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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my …

Whitney Houston won an impressive six Grammy's in fourteen years... Slightly less impressive was her recent attempt at six grams in fourteen minutes... Whitney Houston died doing what she did best... Holding a note! Bobby Brown has been found dead in his LA apartment, his suicide note read "Two Can Play That Game" Was going to email simon cowell and ask him to do a tribute Album to whitney. heres the songs i would put on the Album 1, All the Man That I Need now All the crack I need 2, Could I Have This Kiss Forever now Could I have this high forever 3,Didn't We Almost Have It All now didn’t we almost snort it all …

oops double post? deleated.

Known for their wooden handling. This may be the reason. LIKNY 1 LINKY 2

What do you call an arab standing between two buildings? Ali!

http://video.staged.com/dvxjunkie/extreme_idiots_compilation

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 9. …

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. **** And the WINNER is.... **** FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £2…

bad taste but youve got to laugh I reported a dead woman lying in a field to the police. They asked me: 'How did you find her body?' I said, 'Her tits were ok, but the rigormortis had tightened her arse a bit too much for my liking' My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb, so I drew a cock on it A man donates blood to his wife after she is badly hurt in a car crash. A few years later they go through a bitter divorce and he demands his blood back!. So she throws a tampon in his face and says "there you go you miserable git, I'll pay you back monthly!" And the moral of this story is :- Even if a woman eventually pays back wha…

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on,together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times that her husband finally asks, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile. "Thank God - I thought you were sitting on the cat."

What makes 100%? what does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? we have all heard of someone who wants to give more than 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% ! in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions; if; A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as; 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 22 23 24 25 26. THEN; H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =98% and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96% But' A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100% And' B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+…

Anyone over the age of 35 should read this, as I copied this from a friend .. Checking out at the grocery store recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. I apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days." The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right about one thing -- our generation didn't have the green thing in “Our” day. So what did we have back then…? After some reflection and soul-searching on "Our" day here's what I remembered we did have....…

As the dog sat watching the orchestra, he stared at the conductor and thought.. "Just throw the fucking thing."

It's a sad day,,,,,, Had to put my dt-1 up for sale on ebay

Just wondering what etiquette you all adhere to when passing another human being on 2 wheels. I'm still amazed at the friendliness of some bikers who would acknowledge you in the midst of a force 10 gale while others give the impression you've kicked their cat, stolen their wallet and slept with their wife! And what about those mopeds ? Do they ignore us bikers out of fear or some odd inverted snobbery ????

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Well worth a read, really funny piss taking auzy. http://27bslash6.com/

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep. A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"

mangy minge, or smoothie silk, you decide http://guesshermuff.blogspot.com/?zx=4cedb87134c199d

"The HMRC decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the regional office. The HMRC auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his solicitor. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the HMRC finds that believable.' 'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand pounds that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and…