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A man went into a Birmingham supermarket and tried to buy half a cauliflower. The young greens produce assistant told him that they sold only whole cauliflowers. The man persisted, and asked to see the manager, and the boy went to find him.



Walking into the stock room, the boy said to his manager, "Some idiot out there wants to buy half a cauliflower." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the customer standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people here who think on their feet. Where are you from, son?"


"Cardiff, sir," the boy replied.


"Why did you leave Cardiff ?" the manager asked.



The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing there but prostitutes and rugby players."


"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Cardiff."
"You're kidding?" replied the boy.
“What position did she play?"

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Where's the slippery floor sign????

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Yeah I'll chip in looks like they need a hand up. FFS!!!!

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Can anyone here spare a couple of bob for this poor unfortunate pair.....Please.

clicky here

after reading the first two paragraphs I had to scroll up to check the web address to see if this was meant to be a joke... Not sure where the boundary between real news and satire is anymore. '£8000 debt on 0% interest credit cards + 1 year to pay it off? - 190k Salary?' GTFOOH

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Borrowed from another site.

Here’s one for you clever lads !!!!
>
>
> The Movie Test
>
>
>
> This is pretty amazing.    Mine turned out to be  ‘ Raiders of the Lost Ark'.
>
> I was surprised how this worked.    Be honest and don't look at the movie list till you have done the math !
>
> Try this test and find out what movie is your favourite. This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 films you would enjoy the most.
>
> Don 't ask me how, but it really works!
>
> Movie Test:
>
> Pick a number from 1 - 9.
>
> Multiply by  3.
>
> Add  3.
>
> Multiply by  3 again.
>
>
> Now add the two digits together to find your predicted favourite movie in the list of 18 movies below.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Movie List:
>
> 1. Gone With The Wind
> 2. E.T.
> 3. Beverly Hills Cop
> 4. Star Wars
> 5. Forrest Gump
> 6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
> 7. Jaws
> 8. Grease
> 9. The Joy of Anal Sex With A Sheep
> 10. Casablanca
> 11. Jurassic Park
> 12. Shrek
> 13. Pirates of the Caribbean
> 14. Titanic
> 15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark
> 16. Home Alone
> 17. Mrs Doubtfire
> 18. Toy Story
>
> Isn’t that something....?
>
>
>
 
 

DON CHERRY, Canadian Hockey Commentator for CBC Television, was asked on a local live radio talk show, what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.
 
 
HIS STATEMENT:

"If hooking up one rag head terrorist prisoner's testicles to a car battery to get the truth out of the lying little camel shagger will save just one Canadian or American life, then I have only three things to say: 'Red is positive, black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet."
 

Edited by slice
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Strange how whatever combination you do they all add up to 9

Can anyone here spare a couple of bob for this poor unfortunate pair.....Please.

clicky here

Twats

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A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' 



The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!  Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.  Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.  We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other.  There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.  As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:  


Scroll down...You'll love this .....  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  



baby.thumb.gif.766a17b1dd3c06d8ecbfdc25e


'You got Male

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You have to ask! She/he was looking RIGHT AT the other driver and still didn't brake or swerve, some people shouldn't drive a milk float let alone a car? 

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Yeah but just before it (he/she) looks at the other vehicle, it was looking down at something...

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