Ttaskmaster

It's a defective motorcycle, utterly beyond repair and worthless..... Send it to me and I will dispose of it in the approved, legal manner.

The group already has a JustGiving page. For this, I'd expect at least a grand in sponsorship, plus more from spectators on the day. But anyway.... Mods - Dating Forum?

Awwww....... Likewise, 'cept I'm in London playing dress-up and scaring kiddies for chariddy.

I can actually hold you to that. I hope you realise..... All I have to do is blast over to Orpington, pick up Axl and I'm set. Where do you want to do this? Seriously. The good money you'll pay (along with any other spectators) will go to the NSPCC. I can get a whole bunch of Aliens along too, if you want.

Already got mine. Might even have been me who mentioned it... But yes - A definite Must Have!!!!!

Oh, you mean set up the dating forum? Well, first off I'm not a Mod, so I can't anyway. Secondly, dating agencies are supposed to be fun and welcoming, particularly to shy people who might need encouragement... I'm more like Hugh Laurie in House MD. I'd be great to police the thing and harshly judge anyone who dares piss about and make fun of serious, honest posters... but that's it. I'm the shotgun used for hunting rats. Not too appropriate when a dove feather is needed.

Eh? I should what? Give her a bell? Shut up? Fuck off and die? Dance the Macarena? Paint my Pulse Rifle in Bess Brown instead of Olive Green? Have a salad for lunch instead of the carb-heavy ham sandwich I just picked up?

Which translates to, "I'm in a metal box and I don't give a fuck". This is why I drive an APC...... I say well done, Mits. Takes good riding to avoid situations like that.

You also have BikerMatch, which is a friendly place. It costs about a fiver a month if you want the extra features, like forum and so on, but it has some very good people. I used to hang about there and chuck my malcontent, dissident opinions around.... which were always met with loving humour!!! However, I do like the idea of setting up a dating forum here.

Google is your friend!! Failing that, look at Bikez.com

I take the Bill Hicks perspective on marketing and advertising, myself. I don't care if it is free.

How nice for him. I still don't care for their fearmongering publication, though. Every week someone tells me of the latest scheme by this bike-hating government to mess with our riding. They're going to limit bikes to 20mph on the 70mph motorways, they're gonna make all bikes 30cc or less, they're gonna install remote controls.... all of which are faithfully presented in the corresponding issue of MCN, funnily enough. They do it because it sells. I just wish people thought about it first - It's a mixture of The Sun and The National Enquirer for bikers

Mine works fantastically. In fact, it's the best Motorcycle specific one on the market. Cheapest too at around £250 for the UK version (shop around online). Others have more features, but they're not as reliable and the build quality is lesser. Plus, the Tom comes with everything in the one box, Has Bluetooth and thus a built-in hands free kit etc etc. You can use a normal car one in a tankbag or something, but you won't get sound and you have to jury-rig it up. It will work and not drain the battery if it's connected to a switched live via a relay, as mentioned above.

Pah - We never wanted you in the first place - It was them foreign rulers we had that did it!! England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, Cornwall... Yeah, let them have independence. What do we care? So long as we don't get a load of foreigners (French, Danish, Welsh, Germans etc etc ) continually trying to invade the bloody country, we're happy!! So when we boot Brown and Blair back to where they came from, can they please be made an extreme example of? Ta, chaps!!

See, see!! REAL women love Cruisers!!! The Wife is also 5' 4" and she now rides a 650 Drag!!

What, MCN? As in More Crap than News?

Different standards, really. Certainly in this country you can wear (or not wear) what you like so long as it includes a properly fastened legal lid (with the exception of Trikes). Here you're generally considered a loon if you're not in full protective kit. Compare that to the culture over in, say, Thailand or Vietnam where full kit is like wearing a tuxedo to go mud-wrestling!! Personally, I've always liked full kit, but it's legally at the discretion of the rider. If you don't like the idea of a bug-toothed, bearded bikey boy, then simply don't kiss him!!

Truckers are often depicted as being mobile rapists/prostitute-murderers in common derogatory humour, in the same way Irishmen and blonde women are depicted as being utterly stupid. As always, there will be an incident of truth leading to this misrepresentitative stereotype, in which some trucker did indeed rape and/or murder one or more women who may or may not have been prostitutes. It's about as truthful as all bikers being leather clad, long haired drink & drug loving, baby-eating, granny bashing, Cruiser-riding posers... who are also (somehow) stereotyped as short-haired pretty boy power rangers, hell bent on speed and who crash and kill themselves every sunny weekend.

Nope - Back in the 70s, you Yanks exported illegal AM CB Radios to us here in Blighty. Those, along with CW McCall and Kris Kristoffersen in the movie Convoy. Later came Burt Reynolds in Smokey & The Bandit and the rest of the whole Trucker culture kinda followed.

"Yeah, because you're a fucking lippy little Foamy shit who deserves a smack in your fucking face for being so fucking rude!!!!!" That's why you get treated like a cock. Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. Dress them down and put them in their place, but do so on their own terms. Far more effective and they go away with respect for you and any future bikers they may meet. Do otherwise and they may very well become one of those c**ts who purposely nudge bikes off the road when they know they can get away with it.

That's my point... They will never have to answer for it. They will continue fucking us over until some of us actually stand up and have them removed from office. You really think an 'election' will not be fixed? You really think they will still be in this country when it goes to hell, rather than fecked off elsewhere with millions in a private bank to fall back on?

I think the Enfield Electra 500 you get over here (which I hope has correctly laid out controls) will do 87mpg!!! It has fuel injection now as well.

Just explain calmly to the fool that there's an open space which no-one else could get to anyway and anyone would have been a fool to miss the opportunity. If he doesn't like it, tell him to get a bike himself. I like being an intellectual tit sometimes - It shuts most people up when I speak as they never expect politely delivered, well-spoken, clearly ennunciated, grammatically complex sentences to spring poetically forth from betwixt the lips of a filthy, long-haired, Cruiser riding biker!!!!!

Remember the Dissolution Of The Monasteries? Henry VIII is openly razing Catholic churches to the ground, burning the (incalculably rare) papers stored within and confiscating their wealth. Supposedly this is under the pretext of retalliating against Catholic corruption, but in fact he's just nicking their good to fill his depleted treasury. Robert Aske, formerly one of Henry's Lieutenants, joins the growing mass of outraged people and leads them in a revolt against the king. In York, over 40,000 armed, angry people (the entire English army at the time was only about 7,000) march on the town and demand that the king answer for this travesty. King says he'll consider stopping this and tells them all to go home, which they happily do. He then executes Aske and carries on as before. People are apathetic fools and this will continue.

Cheap as fecking chips, mate. I run my CB off one! It's called a Hella Plug. Go to Maplins and get one of those £2 extension leads for the 12v in-car socket thingies. Pick up an automotive relay as well, while you're there. Cut the plug off, allowing as much wire as you'll need to reach stuff. Then wire it in through the relay, to a switched live and a suitable earth point on your bike. Doing it like this means it will only be on when the ignition is on. I take it you're not using the TomTom Rider, then?