I sat there with a smile on my face as my girlfriend wrapped her hand around it and started to tug at it. An even bigger smile when she gave it a little wiggle and started moving it around. I couldn't contain myself when she started using two hands, so I eventually laughed out:
"Here love, I'll change gear for you".
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Andy Murray is to be sponsored by 'Pritt Stick'.
Great on paper. sh*t on any other surface
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I came home from work and my wife said, "I washed your England shirt for you today."
I said, "What England shirt?"
She said, "The red one that was in the frame on the wall. Whoever Bobby Moore is, tell him to stop drawing all over your clothes."
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My wife told me that she's getting fed up of my boring facts.
"I find them very interesting," I said.
"Well, who gives a flying f**k?" She said angrily.
"Dragonflies," I replied.
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I've just been hacking into Sony.
My PS3 kept crashing so I put my f**king axe through it.
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I see Sting is fronting the new campaign to de-criminalise the possession of drugs...
Strange really, you'd think he'd want to see more people with police records.
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I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!'
I thought, "That's just spam."
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Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer?
Max Factor should make condoms.