Yamabyss

When I pulled the curtains this morning and looked out, I thought there must have been a terrible storm last night. Fences were laying flat, windows were smashed in, rubbish was strewn all over the place, and the power was out. Then I remembered. I live on a council estate.

A bloke asks barman for a quadruple scotch, then necks it in one. Barman says " WOW, what's wrong? Bloke says " I came home early and went up to the bedroomwhere I saw my wife shagging my best friend" "What did you say?" asks the barman. Bloke says "I told her to pack her things and f*** off" " What about your best friend?" asks the barman. The bloke replies "I looked him straight in the eye and said BAD DOG!

This bloke goes to see his doctor and says, "every time I fart, it sounds like a Honda motorbike." So the doc asks the chap to pull his pants down and bend over. Sure enough, the man farts loudly and its sounds like a Honda motorbike. The doc says, "you've got an abscess up your arse." The bloke says, "surely it can't make my arse make noises like that." The old doctor says, with a cheeky smile, "abscess makes the fart go Honda!"

I went to see Chubby Brown at the weekend. As soon as he came on stage I started shouting "You fat bastard! You fat bastard!" Then I was told by security that that sort of behaviour wasn't tolerated at the Labour party conference.

A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Welshman. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and... put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever…

WHY DOES IT HAVE BIG ADVERTS NOW, LAME. if you click on them then the forum gets money, so i guess it isnt to bad, just abit tacky. anyone used the feedback button?

Mick appeared on the Irish version of 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' and was nearly at the end of the quiz with winnings of £500,000.. 'You've done very well so far,' said the show's presenter, 'to get the £1 million, you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question . . . will you have a go?' 'Sure,' said Mick. 'I'll have a go!' 'OK. The question is: Which of the following birds does NOT build its' own nest?' a) Robin b Sparrow c) Cuckoo or d) Thrush.' 'I haven't got a clue,' said Mick, 'so I'll use my last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy back home in Ballygoon.' Mick called up his mate, told him th…

When I go, I want this, but not for a long time yet!!!!

Does any body have any experience with Rex Judd? A week ago I put my Dragstar 125 in for a M.O.T. and a service, on booking it in (almost a month before) I told them that the front tyre will need changing, so they said O.K. and told me it would still be done in one day. Six days later I'm still waiting for it, the guy said he had to order me a Dunlop as it matches the back now when I spoke to them today the guy said he could get a Pirelli and have it done for my tomorrow. To be honest I think they have been really sh*t with communication and without me chasing them I'm sure I could still be waiting next week! Has anybody else had similar with them? Who thinks I should…

just bought new helmet and picked the caberg because it had the internal sun visor. never heard of them before. but wot a great idea slides out the way when not needed. one simple slideing switch. wish i had one years ago.

Hi I am trying to locate some spray paint for my SR 125 2002 model. ( Dark blue/puple met ) the colour code i found under seat is 3MW9-060 A Can anyone help Thank you

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yes, I do," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdroppi…

WHOS GOT EM ALL. HAVE TRIED EVERYWHERE LOOKING FOR PETROL TANK HEEELLLLP

I got my copy of Motorcycle Racer magazine this weekand read Larry Carter's editorial with interest. Specifically, it referred to the current spate of recently moved-in residents complaining about noisy facilities that were there before they were and wanting them stopped. The article then gave a link to the petition to the PM asking for "Grandfather rights" for such facilities, suggesting that objections be rejected so long as the activity has not increased significantly. The reason I bring it up is because of the threat to racing circuits, which would fall under such proposed protection. Castle Combe is restricted in what it can do, as is Croft, apparently. Lydden Hi…

In a recent story in our paper a local biker was given a 2 year ban and a £400 fine after being clocked at 142mph on a dual carriageway in Kent. He accepted that he had broken the law and deserved to be punished, but felt that the ban was excessive citing in his defence: Amir Khan the boxer had been stopped by Lancashire police after a chase which reached speeds of 155mph, he was given a £1000 fine and a 42 day ban, this was his second driving offence, the first in which he injured a pedestrian. The biker felt that this was inconsistent...........................................what do you all think?

hello fellow yamerhamers iv got some one that is interesting in part exchanging his toyota 1.3starlet turbo Glanza for my bike and cash from my side..i no insurance will R*pe me for once i pass my test which is on friday but its a fairly quick car and was wondering what your thoughts are on it?

German police after this guy........62mph on a skateboard.... News here Edit 19 9 08 Ah well peeps, the news thread has been removed, shame it was quite good.

An amateur magician accidentally turns his wife into a settee and his two kids into armchairs. He starts to panic. He tries every trick in book but none work so, in desperation, he decides to take them to hospital. Once at casualty, the magician spends a sleepless night while the medical staff run numerous tests on the unfortunate woman and children. Finally, the head doctor comes out into the corridor to speak to the magician. "How are my family?" he asks worriedly, "are they alright?" The doctor replies, "they're comfortable..."

Hi All Just bought a yamaha yzf125r and have had it 4 days now. Love the bike to bits its ace, fit double bubble screen that does work to deflect the wind have also bought tail tidy and have ordered micron gp exhaust full system. Not fit it yet but just wondered if anybody has one as i heard Micron have gone bust cheers. PS i know everybody asks this question but is the bike de restricted or is it just in the exhaust cheers all

I wonder if anyone can offer any help or suggestions. My 97 Divvy 600 has started to absorb water into the seat just at the point behind the petrol tank. I discovered this when I set off riding and felt my inner thighs became damp, (you wouldn't want that sentence taken out of context would you). It appears to be seeping out of the side stitching on the seat when I sit on it. By pushing down on it I have discovered it is seeping out through the stitching holes. Other than this the seat cover looks like new. It is becoming a pain because I am having to wear waterproofs when the weather is dry or I still get wet. Has anyone got any ideas on how to remedy this because w…