Jump to content

~~Daily Feed, post what made you laugh today ~~


sniff6
 Share

Recommended Posts

Do you want an ad-free experience? Join today and help support the Yamaha Owners Club.

A little girl is with her mom in the park when they see 2 teenagers having sex on a bench.
"What are they doing?" asks the little girl,
"making cake" replies the quick thinking mom.

Later that day the pair are walking around the zoo when they see 2 monkeys having sex and again the little girl asks what the monkeys are doing, to which the mother replies "making cake".

The next day the little girl walks into the kitchen and says to her mom
"you and daddy were making cake in the lounge last night"
"how do you know?" asks the mom.
"because I licked the icing off the sofa..."

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

On Sky News this morning:

"Back in 1611, Johannes Kepler said that the most efficient way to stack spheres such as oranges and melons was in a pyramid formation.

Now, 403 years later, academics have finally confirmed that his theory is correct.

Professor Thomas Hales from the University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, thought he had cracked the problem back in 1998.

A 300-page proof was developed, which took 12 reviewers four years to check for errors.

But even then, it could only prove the theory was 99% correct.

So, in 2003, he began to create a computational tool to check the proof beyond all doubt.

Called the Flyspeck project, it uses two pieces of formal verification software. Given enough time, it can check the logic of complex mathematical theories.

This week, Prof Hales and his team announced that his 1998 proof had been scrutinised by the software, and proven correct.

He told New Scientist: "I suddenly feel 10 years younger.""

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fuck right off welshie, I just had my fuckin tea (steak, rare.......)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is that bear grylls?! Man... he's even hot with blood all over his face :eusa_drool:

note that I didn't say menstrual blood... that's disgusting!! :barf:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My more sedate humour...

Posted on a local for Sale Board

Jacket_zpsd631a56b.jpg

For Sale

Camouflage Jacket £50 ono

The guy states he has the trousers to match, but he can't find them at the minute

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are they made by the "EMPEROR" clothing company by any chance ?

Do I really have to explain this ?

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

A message from my number 1 son yesterday as he was going to Whitehaven to cycle from there to Tynemouth on a coast to Coast cycle ride (140 miles) to raise some money for charity;

"These people up north don't half talk funny. I only wanted a coffee and a cheese & ham toastie and she rambled on for 5 minutes about do I like bacon or ham?! X"

He set off on the ride early this morning and a text at 7:30 said it was tipping it down as they went to pedal off.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

i stopped myself from posting it up until now. Once Andrew posted that picture, i just had to.

You can't blame me or ask me to share the blame with you just cos you're more warped than me!!
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On Sky News this morning:

"Back in 1611, Johannes Kepler said that the most efficient way to stack spheres such as oranges and melons was in a pyramid formation.

Now, 403 years later, academics have finally confirmed that his theory is correct.

Professor Thomas Hales from the University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, thought he had cracked the problem back in 1998.

A 300-page proof was developed, which took 12 reviewers four years to check for errors.

But even then, it could only prove the theory was 99% correct.

So, in 2003, he began to create a computational tool to check the proof beyond all doubt.

Called the Flyspeck project, it uses two pieces of formal verification software. Given enough time, it can check the logic of complex mathematical theories.

This week, Prof Hales and his team announced that his 1998 proof had been scrutinised by the software, and proven correct.

He told New Scientist: "I suddenly feel 10 years younger.""

make's you wonder how we've managed :crazy:

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This picky of me won't make you laugh but it did make me smile with relief, a few hours before my neighbor took this picky of me cutting this tree down (his tree I might add) it was well over 35ft high and about 20ft wide and was overhanging two fences that a good fart would have blown down. Anyway when I was 20ft or so up a ladder trying to cut out the top three thoughts crossed my mind, firstly- FFS why am I doing this, secondly - why didn't I wear my brown underpants and thirdly- I could have gone for a ride on my bike. anyway tree is cut down, the fences are still standing and I've just got a cold one from the fridge. I've decided that I'm getting too old for this sort of thing and that is defiantly the last tree that I am going to cut down.... well I suppose there is that one in my sons front garden and I did promise.....

http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y517/cliff89/20140818_103954_zpsfb2c2408.jpg

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

may be old, but...

557777183.jpg?1334056912

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator
On 8/21/2014 at 7:38 AM, meatloaf said:

This picky of me won't make you laugh but it did make me smile with relief, a few hours before my neighbor took this picky of me cutting this tree down (his tree I might add) it was well over 35ft high and about 20ft wide and was overhanging two fences that a good fart would have blown down. Anyway when I was 20ft or so up a ladder trying to cut out the top three thoughts crossed my mind, firstly- FFS why am I doing this, secondly - why didn't I wear my brown underpants and thirdly- I could have gone for a ride on my bike. anyway tree is cut down, the fences are still standing and I've just got a cold one from the fridge. I've decided that I'm getting too old for this sort of thing and that is defiantly the last tree that I am going to cut down.... well I suppose there is that one in my sons front garden and I did promise.....

tree-mendous post :1poke:

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/21/2014 at 7:38 AM, meatloaf said:

This picky of me won't make you laugh but it did make me smile with relief, a few hours before my neighbor took this picky of me cutting this tree down (his tree I might add) it was well over 35ft high and about 20ft wide and was overhanging two fences that a good fart would have blown down. Anyway when I was 20ft or so up a ladder trying to cut out the top three thoughts crossed my mind, firstly- FFS why am I doing this, secondly - why didn't I wear my brown underpants and thirdly- I could have gone for a ride on my bike. anyway tree is cut down, the fences are still standing and I've just got a cold one from the fridge. I've decided that I'm getting too old for this sort of thing and that is defiantly the last tree that I am going to cut down.... well I suppose there is that one in my sons front garden and I did promise.....

Yer you dont want to be at logger heads with your son now, so you better not leaf it too much longer, but mind you he might twig that your not going to do it any time soon which might make him barking :eusa_whistle:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


  • Who's Online (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online
  • Recently Browsing

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...