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been there done that, typical YOC style never got the T shirt

Years ago when I was still fairly new-ish to bikes, I was at home with the future Ttaskmistress. I was going to ride over to a friend's place and watch movies, as she was going out for the night. All nicely dressed up too, she was... I thought I'd give the bike a quick oil check and top-up. She leaned out and asked if I'd do the same for hers. These bikes had no centrestand, so I was using a block of wood. Ttaskmistress didn't approve, so she insisted I held her bike up while she got down (in her nice clothes) and checked the oil herself. Quick top up... bit more... bit more... "OK that'll do. Start her up", she says... I look down and ask if she wants to put the filler cap back on first. No, says she. You don't need it on when you're just running the engine... We argue about this for a bit, but she insists that she knows more than me. Women are always right... right? I gun the engine and a FOUNTAIN of warm black oil erupts from out the filler port. Several seconds pass as we both realise what's happening, before I finally switch the engine off. The Mrs is absolutely *covered* in oil, her nice outfit ruined, her bike dripping with the stuff, the road awash with it... I even have a few drops on my hand!! So she went and showered, grabbed a new outfit and went out for the evening while I spent the remaining hours of sunlight scrubbing bike and tarmac clean. She made me swear a sacred oath, upon all my swords and the graves of anyone even vaguely related to me, to never speak of this event to anyone... so now most of Reading knows!!

Three brothers aged 21, identical triplets were named Tom, Dick and Harry. Tom being the first born always took charge when they went out on the town for a few drinks and to pull the birds. One Saturday night they went to a nightclub and Tom said “Dick, you get the drinks in while me and Harry go and pull the birds” Tom spotted three girls on the dance floor dancing around their handbags so Tom and Harry went and joined them. After a couple of minutes one of the girls looked up from the floor and shouted “Oh my god!” One of the other girls said “what on earths the matter?” “Just look at the size of their feet” the first girl said. “That's nothing” Tom said pointing to the bar “You should see the size of our Dick's”

CAT LITTER, Why didn't I think of that? Got 3 cat's and enough litter to soak up the North sea, going to be a smelly clean up but better than old towels and rags or even the trusty paper towel route I was going to follow. Oh you meant NEW cat litter !! Cat turds don't seem to soak up oil, you learn something new every day don't you? Thanks DT.

But I did get the brake pads changed while it was off

As above really but Tyres Keep an eye on your bulbs to make sure they work. Keep an eye on your oil. keep an eye on tyre wear and condition. Service the bike so you know when all was done. They are very hardy bikes generally and can take a lot of abuse.

Hi and welcome! Great little bikes

Hi and welcome to the YOC.

That is just, plain, wrong!

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I was emptying a 2 stroke tank a few weeks ago, put a bottle on the end of the pipe to take the oil, got distracted and the bottle overflowed until the tank was empty. Ended up with a lot of oil on the floor. After a newspaper clean up I scrubbed the floor with gunk. Came up very nice, thank you. Bl00dy messy to clear up though.

Hahahahaha, good one Tommo

Well " i went out on saturday past, 27degree. buffalow jacket , no liner- flaps/vents open, T shirt below, jeans- boots , light gloves, . it was great , fresh , Then , 40mls from home , ice cream in hand , we looked at sky..[ bit dark we thot] Well a mile down the road the Monsoon arrived, It was as heavy .we were crawling at 30mph...rode thru massive puddle[ cuddna see it,] the wave flew over my head, filled my boots, it all happed so quickly, ,,, summer gear,,,bah ,,,,

I had just put the petrol tank back on my Virago after stripping the carbs, when the better half opened the kitchen door into the garage to tell me dinner was ready, I'll just put in some petrol and try her I says, F**k in my rush to eat I hadn't connected the fuel pipe to the tank, was I in the dog house, not only did the house smell of petrol for ages apparently the petrol vapor had ruined the meal.

This might make you feel bit better. I did an oil change on my CB750. Flushed and drained the engine, filter off, new one in, cover done up nice and tight. Poured in the fresh oil, and poured, and poured, and poured . Noticed oil all over the floor, bent down to look at the filter cover, noticed the sump plug wasn't in place. I'd only forgotten to replace it after I drained the engine . And yes, Her indoors had about as much sympathy (fell about laughing and told all my mates).

Sacha/Katie, I use a spray called burneze. Takes away the sting and cools the burn. Andrew, fortunately no blister to burst as I used the burneze straight away.

Well guys,no matter how big the bike you welcome everyone which I appreciate.Taxed the bike on Friday,put two gates up at the front of the house ( no garage unfortunately ) over the weekend,and re- hashed my paving so I have a nice ramp to ride up.First time I rode it today,went to work on the ybr ( which is for sale ha ha ) and was crapping myself all day. ( Countersteer,take the corners a bit wider oh shit ! ) Anyway the ride home from work was a dream,can`t believe how comfy it was.My size 10 boots seem to stick under the gear lever so must adjust that asap.Got home, drove straight up my new ramp and left it for all to see before my new cover goes on.About an hour later a knock on the door from an elderly ex hells angel informs me I`d left the lights on ! Bollocks,forgot they don`t go off with the ignition and also when steering is locked I had left it with parking lights on too!! tried cranking it to no avail so wifey phones the local bike shop,yes we are open and that will be £ 49.99 for a charger.Oh we did laugh ( not ! ) So that`s a first lesson learned.But on the plus side,my missus loves it !!!

Absolutely none taken mate

Only joking Jimmy, the Scots have a bad rep for their health but as we all know it's only the info you get from the papers that most folks read and they only like the SENSATIONAL HEADLINE news not the humdrum stuff that normal folks do. so hope I didn't offend mate.

Slice Whilst I'm more than happy to munch my way through a kebab or two, I dont eat chocolate, deep fried or otherwise. A couple of months ago I played in a rugby sevens tournament, then the next weekend I played in a full 15 a side game. These two weekends bridged my 50th birthday, so not bad for someone with such a National stereotype to fill

I meant what i'd do. I cant see a reason to struggle when its so cheap.

I'm not surprised strokes being a big cause. The amount of times I nearly died on my stroker.