Yamabyss

I bought a sat-nav the other day. What a useless piece of crap. I had it on as I drove around Woburn Safari Park. At one point it said "Now, bear left." I looked left - It was a monkey having a wank. looked nothing like a bear!!

Think about it --------------------------------- I had amnesia once - or twice. Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them. Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a motorway. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else i…

Hey all ! i'm new to this whole website so first of all i would like to say a big hello to all ! i've really wanted to buy a motorcycle for a while and now i finaly can !! w00t ! As i've never road a bike on the road before, i reckon i maybe abit nervous so im unsure in what bike to get it ! i really wanted to buy a yamaha yzf r 125 but they are quite price'y and if i fall off it seems abit of a waste but they look great and i really want 1 ! In a way money isnt a issue to be honest but seems pointless if i smash it up, waste of a good bike ! anyone give me some advice weather to buy 1 or go for somethink cheaper and less nice ? luke

from your nearest stockist

The other night I was expecting an important phone call, so I slept with my mobile under the pillow. When I woke up, it was gone and there was just a shiny new fifty pence piece where I'd left it. Damn that blue-tooth fairy!

A very rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his friends and neighbours. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his Mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating Prawns, oysters and BBQ and flirting. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in..' The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc and kicking its ass, …

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE.' He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, ’From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight; and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress …

Following on from another topic, I thought I'd take -XX- up on her suggestion and start a thread all about how and why Neve Campbell is so adorable. Praise only, please - If you don't like her, start a thread about who you do like!!

The International Council of Man Laws. 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master. b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. c. After wrecking your boss's car. d. When she is using her teeth. 3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends. 4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is uns…

As men age, we start seeing more and more of the medical world and its employees, which nowadays seems to have more and more women as our Physicians and Therapists, etc., and in this case a new Urologist for me. My family Doctor just recently referred me to a just out of medical school female urologist. I saw her yesterday, and she's absolutely drop-dead gorgeous... as well as unbelievably sexy. She told me that I must stop masturbating. I asked her why, and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you......"

Yep, my trusty thrusty little peashooter decided to go pop about 5 miles from andover, 10 miles away from home in the middle of nowere on a country road. quite happily batting along when it just died almost instantly. so i coasted to the side of the road and spent the next 5 minutes kicking it and running up and down the road. a passer by stopped and lent me his phone to call my dad, and after another 5-10 minutes of hammering the kickstart and running around in the road trying to get it to start it did eventually start up but wouldn't idle. i managed to ride it home with my dad following me in the van, later inspection points to either an electrical fault (explains…

Four Cats Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.' T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.' Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them in…

A bloke from Yorkshire goes to the jewellers: He says, "Can tha mek a gold statue o' mi dog?". "Aye, reckon a can," sez the jeweller. "Does tha want it eighteen carat?". "Neigh," sez bloke, "I want it chewin' a bone."

1962 Safety Rules from Honda Taken from a 1962 Honda Motor Cycle Owner's Manual. Translated by Honda for the American Motorcycle Rider. 1. At the rise of the hand by Policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him by or otherwise disrespect him. 2. When a passenger of the foot hooves in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage, tootle him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi. 3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go soothingly by. 4. Give big space to the festive dog that makes sport in roadway. Avoid entangleme…

Hi everyone. im getting myself a little satnav and would like it to be able to charge from my bike whilst im riding. i can use the satnavs' mini USB port to supply the power (5Vdc), and because maplins sell the individual connectors i can make an adapter without much of a problem. BUT. my bike uses a 6V regulated supply for the indicators and brake light, would i be able to run a second wire from the Positive terminal on my 6Vdc battery, drop it through a 5Vdc regulator to the USB plug and then run a common ground from the USB plug and the regulator to the negative terminal on the battery, with an on/off switch on the handlebars i was aiming for a…

Hi everyone. just been doing a bit of research. im currently 16 and paid £180 for Third party fire and theft insurance on my 1989 Yamaha DT50MX with Swinton bikes it will cost me £117 for TP F&T insurance on my Yamaha DT50 next year, when im 17 and have taken a full bike test but only £153 TP F&T on a honda CB250. as opposed to about £1,500 for insuring a car. So, having done my research i have concluded that it will be cheaper and easier to take my full bike test and get a honda CB250 instead of getting a car which will cost more to run and more for insurance, lessons e.t.c. BUT, is there a yamaha equivelant to the honda CB250 that would cost ab…

I have when i was 15. I'm 39 now and i recently saw my old tatty FS1E 100% restored and for sale for £3400!!!! I should have kept it and sorted it out!!! P reg cost me £100 second hand way back when. Did/have you enjoyed the 4 speed pleasure?

Most people think it 's improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.' One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc. Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too. I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique. Sincerely, Your Friend

hi everyone. felt like making a somewhat nostalgic thread for all you more "vintage" riders out there, about the various tips and tricks you learnt to use when it wasn't as easy as ordering a spare part from your dealer and you had to make do with it or mend it. these include tips such as: - Cutting base gaskets from cereal box cardboard or .20 gasket paper. - Rubbing half a potato on the inside of your visor to help prevent it steaming up. - heating up the spark plug before-hand to help start your bike if it had a weak magneto any other tips/tricks? Steve

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ryeBu5D7Tkk&...feature=related