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Petkeeping with Marc Morrone (AKA Pets Get Hurt)

Many animals were harmed during the making of this program.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=869_1348986430

urm... :icon_neutral:

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Was there a little boy dancing in that video? all i sore was a lot of cheer leaders! :wank4az:

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282877_402277836515873_30684137_n.jpg

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a
beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the
big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched up his gun belt, and said, "I do,
why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd
like
to know that your horse is about dead out there!" The Lone Ranger and
Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat
exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got water for the horse, and soon Silver
was
starting to
feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run
around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him
feel
better.

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe", and took off running in circles around
Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned
to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy
struts
into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him
this time?"
The cowboy looks him in the eye and says . .

I JUST LOVE THIS . .


Nothin', but you left your Injun running".

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto was surrounded by Apaches with full war paint on ready to move in for the kill.

"well Tonto, we've been together through thick and thin, now it looks like we'll die together"

Tonto replied.

"What you mean "we" white man"

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Got this one from a friend... May have been posted before, but cracked me up.

Went out last night and got really wasted... woke up next to a fat bird who was snoring and farting. At least I got home OK!!

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Wow Sacha, and what did your auld man say when you went home :whistle:

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Hmmm

photo-144.gif

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went to leave, but some dick blocked me in...

7TDeK.jpg

cock-blocked :biglaugha:

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some things only women can do...

tumblr_mc7u1qk3En1qd26swo1_500.jpg

um, ya.

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I just went to the fridge and found some salad dressing with expiry date of 21/12/2012

.

.

.

.

I think it's Mayanaise

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Wow Sacha, and what did your auld man say when you went home :whistle:

LMAO! This one is probably closer to the truth for me...

The other night I was invited out with the "girls".

I told my husband that I would be home by MIDNIGHT, I "promised". Well, the hours passed by and the margaritas went down way to easy.

Around 3 a.m, very drunk I headed home just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!

The next morning my husband asked what time I got in, I told him "midnight"...

He didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said "we need a new cuckoo clock". When I asked why, he said, "we'll, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said "oh shit" cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 more times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted!!!!!

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Haha, the prefect crime :P.

Whats the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?, the pricks are on the outside of a porcupine...

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