mervin

The Road to Inverness One misty Scottish morning an Englishman is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four. He has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt, a tweed shirt and a tam-o'-shanter at a rakish angle. At the roadside there also stands a young women. She is absolutely beautiful - slim, shapely, fair complexion, golden hair....... heart stopping. The driver stops and stares, and his attention is only distracted from the lovely girl when the red animal opens the car door and drags him from his seat onto the road with a fist resembling a whole raw ham. "Right, you, Jimmy" he shouts, "Ah want ye to masturbate", "But......" stammers the driver. "Dae it noo...or I'll bluddy kill ye!" So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl, this doesn't take him long. "Right" snarls the highlander "Dae it again!" "But....." says the driver. "Now!" So the driver does it again. "Right laddie, dae it again, faster this time..." demands the highlander. This goes on for an hour. The hapless driver gets cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, has violent knob-ache, his sight is failing (as promised for years by his priest) and, despite the cold wind, has collapsed in a sweating, gibbering heap on the ground, unable to stand. "Dae it again" says the highlander. "I can't do it anymore - you'll just have to kill me", whimpers the man. The highlander looks down at the pathetic soul slumped on the roadside. "All right, laddie," he says, "NOW ye can gie ma daughter a lift to Inverness".

Be mean with it, spread it around with a brush, if yuo just spray it on liberally you will see most of it on the floor in about 10 minutes, for awkward places spray a little into the lid and paint it on

OK so long as Kate is locked in with me !!!!

Kate Middleton is an anagram of Naked tit model

A local guy has got Claudio from the long way downs GS, he loves telling everyone how he bought and has not cleaned it so it still has the original long way down mud and dust on it , anddoes not take it out in the rain in case the mud and dust gets washed off anyhow there was a MAG show in Ilfracombe today, he was there , at the prize giving he got, wait for it, the prize for Best RAT bike

http://www.axminster.co.uk/axminster-axminster-letter-and-number-punches-prod22576/ :idea:

No one is totally useless they can be used as a bad example

Applying Banking Rules Nick Clegg walked into a branch of HSBC to cash a cheque. As he approached the cashier he said "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me"? Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir. Could you please show me your ID?" Clegg: "Well I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister!" Cashier: "I’m sorry, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc. I must insist on proof of identity." Clegg: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am." Cashier: "I am sorry Deputy Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them." Clegg: "I need this cheque cashed." Cashier: "Perhaps there’s another way: One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Colin Montgomery and cashed his cheque. Another time, Andy Murray came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his cheque. So sir, what can you do to prove that you, and only you, are the Deputy Prime Minister?" Clegg stood there thinking and finally said: "Honestly, I can't think of a single thing I'm good at." Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes, Deputy Prime Minister?"

Vegetarian , old indian (native american) word for very poor hunter

old technology the RD,s/XS,s had that in 76

Of shit that was a mistake he is going power mad, :eusa_shifty:

the only RD owners club to belong to is, we have the aforementioned Paul Dawkins DVLA approved dating officer to issue dating certificates, and if you just put the frame/engone number up on the under 200cc section you will get a quick response telling you the age Merv

A yamaha dealer ? http://yambits.co.uk/parts_by_bike_xv_virago.php

Guys i have just seen Kishan had an accident yesterday on his scooter, a car did a U turn while indicating left in front of him , Heis suffering a badly bruised wrist and arm , and a damged bike , but is otherwise ok i believe , I a sure you will join me in wishing him a speedy recovery and hope he will be back on the road again soon

Actually i know of 2 brothers , (1 work for one of em now and the other is an old drinking partner) they both had new escort vans a few years back , one washed ,polished , and loved his to bits washing underneath every week etc, the other just hosed the bodywork on his down and left it to that left mud caked underneath and it actualy lasted longer because the thick layer of mud stopped the wet getting to the metal

Yup I agree with all that Cynic says there, do not skimp on tyres they are your contact with the road. from personal experience with my son sliding of his fizzy and nearly ending up under a bloody knighstbridge tractor on cheap chinese tyres , the fitting michelins to the bike at only £5 per tyre more but it transformed the wet and dry grip by an incredible amount

Shot in France the van reg is Aquitaine in the Dordogne

TBH i dont have a clue about em , I nealry bought one once but was too slow it was sold before i got back from a trip to europe in the truck, but there is a manual to download on this link http://www.carlsalter.com/download.asp?p=1363

That is foamys own design, shirts come without logo on back if ya read it , or your own logo i reckon

Nice one Jimmy

Get yourself a manual and have a little read mate

I use ACF 50 , it runs off like water, be mean with it spray a little on and spread it with a brush. you wil only find it on the floor 10 minutes later otherwise, for tricky bits like around brakes etc spray a little into the lid and use a 3/4" brush to apply it

https://www.mikesxs.net/products-35.html#products

New original yamaha ones are made in unobtanium I am afraid part number is 2r8-82310-50 these are good http://www.ebay.co.u...tem53ee00b860 or you can find a secondhand one, the LC ones fit to, not sure about YPVS though