sniff6 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Share Posted August 12, 2014 A little girl is with her mom in the park when they see 2 teenagers having sex on a bench. "What are they doing?" asks the little girl, "making cake" replies the quick thinking mom. Later that day the pair are walking around the zoo when they see 2 monkeys having sex and again the little girl asks what the monkeys are doing, to which the mother replies "making cake". The next day the little girl walks into the kitchen and says to her mom "you and daddy were making cake in the lounge last night" "how do you know?" asks the mom. "because I licked the icing off the sofa..." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewElvisFan Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 That's wrong!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator DirtyDT Posted August 13, 2014 Moderator Share Posted August 13, 2014 On Sky News this morning: "Back in 1611, Johannes Kepler said that the most efficient way to stack spheres such as oranges and melons was in a pyramid formation. Now, 403 years later, academics have finally confirmed that his theory is correct. Professor Thomas Hales from the University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, thought he had cracked the problem back in 1998. A 300-page proof was developed, which took 12 reviewers four years to check for errors. But even then, it could only prove the theory was 99% correct. So, in 2003, he began to create a computational tool to check the proof beyond all doubt. Called the Flyspeck project, it uses two pieces of formal verification software. Given enough time, it can check the logic of complex mathematical theories. This week, Prof Hales and his team announced that his 1998 proof had been scrutinised by the software, and proven correct. He told New Scientist: "I suddenly feel 10 years younger."" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Fuck right off welshie, I just had my fuckin tea (steak, rare.......) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewElvisFan Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Love it, stealing it!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sacha Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Is that bear grylls?! Man... he's even hot with blood all over his face note that I didn't say menstrual blood... that's disgusting!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wild foamy Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Oh hush, just adds to the taste. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sacha Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshwan Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 i stopped myself from posting it up until now. Once Andrew posted that picture, i just had to. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 My more sedate humour... Posted on a local for Sale Board For Sale Camouflage Jacket £50 ono The guy states he has the trousers to match, but he can't find them at the minute 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slice Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Are they made by the "EMPEROR" clothing company by any chance ? Do I really have to explain this ? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator DirtyDT Posted August 14, 2014 Moderator Share Posted August 14, 2014 A message from my number 1 son yesterday as he was going to Whitehaven to cycle from there to Tynemouth on a coast to Coast cycle ride (140 miles) to raise some money for charity; "These people up north don't half talk funny. I only wanted a coffee and a cheese & ham toastie and she rambled on for 5 minutes about do I like bacon or ham?! X" He set off on the ride early this morning and a text at 7:30 said it was tipping it down as they went to pedal off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewElvisFan Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 i stopped myself from posting it up until now. Once Andrew posted that picture, i just had to. You can't blame me or ask me to share the blame with you just cos you're more warped than me!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy xs Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 On Sky News this morning: "Back in 1611, Johannes Kepler said that the most efficient way to stack spheres such as oranges and melons was in a pyramid formation. Now, 403 years later, academics have finally confirmed that his theory is correct. Professor Thomas Hales from the University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, thought he had cracked the problem back in 1998. A 300-page proof was developed, which took 12 reviewers four years to check for errors. But even then, it could only prove the theory was 99% correct. So, in 2003, he began to create a computational tool to check the proof beyond all doubt. Called the Flyspeck project, it uses two pieces of formal verification software. Given enough time, it can check the logic of complex mathematical theories. This week, Prof Hales and his team announced that his 1998 proof had been scrutinised by the software, and proven correct. He told New Scientist: "I suddenly feel 10 years younger."" make's you wonder how we've managed 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meatloaf Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 This picky of me won't make you laugh but it did make me smile with relief, a few hours before my neighbor took this picky of me cutting this tree down (his tree I might add) it was well over 35ft high and about 20ft wide and was overhanging two fences that a good fart would have blown down. Anyway when I was 20ft or so up a ladder trying to cut out the top three thoughts crossed my mind, firstly- FFS why am I doing this, secondly - why didn't I wear my brown underpants and thirdly- I could have gone for a ride on my bike. anyway tree is cut down, the fences are still standing and I've just got a cold one from the fridge. I've decided that I'm getting too old for this sort of thing and that is defiantly the last tree that I am going to cut down.... well I suppose there is that one in my sons front garden and I did promise..... http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y517/cliff89/20140818_103954_zpsfb2c2408.jpg 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sacha Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 may be old, but... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator drewpy Posted August 21, 2014 Moderator Share Posted August 21, 2014 On 8/21/2014 at 7:38 AM, meatloaf said: This picky of me won't make you laugh but it did make me smile with relief, a few hours before my neighbor took this picky of me cutting this tree down (his tree I might add) it was well over 35ft high and about 20ft wide and was overhanging two fences that a good fart would have blown down. Anyway when I was 20ft or so up a ladder trying to cut out the top three thoughts crossed my mind, firstly- FFS why am I doing this, secondly - why didn't I wear my brown underpants and thirdly- I could have gone for a ride on my bike. anyway tree is cut down, the fences are still standing and I've just got a cold one from the fridge. I've decided that I'm getting too old for this sort of thing and that is defiantly the last tree that I am going to cut down.... well I suppose there is that one in my sons front garden and I did promise..... tree-mendous post 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noise Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 On 8/21/2014 at 7:38 AM, meatloaf said: This picky of me won't make you laugh but it did make me smile with relief, a few hours before my neighbor took this picky of me cutting this tree down (his tree I might add) it was well over 35ft high and about 20ft wide and was overhanging two fences that a good fart would have blown down. Anyway when I was 20ft or so up a ladder trying to cut out the top three thoughts crossed my mind, firstly- FFS why am I doing this, secondly - why didn't I wear my brown underpants and thirdly- I could have gone for a ride on my bike. anyway tree is cut down, the fences are still standing and I've just got a cold one from the fridge. I've decided that I'm getting too old for this sort of thing and that is defiantly the last tree that I am going to cut down.... well I suppose there is that one in my sons front garden and I did promise..... Yer you dont want to be at logger heads with your son now, so you better not leaf it too much longer, but mind you he might twig that your not going to do it any time soon which might make him barking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 don't worry, we'll all be rooting for you 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wild foamy Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 This is cringeworthy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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