Yamabyss

One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out. 'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?' She replied with a snigger. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!!

parked up at macdonalds , free wifi connection coaxed me in , so after a long wait for my food and drink , (fast food indeed) i sat down powered up the laptop ,and googles your oyster so to speak. anyway to cut a long tail short, after getting lost in the world of web i drunk up and was ready to leave, when my mates showed up , so as not to appear ignorant i ordered another coffee had a good laugh , then i got my arse and elbo's together and it was pissing down , so anothe coffee and fruit bowl fingy and back on the net till it stopped, this took a total of 2hours and two minutes ,your allowable time to enjoy yourself at mcds is only 90mins. there is notices …

Just to let you all no passed my test this morning 2md time lucky very happy indeed managed to do it with no lessons! now the hunt for the new bike begins be careful in this weather take care

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/10480421/PCSO-sues-landowner-after-tripping-over-fence-investigating-break-in.html So now if you call plod and they hurt themselves ,Look up it could now prove costly !!! (i know it was a blind school,But come on a 3ft high fence)

will they or won't they?

I've signed it, but what difference it makes is anyones guess https://www.change.org/p/minister-of-transport-reduce-road-tax-on-motorcycles?

So I went to get petrol tonight as the scooter is running on red and bloody hell couldn't get any as there were hundreds of cars queueing at both petrol stations near my house... Now I have to go to work tomorrow and hope one of the petrol stations near my work has some petrol otherwise I'll be pushing the scooter home - grrr! The stupid thing is there's no need for people to buy extra petrol but the idiots going on tv telling everyone to fill up NOW when there's no strike is either complete muppetry or genius?? Either they're too stupid to realise what that'll do, or a master stroke to get everyone off thinking about granny taxes, tax cuts for the rich whilst at the …

i dont know about all use bike riders owt ther but the price of petrol is startin to go wel over the top now and the worse thing is that no1 can do anyfin about it i mean wot is it u pay tax and insure and ur m.o.t but you cant go out on our bikes asmuch because on top on your tax and insure thers petrol that is over 106 a ltr. somethin or some 1 as got to get the price down to les than £1. ino plenty of bikers that say ther bikers and have half a bike at home in bits but thay sit in the pub all day ther the bikers that arnt boverd about price of petrol coz thay dont go out and spend ther money on petrol like me coz i love goin out on my bike no mater wot n thats why its …

With all the workers in the oil industry fleeing parts of the middle east (and no-one running these desert oil fields) how long will it take for the ripples to reach our fore-courts ?

Best Moto3 race I’ve seen in years, philip island never disappoints.

The other night I was expecting an important phone call, so I slept with my mobile under the pillow. When I woke up, it was gone and there was just a shiny new fifty pence piece where I'd left it. Damn that blue-tooth fairy!

ok, who else is sick to death of international/withheld calls wasting your time asking do you want a new mobile phone or insurance from fucking India. The last poor "coont" got it big style.lol Anyway i have a withheld from public domain phone number (ex directory) to the unintiated and i keep getting these bastards ringing me up, i had the BT refuse anonymous calls for months because of this and have just stopped the service, but within 3 days...YES 3 fucking days i've had 18 of these calls, anyway what i want to know if anyone is in the know how...who is responsible for releasing my number to these bastards and who is accountable for my stress i feel …

whats with photobucket, i uploaded a picture streight out of my collection ,off my computer to put on my(our)forum . and photofucket removes it, is there anything else we can use instead of fucketbucket ,to upload our porn onto the forum , those images that were removed by them ,would have had you creaming yourselfs,..

today i was at rivington barn a large bikers meet,inside the main barn was a photo exhibition stand with photos of bikers coming over the top of the hills knees down and such like,there were three photos of me on my bike just out of intrest i asked the girl on the stand what the score was,£14.95 for an A4 print what for a photo of myself. or £3 for a copy e mailed. now i am not vain but i am tight so i asked who gave her permission to take my photo to which she replied i dont need permission. have found one of them on the internet but its imprinted across the photo copy right of the photography company. cheecky barstards.

Thought I'd share this picture for Kev's collection

Paddy goes for a Pizza, he's sat down in the restaurant and the waiter turns up with the potatoe and guinnes pizza. 'Woulda youa lika da pizza cut ina da 6 pieces or da 8 pieces.' 'Well now, you'd better be cutting it into 6, oi dont tink oi can manage 8.'

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What you guys think of this......................Comments and opinions please. The Urine test (This was written by a rig worker in the North Sea - What he says makes a lot of sense!) I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to earn that pay cheque, I work on a rig for a drilling contractor. I am required to pass a random urine test for drugs and alcohol, with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a benefits cheque because I have to pass one to earn it for them? P…

At the moment we are being plagued by sales phone calls. Most are the recorded type. I don't have a pension shortfall, I don't have a no win no fee claim and I have not had any PPI miss sold to me. Can someone please let me know why company's think that I would deal with them after having months of this type of sale technique? I am on the TPS, press 9 to remove my number and, failing that, take every opportunity to verbally abuse them. They normally put the phone down on me. I think I need a air horn! It's hard to do tele sales with blown eardrums.