Yamabyss

Read before scrolling down ............. This actually happened on the aussie version Transcript from aussie weakest link..... Cornelia (the hostess): "michael, why robin?" Michael: "well he struggled with a few easy questions and missed a really simple one." Cornelia: "graham, why robin?" Graham: "he's about the dumbest bloke i've ever met." Cornelia: "claire, why robin?" Claire: "he's a total goose." Cornelia: "well robin, you missed three questions in the last round and didn't bank a cent. You really are a complete moron aren't you? I hope you're proud of yourself. What could you possibly have to say for yourself.....…

A young boy went up to his father and asked "What's the difference between potentially & realistically?" The father ponders for a moment, then answered "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million quid and also ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million quid, then come back and tell me what you learned." So the boy went to his mother and asked "Mum would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million quid?" The Mother replied "Definitely, I wouldn't pass an opportunity like that." The boy then went to his older sister and asked "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million quid?" The girl re…

This is the situation: There is a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. Here is the end of the story with different kind of metalheads as knights. * POWER METAL The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest. * THRASH METAL The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and ****s her. * HEAVY METAL The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and ****s the princess. FOLK METAL The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls …

Capitalism for Dummies Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. American Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. French Capitalism: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. Japanese Capitalism: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide. German Capitalism: You h…

Well i took my Falcon down to get a roadworth here yesterday so i can sell it and move on to singpore. Here in queensland you have to have a RWC to sell a car, which is basically like a mot. The fockers failed it on the wiperblades which are almost brandnew, they had grit on them and left a few lines across the screen! The rear squirter, because i hadnt used it for a while so it didnt squirt the instance they pressed it, took about 5 seconds to get water up to the back then it worked but the mechanic obviously couldnt be bothered to wait that long. The gear stick (Auto) wobbled side to side about 5mm! So ive now just finished changing all the bushes. O…

Charles and Camilla, i couldn't give a rats arse! Is anybody really interested! They next two months are going to be torture here in blighty!

Not far from the Truth ....check it out......HERE

Polish haircut Place for ME

CORK radio station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali. DJ: "96FM here, what's your name?" Caller: "Hi, me name's Dave." DJ: "Dave, what's your word?" Caller: "Goan... spelt, G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'." DJ: "... You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?" Caller: "Goan f**k yourself!" The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until: DJ: "96FM, what's your name?" Caller: "Hi, me name's Jeff." DJ:…

I watched a programme about radio control submarines the other day. Think about that for a moment. Yep, you push your submarine into the lake press the submerge button and there it is gone. Half an hour later up it comes. Marvellous you have just watched a lake for 30 mins. Next question, what happens if it brakes down under water how the hell would you know, are where the bloody hell do you look for it?

This sounds about right From what I've read lately

16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. You should not confuse your career with your life. 6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I wish I had!) …

Can I please have a title like 'bad motherfucker' please ? I am sure I can leave the exact wording to your savage sense of humor ??? I'm feeling kinda left out and sad :cry:

You're an ARSEHOLE YamahaClub > Viewing Profile Viewing Profile: JMW JMW Arsehole Member Group: Members Joined: 16-October 03 Profile Options Add to contact list Find member's posts Find member's topics Ignore User Edit Member Active Stats User's local time Jan 4 2005, 09:19 PM Total Cumulative Posts 281 ( 0.6 posts per day / 2.15% of total forum posts ) Most active in The Bar ( 139 posts / 49% of this member's active posts ) Last Active Today, 05:45 PM Status (Offline) Communicate No Information No Information No Information No Information Send a Personal Me…

Babes on bikes

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called ”Mate Match”. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers ”yes”, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. One particular game, however, several month…

Deer Santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer frend, Billy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read & write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I've been a good girl all year, and the only thing I want is peace & joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my Mommy & Daddy to …

Happy New Year to all.

Ardon put this on Aleks so heres the URL of Ardon and the lads having a laff! Right click save target as is ur best bet! http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gavin.prior/duckbomb1.WMV http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gavin.prior/duckbomb2.WMV I think its funny to see the ducks shitting themselves!!! Joke: In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to …