Yamabyss

Well peeps, i am a happy foamy tonight Managed to get the FTO down the workshop and re-assemble the wingmirror that was held on with bodge tape, araldited all the mounts back together and saved myself £30 for a new mirror picking up a second hand door on friday to replace the dented one which is on the car right now and polished the headlights. Very simple jobs, but gives me a great sense of satisfaction, what's the most satisfactory things you have done?

Next generation of RN Ships Details have been released regarding Britain's introduction of the next generation of fighting ships: The Royal Navy is proud of the cutting edge capability of the new fleet of Type 45 destroyers. Having initially named the first two ships of this class HMS Daring and HMS Dauntless, the HM Ships naming committee have, after intensive counselling, renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence. The final four ships are to be named HMS Empathy, HMS Nervous, HMS Timorous and HMS Apologist. Costing £750 million, they have been designed to meet the needs of the 21st century; in addition to state of t…

The Clitoris Licking Frog A woman sees a sign outside a pet shop, CLITORIS LICKING FROG £50. She goes in “I’d like to see the clitoris licking frog” she says, “Bonjour” the shop keeper replies.

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.' 'What do you mean?' said the pirate, 'I feel fine.' Bartender, 'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.' Pirate, 'Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.' Bartender, 'Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?' Pirate, 'We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.' ' Bartender 'What about that eye patch?' Pirate, 'Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds fl…

I took the bike out for a spin today, whilst the weather was looking good and it was while riding along a lane here in deepest, darkest Somerset, I came across a house in the middle of nowhere. Doing a quick u-turn, I rode up the driveway. I knocked on the door and it was opened by a kind faced, elderly woman. "Can I help you?", she smiled." "It's because of people like you, that stamps are so ruddy expensive!", I screamed at her, before getting back on my bike.

few days ago I found my rear brake sized, fortunately the problem was just on the brake pedal. first time I try solve the problem with WD40 and was partially done, but after I get 2 horns in traffic, I was sure the problem is not fully solved and I was thinking my brake light remain on so... garage time, got a complete set of swearing, a incomplete set of wrench and I start dismount the brake... almost broke 2 nuts in my desperate try to unscrew those, at the end I finally unscrew those... nest step.. a f circlip... take in my hands some screwdrivers, in my mouth some swears, lot of pain in my soul and after 30 min I manage to get off this f circlip. at the end I finish …

Enough was enough today. Happened to be riding home from work in the pissing rain, at the same time as the local senior school , sorry, Performing Arts College, was turning out. I had trouble with the dullards before, walking out into the road without looking and then expecting you to slam on and take evasive action. Remonstration is usually replied with a torrent of verbal abuse. Today? No, sorry son, I aint taking evasive any more and putting myself at risk on wet sloppy leaves/oncoming etc Continued straight on, only slowing enough so as to contact him as I came to a controlled top That fucking woke him up Torrent of abuse Kickstand down, off t…

The Road to Inverness One misty Scottish morning an Englishman is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four. He has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt, a tweed shirt and a tam-o'-shanter at a rakish angle. At the roadside there also stands a young women. She is absolutely beautiful - slim, shapely, fair complexion, golden hair....... heart stopping. The driver stops and stares, and his attention is only distracted from the lovely girl when the red animal opens the c…

The SAS, the Paras and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook. Night falls. First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced double-tap. They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes. "Excellent!" remarks the trainer. Next up - the Para's. They finish their cans of lager, sme…

Its Beautiful...Innit!

Well hoping that your all ok and nothing has been damaged or hurt? Driving to work this morning and i had to play tree surgion and rubbish man as the roads where covered in bin bags and trees. Some people are so stupid, they get given ample amounts of warning not to leave things out that could fly away, yet they still put rubbish bags out for the bin men to collect Any way i got the warm happy feeling that i helped a few people get to work after removing these items from the road and the cuppa tea at work tasted all the more better. Stay safe guys!

If you like Dogs you'll love this Story http://www.viralnova.com/mason-the-dog-eulogy/#WtvKoVs53IbPj77L.01

A man is in bed asleep with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??" "No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door. He goes back u…

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yes, I do," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdroppi…

The Tax Inspector At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?' 'Good question', noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.' 'Oh', replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: ' What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?' 'Ah, yes', replied the Rabbi, realizing t…

Anyone know the missing insults???? http://www.anglotopi...ritish-insults/

Honda branded dummy to spit out when it breaks down

i know those of you up'nath wont see this as a big deal, but down her 6 foot snow drift are rare as rockin horse dung. my mate who rides a divvy has a jeep today we went up onto the hills near bristol, his jeep amazed me going up icy 1:4 inclines check out these pics, iv never seen the area like this: btw im the guy covered in snow, after i dived into a snow drift!

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parents home for their first night together. in the morning Johnny, Fred's little brother gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mum if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies "no". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think? His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school". Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mum, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies "no." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mum replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After …

Ok - i watch this - only cos there is naff all else dominating prime time telly on a saturday night. Now, this is aimed at those that DO watch it - im not asking for any "i dont watch that shite" posts because they are totally irrelevant, and that will just prove that you DO watch the X Factor, you just want people to think you're tough cos ya dont *snigger* Anywhooo - Diana Vickers...... My god what is wrong with that girl? She sounds like a strangled cat!!! I cannot STAND to hear her "sing". She is THE worst contestant ever. Yet the judges are bleating about how fantastic she is cos she is "quirky". QUIRKY? If you want quirky come meet some of OUR members! One…