Mallory1

Stabilisers ..... My wife swears by them

My 99 fazer sounds roughly like a meteorite hitting earth when going into 1st or 2nd gear. Any mechanic or petrol head I've spoken to about this tells me its a yam thing as iandouglas says above

Good thread, but I'm going to completely ignore it with a technical question. I like to carry my spanner on the bike .... Where should I put it?

A woman's mind working ..... Now that really made me laugh

Noise, I'm suspecting that no-one is appreciating your existential post!! Can I add this one ..... Is it EVER ok to fancy (until it dawns on you) a ladyboy?!! DISCLAIMER ... I AM NOT SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE I note you're also a student of the martial arts ... Good man (ju jitsu is my game) .... So, here's one more .... Why is it that even though I KNOW "I could do any of that" when watching UFC, I manage to get my melt kicked in each week by 17 year olds with clearly consume about 7 calories a week

This threads moving faster than my bike ......

I'm sure that was a typo Noise ...... No doubt you meant 53.

1 of my 4 hamsters is a 13 yr old girl. How touching to see them still fall asleep with a cuddly toy ... Brings a lump to ones throat. Well done that Dad. Time well invested. Some useful advice .... 10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early” Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: - Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. - Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. - Places where there is darkness. - Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. - Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. - Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. - Hockey games are okay. - Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

As Sir Cliff would often say ..... Congratulations, la de da, and jubi......... Oh forget it, awful song. Keep 'er lit for mod 3.

Thanks folks...... Experienced, not grumpy. Get it. As for eating the belly button fluff .....Noise, I've never met your wife but strangely I have the deepest sympathy for her .... Or admiration. I can't decide !!

As Arnie once put it, I'm back .... Although minus the bad haircut and dodgy accent. Haven't posted in ages but glad to see the sites still here --- so 3 cheers to all of you who still take the time to make it happen. Thankless job no doubt, you have my admiration. As I approach the age of a living fossil, aka 40, I have found myself pondering some of life's big questions. Why are we here? When will I die? What exactly does blue belly button fluff do? Just wondering if any of you have life insurance which gives a particularly good deal to bikers ... seeing as we have the unenviable honour of being most likely to meet our Maker while thinking "where the hell did he come from?" I'm keen to start a policy before I hit the 4th decade of my life and properly join the grumpy old men brigade. Youth of today, eh? In my day ........... Rant, rant, rant.

Haven't posted since last year and I'm starting back with a question. So, apologies! I hope everyone is well and enjoying the biting winds, torrential rain, and occasional snowfall of .... Ahem, Spring. Friggin British weather. I digress. Got my fazer 600 back from its service. Tootling along nicely through morning traffic. Spot a gap in the fast lane of the motorway. Aye, aye, says me. Carbs were cleaned during the service. Lets open her up a little before BMW man puts down his latte and tries to compensate for his small...ego. I twist the throttle and commit to the manoeuvre. Now, either my bike is accelerating poorly or I didn't notice my bungee cord was caught on the front door when I left the house. The bike is accelerating but sluggishly. I gently encourage the bike from inside my helmet that moving forward quicker would be appreciated before BMW man gets his first decent thrill of the day. Few seconds pass. The bike then decides that it's had is fun and accelerates nicely. This now happens about 2 or 3 times a day. Sometimes accelerating away from lights. Other times while lane changing at speed. (Always when BMW prats want to race). Carbs? Fuel pump? Anyone with experience of this & suggestions would be v welcome. Cheers.

Cheers Paul ..... 100% eh? No pressure then!!! Just waiting for a date of the waiting list.

Anyone clock the biker vid on the aol site this week? Perfect example of the obvious power bikes have to convince other drivers they are Stevie wonder ...... Minus the singing ability.

The wooly hat did it for me ! Read yer post and was suitably impressed (cheers for posting). Have signed up for the next one with the boys of the PSNI !

That said - what a brave wee fella.

I worked briefly in paediatrics. This looks like packing in his nasal sinus after surgery. You'd be amazed at how big that gap can be behind your nose! My wee wifey has a petite little nose but has a massive nasal cavity. And no jokes please!

Hi folks, I'm thinking about getting hard panniers for my commuting fazer. Trouble is, she's a 99 model and I'm having real problems finding a wingrack that suits. I already have a givi top box mounted on the usual plate along with monorack arms but I'm thinking I will need to remove those to use the wingrack for any panniers. Any ideas?? I've been using soft panniers and they're alright but a pain in the backside when it comes to security. Cheers .......

After the 3rd stall the owner really should have guessed .......... Gutted!

I want one !

Had one of those near death experiences today ... You know, moving towards the light ...... No. Wait. It was only the sun and some clouds. Imagine. And in July too.......

Lol! As a married man myself with 4 hamsters to feed as well - all the best for the day and the future. Although say goodbye to your wallet - you will never see anything in there that really belongs to you ever again ......

Spoken like a true biker!

Don't friggin talk to me! Clothing? Needed a friggin snorkel and those stupid orange inflatable arm bands I wore as a kid today. It has rained solidly from 5 am and still going strong at 7 pm. Still - gave ma a good excuse to buy some new clothing today - just in case I come off my bike as ttaskmaster passes by!

Nathan - welcome. Ridin on a sunny day - hard to beat eh? Come to think of it ..... Riding on any days a good one !