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Posted

I was in a shop on Sunday and noticed that they had a sign in the window for a weekend staff member vacancy. When we were in there a member of staff was talking to other staff about a call he had just had about the job. The bloke asked the person interested what days they could work. The person answered "I can't work Saturdays". Seeing it was a weekend job it doesn't leave much to play with. This is true and happened last Sunday!

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Daily Mail readers - Letter writing timesaver of the year!

MS2000keybd.jpg

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  • Moderator
Posted

Daily Mail readers - Letter writing timesaver of the year!

MS2000keybd.jpg

Can you get these with only 2 buttons? I didn't like Thatcher at all.

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The Doctor said: "The good news is I can cure your headaches...The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was headache free for the first time in over 20 years, but he felt as if he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street he realized he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit.

"The elderly salesman eyed him quickly and said, "Let's see, you're a size 44 long."Joe laughed and said, "That's right, how did you know?""Been in the business 60 years!"Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the tailor asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure.""Let's see, 16 and a half neck, 34 sleeve."Joe was surprised. "How did you know?""Been in the business 60 years." The shirt fit perfectly.As Joe looked at himself in the mirror, the salesman said, "You could use new shoes."Since Joe was on a roll, he said, "Sure."The man eyed Joe's feet and said, "9-1/2E."Joe was astonished. "That's right. How did you know?""Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shoes and they also fit perfectly.As Joe walked comfortably around the shop, the salesman asked, "How about new underwear?"Joe thought for a second and said, "Why not."The man stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see, size 36."Joe laughed. "Finally I've got you! I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old."The tailor shook his head. "You can't wear a size 32. Size 32 underwear would press your testicles against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

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Posted

I've been offered eight legs of venison for £100! can anyone tell me if this is too deer :eusa_doh:

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I've been offered eight legs of venison for £100! can anyone tell me if this is too deer :eusa_doh:

Depends - if it's a muntjac then it is a little deer!
  • Moderator
Posted

Depends - if it's a muntjac then it is a little deer!

Or if it is 90 years of age, then it is an old dear.
Posted

LOL

Funny, I'm sure most of those gals still look good nekked.

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Or if it is 90 years of age, then it is an old dear.

Oh dear!
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got to love the music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS3PIDgnTNQ&feature=player_detailpage

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/JS3PIDgnTNQ?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

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a5etyjuv.jpg
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Yeah Katie it's called a "CORSET" and no self-respecting red-neck would be seen dead in one !! :crylaugh:

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Feel free to post a pic if you do order one though katie...

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