Yamabyss

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid.", answered the woman. "We don't have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm .... she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots. The maid comes back to the…

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping This letter was recently sent by Tesco’s Head Office to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares …

CAR PARKING The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19.36m (63ft 2 ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova 'Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11.15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement, 8 hours and 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lamp posts. INCORRECT DRIVING The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 50.4km (31 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. …

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the laywer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?" St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"

Take a look at this..... http://www.break.com/index/brandnewbike.html what a pr*ck

A young man goes to a whorehouse to expierence his first taste of sex. The madam suggests that he start with 69. He decides to give it a try. The prostitute leads him to a room, gets undressed, and instructs the young man to eat her pussy. Unfortunately, just as he starts she farts. The man quietly says to himself, "phew", but he goes down on her again. A moment later she farts again. He says "phew", but continues. Once more she farts. This time he immediately gets up and starts walking out. She asks him what's wrong, and he replies "I don't think I can take another 66 of those!"

Geez, that didn't last long Following Camels recent announcement, Yamaha Factory Racing would like to express its thanks to Camel and Japan Tobacco International for their partnership and support over the 2006 MotoGP season. Our thanks go out to all those involved in the project; they have formed an important part of our team over the past year. It has been a great honour for Yamaha to work with such an experienced sponsor and Camels enthusiasm throughout the season has been greatly appreciated by the entire Yamaha Factory Racing Team and the Yamaha Motor Group. It'll be interesting to see who ends up being their main sponsor.

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?" That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment." So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin' horth. Can I thee her eyeth?" So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?" So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. "Nith earzth, can I see her mouf? " The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by th…

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park or... you can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add…

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my packed lunch and filled a Thermos, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the back of the Range Rover, let the dog into the backseat,and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing at least 40 knots. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the forecast was bad for the rest of the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out t…

hi all,im fitting a tw125 4 stroke into my husqvarna wr 125 2stroke!i have mant reasons for this here are a few: yamaha motors go forever and are the best,my husky is a massive and a very good looking bike,i dont want to ride anything bigger and only use the bike for summer rides,insurance and road tax are dead cheap,although the huskey is very very quick i dont want the hassel to maintain the engine and mix oil with the fuel........any way now for the question...my husky has an expantion pipe and an alley tail pipe,can i leave the alley back box on when i fit the yamaha engine? thanks

The SAS, the Paras and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook. Night falls. First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced double-tap. They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes. "Excellent!" remarks the trainer. Next up - the Para's. They finish their cans of lager, sme…

Take a look at this game.. http://www.gamesolo.com/games/dirtbike.swf It will drive you around the bend.

Subject: Politically Correct Britain - A Winter's Tale! REST OF THE WORLD VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END ----------------------------------------//------------------------------------------------- THE BRITISH VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for th…

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No." So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty. "Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra an…

can you get a reasonable priced windsheild for XJ600N ??? if so where from ????

..............to post anything here for quite a while never thought i'd own a diesel, 2 stroke till i die, me. i did come close a few years ago, when the R6 first came out. it was hailed as 'the 2 stroke 4 stroke' so i took a demo ride on one. never been more dissapointed, nothing like a stroker all revs and no kick. this on the other hand, is like riding a stroker in the band all the time, instant kick in any gear. didnt even consider the new R6, as its even more revvy and flat than the last one, let alone the first. had it since june 3rd, nearly 2000 miles on it now, its bloody awsome!

for anyone who reads "Fast Bikes" magazine... in the letters department is my bike!!! woo!!! i am very chuffed!

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/frosty Bout time too!

AS A WOMAN PASSES HER DAUGHTER'S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR, SHE HEARD A STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN. OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED HER DAUGHTER GIVING HERSELF A REAL WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR. SHOCKED, SHE ASKED:"WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?" THE DAUGHTER REPLIED: "MOM, I'M THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE." THE NEXT DAY, THE GIRL'S FATHER HEARD THE SAME BUZZ COMING FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR. UPON ENTERING THE ROOM, HE OBSERVED HIS DAUGHTER MAKING PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER VIBRATOR. TO HIS QUERY AS TO WHAT SHE WAS DOING, THE D…