mike1949

What am I like? I always put a disc lock on the bike whenever and wherever I park it, complete with a bright yellow reminder attached to the throttle grip to remind me it's on there I came out of work Friday 2nd Oct half asleep, started it up,revved up and went. Went about 9 inches and the bike totally collapsed under me.Luckily no damage to me or the bike, What a plonker!

I'm more scared of you than your EBT

600 is chain driven, 900 is shaft driven. My Divvy has the same problem, more when selecting first when bike has been stood overnight or when selecting first after work. I've put the bike up on the centre stand, put it into first (not with engine running) and there is quite a lot of freeplay on the back wheel which makes me think there is too much slack in the front sprocket drive shaft. The chain is properly adjusted by the way.

It will also help to turn the plastic tap occasionaly from on to reserve and back again. I didn't for a couple of years and when I did run out of fuel and tried to switch to reserve the tap had seized up and the plastic tap cracked and broke off. Luckily I was at work and used a small spanner but if I had been in the middle of nowhere I dread to think what might have happened. knowing my luck two cars would come along at the same time, a beutiful blonde without a spanner and a camp gay with a spanner.

A man walks past a restaurant with a sign in the window saying "We will cook you any meal you want or we will give you £20.00" He goes in and asks for an elephant's ear sandwich. Two minutes later the waiter comes back and says "Sorry sir we are right out of bread"

In a South American cotton plantation in 1849 there was a rather large very muscular negro slave called James. One day the lady of the house called him over. "James", she said, "Yes ma'am " "James, take off my dress" "Yes ma'am" said James. and he took off her dress. "Now James, take off my stockings. "Yes ma'am" said James. and he took off her stockings. "Now James, take off my brassiere" "Yes ma'am" said James. and he took off her brassiere. "Now James, take off my briefs" "Yes ma'am" said James. and he took off her briefs. "Now James" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Don't ever let me see you wearing my clothes again!

Welcome Steve and well done for starting off small, you'll find the bikes of today are a lot more powerful than the swinging seventies.

The other version is. "Well now, you'd better be cutting it into 8, because I'm fecking starving!)

Well, at least,(I hope) some good has come out of this poor blokes mishap. Don't we all make stupid mistakes and learn from them? His photos will remain in more peoples memories than any Health & Safety brochure. In reality, in three months time everyone that has viewed the pics will have forgotten them. He (the casualty) will remember it for the rest of his life.

I think everybody should have a look at this. I'm as guilty as most people and chain lube with the bike on the centre stand and running in gear, although I don't use a cloth but spray from an aerosol. From now on I will turn the wheel round by hand.

Also, while your at it replace the needle bearing behind the pressure plate, approx £10.00

A man goes into a French restaurant and says to the waiter "Have you got frogs legs" The waiter replies "wee" The man says "well hop away and get me a steak then"

You only need to replace the steel plates if they are damaged or warped (check by putting them on a flat metal surface)

I bet Pontius Pilot hadn't even earned his wings at that time.

This is 2009, You've either got to accept this sort of communication or join your local library club.

I'm in tears!!

Fantastic

Mr Smith got a phone call from his doctors surgery asking him to come and have a chat with the doctor on a most urgent matter. The doctor said "Mr Smith, I am very sorry to have to tell you but I have some bad news for you, and some VERY BAAAD news for you. Which would you like first?" Mr Smith replied "I'd like to have the bad news first please doctor" "OK Mr Smith, I'm afraid the bad news is that you have only got 3 weeks to live" After a very distraught Mr Smith recovered he said "Golly gosh, if thats the bad news, what on earth is the VERY BAAAD news? "Well" the doctor said "I am really sorry about this, but the VERY BAAD news is..................................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "I should have told you 3 weeks ago"

A lady went into a tattooist and said can you tattoo a butterfly on each of my cheeks. The tattooist said. "I'm not very good at butterflies, what about bees? "No" the lady said, "I really do fancy a couple of butterflies tattooed on my buttocks" The tattooist insisted that he really was not very good at doing butterflies but was good at doing bees. In the end the lady gave in and said OK I'll have a bee on each of my buttocks. When she went home that night, in the bedroom she said to her husband, "would you like to see my new tattoos?" "Of course said her husband" So she bent down and removed her draws and directed her buttocks towards her husband. After a while of deliberation he said. "Who's BoB?"

Certainly not! It's just that I grew up in the fifties, and I dreamed of women like you which were beyond my reach. And as you being 39, well, I'm not to sure.

Difficult question. You've taken me back in time, and my mum was an absolute stunner in her day.

You look just like my mum............AND SHE IS AT LEAST THIRTY YEARS OLD!!

It's a sweet song.

Definitely try E.bay you can get some really good bargains on there if you don't mind second hand.

I agree with Joshua above. Surely, if your riding in wet conditions, Wouldn't you be very cautious? I tend to ride well behind the vehicle in front and when braking apply both front and rear brake very gently at the same time.