Yamabyss

and this well you gotta readit http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&cl...39967145468A551 merv

Did I read that right? Subject: THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2005: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!] Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [see if that works any better than a fair trial!] War Dims Hope for Peace [i can see where it might have that effect!] If Strike …

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket; instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." Smart Ass Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." Smart Ass Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've bee…

The Difference Between Men & Women NICKNAMES • If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah. • If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes. EATING OUT • When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY • A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. • A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item…

found this on the Aleks site is is a photo of a horrible highway accident in Germany. The picture may be kind of hard to take for some of you. If you look closely you can see what appear to be some survivors of the accident still in the wreckage. Although the picture is quite graphic, it makes you realize how quickly our loved ones can be taken from us. My friend stayed on the scene to help and even though he performed mouth to mouth on quite a few of them, most did not survive. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=1...--name_page.htm shittttttt

A koala is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks Past and looks up and says to the koala "Hey! What are you doing?" The koala says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have A few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' And is going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls Into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little Lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard, "What's The matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he wa…

Those who frequent the RD forums will know who this is aimed at ( Lardon) An Australian, an Irishman and a Cumbrian are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: "My God, it's Jesus!" Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of t…

I don't know how many of you shop at Tesco, but this may be useful to know. I am posting this to you to warn you of something that happened to me, as I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me at Tesco near me and it could happen to you. Here's how the scam works: Two good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the boot. They both start wiping your windscreen with a rag and Windolene, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It will be impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to a…

When the man at the auto repair shop told me that it would cost $1400 to fix my car's air conditioning, I just laughed at him and said, "Heck, I can fix it myself for a whole lot less than that!" MY MOMMA DIDN'T RAISE NO FOOL !!!!!!!

2 Tickets to last years supebike grand prix final to the winner

There is only one answer???.. Driving Test Question You are riding along a two lane road with a NO OVERTAKING sign, and come upon a slower bicycle rider. Do you follow this slow-moving bicycle rider for the next 2 miles, or do you break the law and pass? Which is the correct choice? Scroll down... Why take the chance?

. Whats the diffrence between a drug dealer and a hooker A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your vasectomy. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball Q. Do you know how Cumbrians practice safe sex? A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick. Q. Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it's worth it. Q. Wh…

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's licence in the wallet of every husband or boyfriend. DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown. SAFEST: WOW! Look at you! ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here's my pay packet. ULTRA SAFE: Have some cho…

Maharishi Phucknuckel’s Guide to Zen · Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just f--- off and leave me alone. § The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre. § The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it. · Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any. § Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. § Remember, no-one is listening until you …

Dear Employees: It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner. 1) TRY SAYING: I think you could…

Loves from Turkey for all riders . I have a 1993 XT600E. I'm 38 years old. I'm married and have two kids, one boy and one girl. I like riding very much. Approx. every weekend we escape from the city and ride at the nature. I yamaha.

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead. CINEMA goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a p*ss before the film starts. RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place. DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements. (One for Ardon) WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red…

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please." So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one." The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my…

> > > ITALIAN BOY CONFESSION > > > > > > Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman. The > > > priest asked, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi? > > > Yes, Father it is. > > > And who was the woman you were with? > > > I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation. > > > Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may > > > as > > > well tell me now. > > > Was it Tina Minetti? > > > I cannot say. > > > Was it Teresa Volpe? > > > I'll never tell. > > > Was it Nina…