Yamabyss

Some of this is nearly English: Sentences in letters written to councils in UK 1.. It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow 2.. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has Backfired and burnt my knob off. 3.. I wish to complain that my father burnt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.. 4.. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. 5.. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off. 6..My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? …

For anyone who enjoys track days, club racing, testing on a race-track, etc book 'em now while you can. Not a simple as it looks, but the family moved next to a race circuit then go to court to complain about the noise If I've read it correctly the daughter who is claiming is the ex wife of one of the original owners of croft when the circuit was revamped in 1994 (and the parents tried to turn their house into a hotel to profit from the circuit) Headlines : http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/4076...s_noise_appeal/ A RACING circuit today lost its appeal against a legal case brought by a couple and their daughter who say their lives have been blighted …

Thought everyone might be interested to know that following the UK Government's freedom of information act you can now get access to ALL speed camera offences registered in the last 12 months. Did you know that every time your car goes past a speed camera, even 1mph over the set limit, it is registered and put on a database? You only get a ticket if you are way over the limit or, (this is the bit that I didn't know) if you receive over 10 near misses, you will be classed as a serial offender and get a ticket the next time you go just over the limit. This is why you hear of people being done for 34mph in a 30mph limit area, whilst others doing 39 do not. You …

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? My god they need th…

Motorcyclists in Nigeria have been wearing dried pumpkin shells on their heads to dodge a new law forcing them to wear helmets, authorities say. Officials in the northern city of Kano said they had stopped several riders with "improvised helmets", following this month's introduction of the law. Road safety officials said calabash-wearers would be prosecuted. Thousands of motorbikes have been impounded around the country and taxi motorbike drivers have staged protests. Calabashes are dried pumpkin shells more commonly used to carry liquid. According to the new law, all motorbike drivers and motorbike passengers must wear helmets. Kano Federal Road Safety …

When packing your car at ASDA 2 fit 20 year old blondes will offer to wash your windscreen then ask for a lift. On the way they strip to reveal well trimmed pussies. Then one goes down on you while the other nicks your wallet. I had mine stolen Tuesday, twice on Wednesday and Thursday, Saturday afternoon, then again this morning. Be Careful out there!!

Now then " a wee quiz question [ since its fri nicht] WOT DOES -SAE [ as in oil ] stand for . answers please ... aye no lookin up books drew-py

hi goff, im a newby in this forum.and ive been reading some topics on here,i can see that ur one of the moderators. recently handai was suspended for using bad words,is it because hes just a member and hes not aloud to use such foul words?(i can understand that coz its offensive to use them)im saying that coz u the moderator have used the "F" word several times, in wich i think is wrong specially it offends u wen its used against u or anyonelse,and also wen handai left the forum for a few weeks and then came back with a DAS in his hand, happy ofcourse..anyway he was a changed man then,,friendly,,talking civilised to everyone..and then one time u posted this topic called…

There are only ten times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use: 10. What the fuck do you mean we're sinking? -- Capt. E.J Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 9. What the fuck was that? -- Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945 8. Where did all these fucking Indians come from? -- Custer, 1877 7. Any fucking idiot could understand that. -- Einstein, 1938 6. It does so fucking look like her! -- Picasso, 1926 5. How the fuck did you work that out? -- Pythagoras, 126 BC 4. You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling? -- Michelangelo, 1566 3. Scattered fucking showers, my arse! -- Noah, 4314 BC 2 Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out? -- Bill C…

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned-cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor," she said. "S'truth," Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl! I'll go across the road and get Cobber (his mate)." They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way, we can't do it," Cobber said, "so let's try Plan B." "Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?" "I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we…

the cheeky git! went to park my bike the other day and some dick got there before me!!!

Been busy this week and after buying an NOS engine case from XS360's estate ( god bless him) I have now rebuilt the engine. it just needs timing and the wifes help in shoe horning it into the frame( she does have her uses)

looks cool http://www.firebox.com/product/958/Laserpod

I just set up a cleaning company and interviewed some potential cleaners, my mate was handy with his video cam so we made a promo vid here it is waddya think lads,many thanks to bachman turner ovedrive for the music

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact, "Mary . .. Mary . .." "Is that you, Fred?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex. I bathe in the sun and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The n…

Just got my kids building a big snowman. When it thaws, all the dog shit will be in the same spot. Sorted

I dont know about anyone else but i find this deeply disturbing on so many levels. HERE What the fuck were the parents doing while their CHILD was having sex and i cannot believe that both sets of parents allowed this at all

read the buyers reviews almost believable i suppose amazon product review

got sent this today brill