The Bar

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home,maybe at work) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the…

I am off to the Ally Pally show on Monday, and I was going with my brother, however he now can't make it so I have a free ticket going spare if anyone is going on the Monday. (30th) First to PM me gets the ticket and I will arrange to meet at the entrance (I am coming from Yorkshire so will be there about 11 to 12)

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...2 men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. "Kill her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about…

Hi, im an SV biker in need, Please could everyone who reads this post spend a few short moments to partake in the questionnaire below; Simple instructions are below. The questionnaire is just about bikers like you and what you percieve I would greatly appreciate if you could find the time as I am trying to get around 150 questionnaires collated. This would be a great help as this is part of my dissertation research for my business studies degree. Oh and this is not market research as some people have asked, just for my degree and have chosen to do suzuki as i own one, just need buying behaviour and bikers perceptions of the suzuki brand. Many Many Thanks A…

I am hungry = I am hungry. 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy. 3. I am tired = I am tired. 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage. 5. I love you = Let's have sex now. 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you. 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.

1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want... 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble. 7. Sure, go ahead = You'd better not. 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later. 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? _________________

For the Yamaha boyz who are sporting a new look this year..... Appearantly Rossi was fastest during the 1st day of testing @ Sepang.....nothin' new there It'll be interesting to see who can mount any kind of a challenge for the Champ this year.

thought this is quite useful. considering the pending fuel blockade read right into it and start to order http://www.petroldirect.com

Hi i am looking for a job within the motorcycle industry and have been buying/repairing and selling motorbikes as a hobby for the last 15 years and would like to turn this into a full time career move if possible, anything considered within a 15-20 mile radius of J29 of the M1 motorway. Many thanks.

Hi, Took a tumble on my Thundercat YZF600 last weekend . I got a few cuts and bruises, and was dizzy for a couple of days, but otherwise ok. Can't say the same about the bike, pretty smashed down the left side, left handlebar snapped off, left and top fairing and rear panel broken, mirror broken off, left footpeg snapped, not to mention my injured pride. I accidentally spun the bike in Stratford, the roads were very slipery (I was actually trying to go in a straight line at the time), lost control as it spun, hit the curb and down like a ton of bricks. All I remember as my head hit the ground was my visor popping off and bouncing down the road... If anyone kn…

today me and my firnd have completed a just under an 100 mile round trip! we set off from my house at about 10 and didn't return till about half three! our route took us through some beautiful places, and some shit roads to! we saw the beach at morcombe, stopped for lunch in lancaster and stopped at dunsop bridge and beacon fell!! it was brilliant some roads are rediculous to ride on though especially with the stupidly skinny tires on my tzr. however both of us completed our tour well and we really enjoyed it! Who said you can't have fun on a 50cc is talking bollox!!!! here is a picture of my bike at morcombe... and another one in the middle of no where…

Hi im new to this website and have recently bought a 1995 Yamaha Dt50 mx. Unfortunately the speed of the bike is a problem as i am used to bikes over 125cc so the 50cc will no cut it. But it is a lovely bike to ride and i would be happy if it went a bit faster say 65-70mph. I know this is possible but it has been a nightmare looking for parts so can anyone please tell me where i can get a 70cc big bore upgrade kit and a new exhaust. Cheers Mnty

Hi guys.....I'm Bud and I live in Milton Keynes and I got an 03 Fazer 600. Look forward to talking to you guys.

Courtesy of MotoGP.com MotoGP World Champion Valentino Rossi had the opportunity to display his sheer speed on four-wheels in last weekend’s Monza Rally Show in Italy, as he teamed-up with Carlo Cassina to compete on a Subaru Impreza WRC prepared by Prodrive. The Doctor took second overall in the main event, as he was beaten by just 5.6s by Italian veteran Dindo Capello, but he shone in the final showdown which saw the drivers going head-to-head on a 1,500m gymkhana set in the main straight of the Monza circuit. Valentino Rossi has successively beaten Felice Re and Rinaldo Capello to qualify for the finale, which saw him face former WRC Champion Colin McRae…

Arfternoon folks, I'm having a bit of trouble getting booked in for my test. Some schools want me to sit 15 lessons before my test, some expect me to do 5 lessons on a 125 after my CBT. I've ridden bikes before (motorcross) so 15 lessons is a bit overkill. I've found a local guy who will do me hour lessons on a 500+ bike. Now, would be able to have a restrictor kit fitted to my R6 and use that on the road (since I now have my CBT) and use it on my test (not the most sensible choice but this guy is a one man band so is very hard to get a test time on his bike). Cheers guys!

my brother inlaws parents got a letter through the door the other day, no name just address. and what was inside? cocaine! they never knew what the hell it was but thought it dodgy to say the least so took it into the local plod station. who it was meant for i dont know the live in a little cottage(with a few others around it) out in the country!

Why are you reading this instead of going for a ride on this lovely day :?:

For fasteners like, nothing else. Anyho, I'm wanting to replace all of the fasteners and a lot of the bolts etc. on my R6 as there's a few went south. I can't find anywhere that sells them for love or money though. Any ideas?

One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "what it means to be British?" Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland ... Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for A Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Well im not sure on the riders, but i must say that this must have hurt!