April 11, 20159 yr AHAHAHAHA LMFAO I highly doubt a couple of these but a couple cracked me up.http://www.cosmo.ph/sex-relationships/dating-tips/11-things-guys-secretly-do-with-their-penises You worry me Sacha. I thought that you were a prim and proper lady.
April 26, 20159 yr Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Well mouthwash after is just proper head-iquette... guy or gal.
April 26, 20159 yr Ha ha you mean you've never pissed in the wind Sacha Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
April 28, 20159 yr Finding out the name of the German minister of education and research. Yes, I did google it!
May 1, 20159 yr Nearly shagged a Ladyboy last night. Picked him up in a night club. He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement! That's when I thought -Hang on just a minute! ***************************** I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him. I shouted - Where you off to Charlie? He said, I'm off to change a light bulb. Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said, - That's gonna be a bit awkward init? - Not really. he said. I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard. ***************************** I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster. ***************************** The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. **************************** Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. "Occupation? "No, just here for a few days." ****************************** As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from inside screams :"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done" ****************************** I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it. ****************************** After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on. ****************************** I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30. ******************************* "Jesus Loves You." Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison. **************************** Got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in. *****************************
May 3, 20159 yr Author Man Found Dead in the Arms of His Lover, a Scarecrow in a Wig http://gawker.com/man-found-dead-in-the-arms-of-his-lover-a-scarecrow-in-1695531601 Probably not safe for work or Farmers....
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