Yamabyss

You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan. There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you may appreciate the following letter from John McCain that the staff at the mental facility, treating Hinckley, reports to have intercepted this past weekend: To: John Hinckley From: John McCain My wife and I wanted to drop you a sho…

Hi everyone. just wondering, how far is it (avoiding motorways and dual carriageways) is it from John O'groats to lands end? and where can i get a decent set of road tyres? (3.00/18" and 2.75/21") - Steve

This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish. "Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there ?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana ?" The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch …

I phoned my bird to tell her I was coming on my bike. She told me to get in the house and use the bathroom.

Bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. 'I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits' he says. 'You dirty bastard!' shouts the barmaid, 'get out before I get my husband.' The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. 'I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off.' She says, 'You dirty filthy pervert! You're banned. Get out!!' Again, the bloke apologizes and swears never ever to do it again. 'One more chance,' says the barmaid, 'Now - what do you want?' 'I want to tu…

My mate has been drinking brake fluid, I asked him if he was addicted? he said no he could stop anytime!

Ardon put this on Aleks so heres the URL of Ardon and the lads having a laff! Right click save target as is ur best bet! http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gavin.prior/duckbomb1.WMV http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gavin.prior/duckbomb2.WMV I think its funny to see the ducks shitting themselves!!! Joke: In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to …

A girl was helping her boyfriend set up his PC and he wanted to log in with a password. Now, you have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he keys in "[willy]". His girlfriend nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard when the computer replied...: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent…

Those who frequent the RD forums will know who this is aimed at ( Lardon) An Australian, an Irishman and a Cumbrian are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: "My God, it's Jesus!" Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of t…

Cardiff Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of Gorilla. > > Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to > handle. > > Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. > > The gorilla was on heat. > > To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla of the species available. > > While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Gareth, a big > Welsh lad from Swansea, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. > > Gareth, like most Swansea boys, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed > with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY speci…

I sat there with a smile on my face as my girlfriend wrapped her hand around it and started to tug at it. An even bigger smile when she gave it a little wiggle and started moving it around. I couldn't contain myself when she started using two hands, so I eventually laughed out: "Here love, I'll change gear for you". --------------------------------------------------------- Andy Murray is to be sponsored by 'Pritt Stick'. Great on paper. sh*t on any other surface --------------------------------------------------------- I came home from work and my wife said, "I washed your England shirt for you today." I said, "What England shirt?" She said, "The red on…

A Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. They all have a stutter. "Th th th th three pi pi pi..........." says the Welshman. Up steps the Irishman. "Three p pints of of of of gui gui gui.." Then the Scotsman tries. "Th th th th th th th................." "Oh sod this !" says the beautiful landlady and walks away to serve someone else. She returns ten minutes later and asks if they are ready to order yet. "Th th th th three pi pi pi pi", stutters the Welshman. "Three pints of gui gui gui gui........." tries Paddy. And then Scotty starts "Th th th th th th th...........". "Look" says the beautiful landlady, "who loves a bet?" "If any one of you can tel…

essential to while away precious life, bringing you ever closer to the grim reapers blade

I'm thinking that us bike fans are of the majority 'out-doors-types', you see more from under a lid than you do in a cage, you smell it too pine and honeysuckle, gorse and cornflower, what am I TOKNABOOT ? here's a translation, click on the 'view full screen'

I rang up to get some tyres last Monday, like 5 working days ago in this fair land of ours. A place where you can get something from Motherwell to Margate in less than a day. Amazon can deliver in hours. My whinge, the Michelin Power 2ct tyres I rang up to order to be ready today, nobody decided to ring and tell me the rear tyre is on back order from Michelin, its so popular they apparently can't make em fast enough (yeah right). Its going to be a week Monday and could be longer before I can get tyres on my prilla wheels. You would think someone would have phoned me. Apparently they are going to request it directly from Michelin by way of sorry so I could have …

When I go, I want this, but not for a long time yet!!!!

Saw this the other day and thought that laughter makes the world look better. https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5

I remember when I use to do 10-12k miles with a pair of tyres. now, i`m lucky if I do 5500 during the winter and 5000 in the good weather.

It's a 1978 xs 400 that I just bought off craigslist for 450$. Seemed too good to resist. Also my dad had bought one of these brand new in 1980. It's going to need the carbuerators rebuilt, and the kickstart was put on wrong by the last person. But it does start easily with the electric start and idles with no odd noises. Just thought I'd share.

Been busy this week and after buying an NOS engine case from XS360's estate ( god bless him) I have now rebuilt the engine. it just needs timing and the wifes help in shoe horning it into the frame( she does have her uses)