The Bar

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions". "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry." This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it …

I saw this and thought of you...

Hi Everyone I'm sorry to spam the forums but it is for a genuine cause. I am climbing Mount Kilimanjaro on the 1st September 2007 to raise money and awareness for the Amani Children's Home. I will also be visiting the Amani home in Moshi, Tazania, which sits at the bottom of Mount Kilimanjaro. Where I will spend time with the children who will benefit from the money donated. The Amani Children's Home rescues children from the perils of life on the streets in Tanzania, who face a high risk of HIV transmission and malnutrition. Kilimanjaro is the highest mountain in Africa and the largest freestanding mountain in the world (world’s fourth highest peak). It's…

You Think English is Easy? Can you read these right the first time? 01) The bandage was wound around the wound. 02) The farm was used to produce produce. 03) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 04) We must polish the Polish furniture. 05) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 06) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 07) Since there is no time like the present , he thought it was time to present the present. 08) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 09) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. …

Well here goes, my first foray onto an internet forum on bikes. This should serve to show that even some of us in the trade don't know it all. I've returned after 15 years out of it to the workshop which is non franchised and but equipped to the teeth and prepared to service and repair anything. We have an XT 600Z with a G plate. Its a UK model and unfortunately for us we have to get this non runner into a goer. The recent work history given to us though means we need to follow all the genuine Yamaha testing on the electrics and ignition system to find the fault. It has been to another nearby local repair shop who fobbed the owner off in an appalling manner …

hi everyone-names gary (obviously) and guess what i do have 2 bikes-the fz1n which i got in october and have now done 5000 miles on it-including riding lands end to john o groats, and a zx6r from 2000 which i'll never sell as got a pillion ride on it when djeffries broke down at my point on monday am practice the year he passed away, he needed lift back to grandstand so i gave him my keys and i sat on back-bloody brilliant and fast as f*** usually you can see me sat in lemon and lime at various circuits watching the races as have covered at british/irish and dutch tt as well as manx races

Hi all, havent posted on the site for a bit due to new baby. Its blue with about 172 bhp at the crank.................and yes its another Yamaha. Nice shiny 06 R1.

The Value of a Drink "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink…

Hi all, i am thinking about getting the new Haga rep as i think its an awesome colour scheme and as i do a lot of mile on the bike i want to know my head is as well protected as i can get and even though £500 is a steep price to pay safety is my main concern. Just wanted to know if anyone has got an Arai Corsair and their thoughts on it or words of advices regarding Arai's in general. Are they noisey?? My KBC Vr2 legend is quite noisey and it bugs me a bit! And if anybody has got any other helmets they strongly recommend please say! Cherers.

The late Pope John Paul II was standing at 'the gates' discussing things with St Peter. Behind St Peter was a huge wall with an enormous number of clocks on it, and the Pope was inquisitive about these clocks. Said Peter, "These are lie clocks. Everyone alive and dead has a lie clock, and each time they tell a lie one second is added to the clock. So when they come up here we know whether the person is also telling us fibs to get in". The Pope thought this was a great idea, so he asked to see his clock. Sure enough, the hands were stuck on midnight never having moved. The Pope had never told a lie in his life. A couple of clocks to the left were a clock with the…

Hi everyone, i am a new member and happy owner of a lovely blue 2004 dt125 re i have already de restricted it and now it has a little extra power( it had to be done it was shockingly slow lol.) (snorkel removed, jetted, ignition wire mod and derestricted the front pipe oem rear exhaust for stealth just a quick question please, does anyone know where i could get a hold of a replacement seat cover?, it need not be yamaha oem, as i intend to change the graphics (my next question so where do i get a graphics kit?, or could you direct me to a company/shop that supply new/different ones.? thanks in advance Darren.

has anyone tried Maxxis sport tyres on there bike ? what do/did you think of them, i 've seen them on ebay for £99.00 a pair 120/70/17 180/55/17 but thought i would ask you before getting them and fitting them to my 1000 exup. Dave

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane > > when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador > > Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very > > quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. > > > > The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a > > 'sniffing dog'. "His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll >show > > you once we get airborne, when I put him to work." The plane took off, > > and once it has leveled out, the agent said, "Watch this." He told >Sniffer &gt…

My play thing!

any one know where i can get a parts list for a 2006 r6 ? i had a smash and now have the estimate but have now idea whats bits are what as only have numbers and some thing like lever but what lever?? IE: it wll say some thing like 123533 cover 1 . what cover is that >??

Hey-up... Just passed last week... Bought myself a black Yamaha Fazer 6, shweet, just needs a bit of tlc... Bit of rubbing and painting and she'll look tidy as... Need a new mirror, and want to re-spray round engine and exhaust and paint wheels silver... Anyone on here living in Lancs...? I'm in Preston... Kitch...

anyone have any knowledge with porting and poslishing head on 2000 r1, is it worth the expense, how much horsepower can i expect to gain? any got any suggestions, thanks,

quick question for ya , ive got a new r6 and some lady knocked me of it . i cant be arsed to wait for insurance to pay out so im thinking of fixing it my self . the quote from george whties in swindow want £4532.05 im like WFT . ive priced bits up and i can do it for around a grand . but ive seen a crank case cover on a web site in the us and its only £57 inc p&p . but if i buy it when it gets deliverd will thay want loads of tax aswell? ive head things about this

Just a quick word to say HI. Just aquired an XJ600 pre divy. Not got her home yet but shes got to be easier to get parts for than the last project (xj400 grey import). that one was a non strter from the beginning. This one only needs the fork seels, exhaust slight welding to stop blow and back tyre and whats more, I know the history of the bike and at least this one has a log book. OH and in case anyone ws wundering, Im in south Wales UK. This sight looks good and will probably help answer a few questions I have so no doubt I'LL be back soon. DAB

Anyone have a suggestion/website for aftermarket clocks that can be mounted on a Yamaha 1100 Silverado?