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I think I've found my new GP Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually.. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good s…

If you choke a smurf what colour would he turn? Why do kamikaze pilots ware helmets? Why do they sterilize lethal injection needles?

Four dads introducing their sons. Scottish dad said. "this is my son Andrew, we named him Andrew because he was born on St Andrews day" Welsh dad said. "this is my son David, we named him David because he was born on St Davids day" English dad said. "this is my son George, we named him George because he was born on St Georges day" Irish dad said, let me introduce my son, Pancake.

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response. "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools." "That's a beautiful telesc…

this months Cassic bike, an XT500 resto, i recognize the seat, and home made exhuast,,, Mark" is famous ,,

right you here's a question for only the smart amongst you.. if you buy an updated sd card from say"Tom-tum, about £32 would you then be able to (lend ) it to a mate, so that he could maye copy it onto his own sd card, and use it free in his own satnav .

A husband says to his wife, "My olympic condoms have arrived ...... I think I'll wear the Gold one tonight" His wife replies, "Why not wear the Silver one and come second for a change"

Well had a trip down south, with member Black tiger,[sye] he bought a Can-am quad, 800cc, from Bury St Edmunds, then trip up to York, and picked up me ZL900 Iliminator, [1985] as i wanted another 4stroke, as i sold my ZRX1200. Hers some pics, Sye tying the load,

Page from the Daily Mail LINKY Includes this one

why don't paki's let their kids play in the sand the cats keep burying them up !!!!!!

i went out last-night on the lash, you know the one ....a major piss up with the boys, i woke up this morning lying next to the most ugliest bastard you could imagine..................................................................................... that's when i realized i made it home safe and sound.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=cYIhNLEzAds&feature=related Well worth watching, if it works

Well we been having problems in the bed room, so she sends me to the docs to get checked out, but i don't think she was impressed when i came back with slimming pills! I know i should love her no matter what and i honestly can say i do.......i mean for example she fell down a set of steps in town the other day and i didn't even laugh........the pavement cracked up! tho thats different. I also think its bit bad that every time we go to make love she has to fart just to give me a clue, or a bit of talc is needed to show me where the damp patch is, but other than this its quite and adventure banging my wife because if i miss her glory box her elbow or knee is just as good…

http://www.hidden-shallows.co.uk/2011/11/11/whats-in-a-shed-part-1/

Riding through the countryside I saw a scarecrow in a field trying to have a wank. I thought to myself, he's clutching at straws

Got sent this, sure some of you have to, however, i thought I'd share it here.......very amusing! Baldrick: "What I want to know, Sir, is, before there was a Euro there were lots of different types of money that different people used. And now there's only one type of money that the foreign people use. And what I want to know is, how did we get from one state of affairs to the other state of affairs." Blackadder: "Baldrick. Do you mean, how did the Euro start?" Baldrick: "Yes, Sir." Blackadder: "Well, you see Baldrick, back in the 1980s there were many different countries all running their own finances and using different types of money. On one side you had t…

Heres the Mag you missed drewps,,,

I took my wife to a disco the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor moonwalking, back-flips, the works. My wife turned to me and said, ''See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.'' I said, ''It looks like he's still celebrating''

Do you have feelings of inadequacy ? Do you suffer from shyness ? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive ? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about - Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyn…

Just a quick tip for the ladies. When your man asks for a blow job don't moan about it! Just remember ...............its easier to swallow a table spoon of salt than it is to lick a dead fish!