Yamabyss

I was doing some experiments in the laboratory the other day. I dipped a gazelle in some Nitric acid - it melted but nothing too exciting happened. I sprinkled shrimps into Sulphur - they got burnt slightly, but it wasn't that spectacular. I then dropped a Panda into some Ammonia - suddenly, there was pandemonium everywhere!

A Man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing Among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present Of £5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty Salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new Outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells Him that she has done this to be more attractive for him Because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him A new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, And some expensive clothes. …

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following employee statistics: 29 have been accused of spouse abuse 7 have been arrested for fraud 9 have been accused of writing bad cheques 17 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses 3 have done time for assault 71 cannot get a credit card 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges 8 have been arrested for shop-lifting 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits 84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year Which organisation is this? It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hun…

Hi, I have an XS400 and its only running on 2 cylinders. What shall I do? drewps

I've just recieved this email, wow, I feel so happy that I'm now a rich man........ I am sure this mail would come to you as a surprise since we have never met before and you would also be asking why I have decided to chose you amongst the numerous internet users in the world. I cannot say why I have chosen you but don't be bothered about this, for I come in peace and something positive, which will affect your life and the lives of others for good. The internet has made the world global villages where you can reach anybody you have not met before. Before I proceed, I am Mother Emily Olivier, 87 Years old and the wife of Late Sir Jack man Olivier who died in a Plan…

hi everyone. am looking to respray my DT as the first paintjob i did i used the wrong laquer and now that ive got the odd splash of petrol on it the paintwork on the tank looks a bit crap. but whats the best way to get those acrylic tank protectors off without damaging them?, i qute like the one ive got and dont want to have to buy another one

Not sure if many of you are aware of this, and to be honest as long as you aren't doing anything wrong it shouldn't be a problem, because as we all know our security services are 100% pure of any hint of mis-using this information, I mean, it's not as if we'd ever go to war over something they mis-represented is it ? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/7985339.stm Anyway, now Big Brother can see where you've been, who you are talking to and what you are reading. So if you want to keep things a secret - buy a newspaper, use a payphone and leave your GPS/Mobile Phone/Blackberry at home!

A man approaches a farmer 1 day and asks him will he sell him his donkey foal, the farmer replies yes and they agree on a price of £500. The man then says that he will be round the next day to collect the donkey. The next day the man arrives to collect the donkey, and the farmer explains that the donkey has since died. The man says not to worry I’ll still give u £50 for it. The farmer is delighted with getting money for a dead donkey. The farmer asks the man why on earth he wants a dead donkey for. The man says that he was going to raffle the donkey off. The farmer says u can’t raffle a dead donkey to which the man says of course you can. A month or so later the farmer…

hi everyone. just wandering, are there any other 50cc L-plate riders or am i here all on my tod? i know theres some 125 riders on the forum but it appears that i am the only 16yo rider here could it be that biking is more for old farts and mid-life crisis sufferers?

I am off course reffering to the "peacfull demonstration", aired on yesterdays news, where a group of fanatics hurled insults, abuse and slanderous accusations at the soldiers returning from a tour of duty. Then the organiser was interviewed on TVAM this morning - why do they give these vile people air time ? He even had the audacity to compare the soldiers (who have been training the Iraqis to look after themselves) to the Nazis under Hitler. It turns my stomach to think out taxes are helping to support this kind of scum. Thier actions were clearly likely to lead to a breach of the peace, so the police had the power to arrest them, why didn't they?? I can see …

Does anyone know where to buy a decent radar and laser detector for my R6? There are already enough speed cameras, but you learn where these are, now there are more portable speed camera vans and the hand held speed guns around my town. I still have a clean licence and I'm a careful rider but if I'm being monitored everywhere I go its only a matter of time until they start lining their pockets with my hard earned cash. If only there was a way to combat the Average speed cameras too.

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman. Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ' Beer' . The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to th…

Driving your car and talking on the 'phone.....! Car drivers that are texting while driving......! I don't think any threat of licence points or fines will ultimately stop this phenomenon. What if I was to offer a discussion suggesting that learner drivers should be tested officially as able to drive and talk, drive and textmessage as part of the accepted Driving Test? In a controlled Driving Test Environment, it makes sense to test an individual's ability to do a three point turn, park between vehicles, navigate traffic flow, drive uphill from a stationary position. Why not include the talk and drive/talk and text ability. Most would fail! It would be…

Wifey comes in after going out with the girls, snuggles up to her husband, hello dear she say's drunkenly i'm going to make you the happiest man in the world........... He replies....... "Don't be daft woman who is gonna help you move out at this time of night............."

OGOAB told me about em and you lot prob know about these guys already but: WWW.TYTRIALS.CO.UK Sorry don't know how to do the clicky bit but the people on the end of the phone at TYTrials are old school bike nuts they know DT's and TY's backwards and are quite happy to yap on about your bike and what you need. Brilliant like a breath of fresh air. All genuine parts too.

My eldest daughter leaves Primary school in July, and for the past 2 weeks all i have heard is "Can i go in the limo with Sophie and Savannah mam"....now i beleive that end of school years are becoming very Americanised, and really kids aged 11 shouldnt even be worrying about a bloody limo for their last day. BUT - i agreed as these are her friends, and i thought well maybe it will make her last day memorable and fun. Beginning of the week she came home rather upset - appparently a couple of other girls are now going in this limo - one of them the school bully who has made Courtney's life hell since she has been at that school - and she has told Courtney that she can…

A little story to help you understand how the rest of the world see's us. A SQUIRRELS TALE REST OF THE WORLD VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END THE U.K. VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, a…

Want to find out where your partner is? Want to track his or her whereabouts? Well, Google Earth has just got better... type in his or her mobile phone number and you'll get the location of that person! Give it a try it's incredible !!! Click on Link Below: http://www.track-your-partner.com/

I was walking through the park and I saw an old guy doing Tai Chi. I watched him for a while, marvelling at his moves. Only when I got closer did I see it was a tramp trying to put on his coat.

Decided to go out for my first decent ride since getting the old XJ900 and since i only passed my test last Thursday.Met up with my mate on his CBR600 and off we went down to Aviemore in the Highlands.Weather was ok,cloudy but dry.Had a great run,just taking my time and getting used to 2 wheels.Only one hairy moment when a pheasant decided to try and land on top my head! Every biker that we passed smiled,waved and nodded,why cant car drivers be more happy??? Anyway i just wanted to share with you,i'm off work this week so i'll be getting a few more miles under my belt.For an old bike the XJ900 was great fun with loads of character and very comfy.