Yamabyss

got sent this today brill

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She calls on little Ralphy. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.' The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.' Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?' The teacher, bl…

I'm done with this car! - MustangForums.com Reminds me of the 106ownersclub post on here a while ago and a audi one Hey guys, please help with my mods gone wrong..... - AudiForums.com loool

Wanna hear a joke about a pizza?... you wouldn't like it, it's too CHEESEY!

I'm da man wid swagger wot r u? http://www.facebook.com/o2uk?v=app_11007063052

A woman goes into her local music store looking for an old record; behind the counter is small young boy. She says: "Excuse me sonny, but do you have Jingle Bells on a 7 inch?" He says: "No, but I've got dangling balls on a 9 inch." "That's not a record is it?" "It is for a 10 year old."

WHY? Same old question. And all you will manage is a 125 that sounds like a wasp on crack. Louder pipes? Get a bigger bike. Until then, deal with teh fact that you're a learner and will sound like an insect with a volume control wherever you go. It's all part of the experience. Friday rant over.

Don't you just know how irritating mobile phone users are when they fail to exercise discretion and think the world needs to know their business? When you have enjoyed as much as you can stand, you can now get you own back!!! After a busy day he settled down in his train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his destination at Winchester, when the chap sitting near him hauled out his mobile and started up:- "Hi darling it's Peter, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's the 6.30 not the 4.30 but I had a long meeting - no, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss no darling you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart" etc., etc. …

....... like pissing yourself - everyone can see it, but only you can feel that warm, fuzzy feeling it gives you.

Loves from Turkey for all riders . I have a 1993 XT600E. I'm 38 years old. I'm married and have two kids, one boy and one girl. I like riding very much. Approx. every weekend we escape from the city and ride at the nature. I yamaha.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18840110 More nanny state intervention? Peter

A good cheap buy from Aldi, as recommended by Oldgitonabike -these are back in the store http://www.aldi.co.uk/uk/html/offers/special_buys3_18649.htm

what's the difference between maggie thatcher and edwina curry? one fu*ked major the other fu*ked the miners

Maharishi Phucknuckel’s Guide to Zen · Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just f--- off and leave me alone. § The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre. § The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it. · Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any. § Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. § Remember, no-one is listening until you …

The Italian says, "When I have a-finished makina love with my girl-a-friend, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees. She floatsa 6 inches abova da bed in ecstasy". The Frenchman replies, "Zat is nothing, when Ah 'ave finished making ze love with ze girlfriend Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick ze soles of her feet with mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy". The Irishman says, "Dat's nottin'. When Oi've finished shaggin' me bord,I get out of da bed, walk over to d'window and wipe me knob on da curtain. She hits da fockin' roof.

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE.' He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, ’From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight; and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress …

I'm sick to fucking death of Utd getting their own way every fucking game. For years on end we have seen Utd get all the decisions to go in their favour. It is spoiliong the game. They get offside goals, penalties, the players order the rewf to send opposing players off. It is pathetic. When they are losing they get extra time until they score an equaliser or/and a winner. I really fucking hate them now, they are spoiling the game. On sunday because Chelsea come back from two nil down, surprise fucking surprise, players get sent off and a clear offside goal is allowed. Torres was fouled. They are so fucking shit they need an offside goal to beat 9 men. Also the m…

Subject: Management An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleanin…

Had a family BBQ today,everythin went well,bro in law an kids came ,sis in law an kids came, everyone had a whale of of a time,no arguments,nowt, but once everyone went home I got the silent treatment, I know I did'nt upset anyone an was on me best behaviour.At the risk of upsettin our female members,WTF is goin on seems like Ican't win wotever I do,is it just me or are all women completely alien, sometimes there's just no pleasing them :evil: