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That didn't make me laugh at all. I did, however, nearly shit.
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Isles of Scilly Police vacancy

Unique Opportunity

There is a post currently available for a Police Constable on the Isles of Scilly. Quite possibly the most enviable policing post in the UK or even the world, after mine. It only comes around every few years. Amongst other things the successful candidate will possess the following attributes:

The ability to explain cheerfully in infinite different ways to holiday makers that “No you are not hallucinating I am a real Police Officer” and “Yes there are things for me to do here”.

The resolve to issue a parking ticket to your spouse so tactfully so as not find dinner in the dog thereafter.

At 2am whilst still wearing pyjamas under your uniform and wiping sleep from your eyes having been called out on duty from deep REM sleep, resolve a disagreement originating hours beforehand regarding the merits of sea salt verses rock salt between a couple of drunk chefs.

Un-flinching confidence to know what to do when you are alerted to an abandoned seal pup making its way up the main street.

An acceptance that at 6:15pm you will be handed an item of lost property whilst off duty in the Coop queuing for the till with both arms laden with a thawing tub of ice-cream and fish fingers hastily chosen so as to provide a meal for your children before they go to judo at 6:30.

Sounds idyllic?

If you have a moment during your day feel free to practice your brief one liner applications online here. Closing day is Friday. Who knows, this time next month you could be rescuing goldfish, investigating fried eggs, competing with Lifeboat crews to make pasties, guarding clogs for Dutchmen and taking your orders from a cat. Only followers of this site need apply as inevitably you will feature here anyway and your mum will want to know what you are up to. Good Luck.

Sgt Colin Taylor

and yes it is real


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Now that's my kind of kid. LOL

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AHAHAHAHA LMFAO I highly doubt a couple of these but a couple cracked me up.


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