Captain Starfire

After some thought, I came to the following idea: Take one RD350LD PVS engine and add two cylinders driven off the main crank. The two new cylinders pump fuel/air mixture in perfect synchronicity with the original pistons and so act as a powerhouse supercharger. The powerband would be similar to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the noise would be pretty damn impressive. Now, what sort of chassis to put it in? Note: The author of this article wishes to styate that anyone daft enough to try out the ideass contained therein do so at their own risk. I don't have enough loot to be worth sueing if you get hurt trying, so there.

A super Bloop. I'll get me coat.

Ripper!

Indians had left hand twistgrips, that may have been something to do with it. Cripsey's Wall of death (with 1925ish Indians) is still going in UK, though I don't know who owns it now. Saw it a few years ago - the sort of thing everyone should see at least once in their sweet life. That globe is AWESOME!

Now come on. I couldn't complain if a car swapped lanes without looking or signalling and hit me if I was filtering. I couldn't complain if a car swapped lanes without looking and signalling and hit me if I was overtaking on the blind side. But when a car swaps lanes without lookng and signalling and hits me WHEN I'M BLEEDING WELL STATIONARY AT TRAFFIC LIGHTS I feel I have a right to grump a little. No damage to the TRX, and chummy coughed straight away as well he might with me hopping round where I'd hit my funnybone swearing Blue Fire. (I hadn't heard language that obscene since the vicar tripped over our cat). There is some justice: The impact put a nice dent in his shiny new motor car. If only I had seen it comig and thrown the Yamaha onto its side - I could have got a brand new bike out of his insurance company. Blast! Blast! Blast! Still, you've got ter laugh, as Adolf Hitler said just before he shot hisself.

Fave stunt team? Got to be The Purple Helmets!!!!

Happy 21st - key of the door an' all that. Have a ripper of a Saturday night.

For the cheapskates amoung us, why not try re-cycled chip fat?

Which prompts me to ask..... Is "The World's Fastest Indian" out in the UK this week? Ahhhh, old age pensioner gets bike he bought as a teenager out of he garden shed, changes its spark plugs, pumps up the tyres and breaks the World Speed Record on it. MY sort of story. And it's a true story about some NZedder called Burt Munroe. At last I have something to do when I retire...........

Anyone think whether Tino could become only he second man ever to be both 500 and F1 champion? F1 is so specialised these days and their gain would be Moto GPs loss. Here's a good one for starting an argument - who is better (listing in reverse date order) Rossi, Doohan, Agostini, Hailwood, Duke or Woods? I'm off to the pub.

1.8 petrol Mondeo? You should try the 130 horse coal burner. Now that is an old man's car (I should know, I've just bought one and I'm old enough). Still, it has a good way to deter tailgaters - just floor the throttle and leave a cloud of dark, stinking smoke on their windscreens. Almost as good as flicking the kill switch on a big callibre twin.

Tralala. It was a wonderful Tuesday with a thirty mile blind to get to work. HAH! I had reckoned without the road surface. Leaving aside the wonderful tyre squirming sensation of salt on damp roads that is the joy of British winter biking, about five of the miles on the run in were covered in a diesel slick. I think fuel is too cheap; it must be if so many people throw it away. Just got me a diesel car to shift the family round..... think I'll drill a hole in the bottom of the fuel tank. No-one will notice round here.

So my mate, being short of leg*, a custom fanatic and the knd of person who never learns by experience, has bought yet another Baby Viagra (K reg, low mileage). Being the nervous type, he is already talking about completely dismantling the thng to cure a miniscule oil weep from the clutch actuator rod. "Good grief, man!" I told him, "My TRX's chain drips more oil than that." I must admit he looked a fine sight thundering the mighty Vee-twin back from the vendor's house, wallowing majestically round curves on tyres that turned out to be inflated to a piffling 20 PSI. No sooner had he got it to his garage than he began wittering on about having to replace some of the bits that aren't shiny any more. "God will provide" I told him. And God did. Two days later, a mutual acquaintance was SMIDSYd off his (pristine condition) Baby Viagra. He was unhurt, but the insurance company, doncha luvvem, wrote the thing off for £150, so an investment will be made. This weekend, oi sharl be mostly dismantling a Yamaha. I like it when a plan comes together. *"Five Feet One and conquerer of Italy - not bad,huh?" (N Bonaparte, Battle of Castiglione, 1796).

Of course, some of us remember steam traines. Eeee, when I were a lad....

S'pose I'd best start posting...... Old, leathers in "Fat Bastard" size, all year round rider (have y'seen the triffic traffic round the North Bristol rim?) and the slowest on a track day. Also, compiler of a biker's slang dictionary many years back. No, I don't want to get it up to date - it was too much like hard work. Started biking on a BSA (that dates me) Quite a few bikes since. 1994 was my first lon termer, a Honda XBR 500 single - ace machine, got taken out in 2001 by a Fiat who drove into me (SMIDSY). Kicked the front wing off the Fiat, though. Bought the TRX 850 in 99 cos it was so cheap, never regretted it. Biking story? Wee-el, I could bore you stiff with the tale of how I slung the poor old grid across Bridgewater Industrial estate roundabout whilst on a police safety course (I can recommend those, BTW) in front of a load of Laughing Policeman, but you probably don't want to see me get embarrassed by that...... think I'll just add to the moans about winter riding. Ahh! The joys of winter riding.... the cold, lorries kicking up shit in yer face, the dark, the rain, the cold, the ice moustaches... but oh the joys of guffawing at cages stuck in traffic! Roll on summer.

New to the folder, and just saying "Hello". P.S. I'm an old dinosaur where wiggley electrickery computators are concerned, so apologies in advance if I step out of line.