Battered

My wife bent over naked the other day and asked me "Where do you want to stick it big boy?" Apparently, in your sister was the wrong answer.

What do you call a cow with a turban on? A Mooslim.

What's brown and sticky? Harvey Price eating a toffee apple.

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Elton

I told my Gran that I've got a new job where I have live sex on stage. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said "I'll ask my boss but I can't promise anything!"

Dunno if this is a repost, if it is I'm sure you'll get over it

This my FZR1000. As you can see, it's totally standard apart from braided hoses, polished frame, black screen, and some god awful shitty blue handlebar end weights. Which I removed and threw away. Oh yeah, he fitted mini inicators too. They were only push in cheapos that the previous owner fitted, so weren't actually weights as such. There's no extra vibration through the bars though, but I can now get through smaller gaps!!

Who fancies some of this?

And yet we can't ride with a black visor? Fuck the law, my black Simpson's would look gay with clear visors!! But seriously, driving with impaired vision seems to be legal if you're brainwashed and follow some barbaric religion.

1. Money cannot buy happiness but it's more comfortabl​e to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name. 3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems but then neither does milk.

LOL

Bigger main jet. In the old days we had a Ledar air corrector kit, that came with all the parts needed to run K&N or S&B filters and expansion chambers. Some bikes needed an extension tube between the carb and the filter as well, but I don't know if your bike is one of them.

Larger rear sprocket makes the bike accelerate quicker, but knocks a bit off top speed. Smaller rear sprocket has the opposite effect. Larger front sprocket makes the top speed faster, but slows the acceleration. Smaller front sprocket has the opposite effect. As for costs, well how long's a piece of string? There's too many variables, alloy sprockets or steel sprockets, O ring or X ring or non-ring chain, chain quality, they all make it impossible to tell you how much it will cost because we don't know what you want. If you run a larger rear sprocket, you'll need a longer chain than standard. The differences will be, either faster acceleration or higher top speed, depending what route you take.

Decent exhaust, stage 3 road tune not race tune(will give better top-end longevity), rejet the carb. It might be worth finding out what airbox mods are needed too, if any. Bob Farnham and Graham File are 2 other tuners you could contact.

That's handy, I managed to do this with my phone.

LOL @ Mike

I've taxed worse

That's the first time I've seen 2 pricks in 1 condom

Was the cow added on porpoise?

Or if you prefer, have a peek. LOL

Meant to post this earlier but forgot...... Anyone from here going to the Chop 'N' Rod show in Cobham this weekend? It's a two dayer, but day tickets are available for a fiver. I'm gonna go for a day, and I'm wondering if anybody fancies meeting up for a beer there. I'm not sure what day I'm going, either day is good for me though. The website is WWW.CHOPNROD.CO.UK if you fancy a peak.

Chinese bikes are cheap for a reason, they're shite.

Brilliant........but mildly annoying. LOL