Moderator mervin Posted August 5, 2012 Moderator Share Posted August 5, 2012 First sailing results are in. Great Britain have taken gold, the USA have taken silver and Somalia have taken a middle-aged couple from Weymouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jont Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 First week of the Olympics and the Romanians have taken gold, silver, bronze, copper, lead, and anything else they can get their f**kin' hands on........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted August 5, 2012 Moderator Share Posted August 5, 2012 Just seen the Greek Squad taking their two bronze medals into Cash Converters... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted August 7, 2012 Moderator Share Posted August 7, 2012 A young girl started work in the village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public. The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own. She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives. "Look," he said. "My regular customers don’t ask for condoms, they'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320[medium] or a 330[large]. The word condom won’t even be used. The first day was fine but on the second day a black guy came in to the shop, put out his hand and said "350". The girl panicked. She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her predicament. "Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs" her boss told her. She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs. "Yes!" she said " He's got one hanging there!" The boss said "Go back in and give him £3.50, he's the window cleaner!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator drewpy Posted September 9, 2012 Moderator Share Posted September 9, 2012 I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy Tesco Value toilet roll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 Wheels Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?" Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied: "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first." "What a wonderful answer!", the nun said. Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your feet." The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?" Johnny said: "Well, I walked into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night. Mom had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying: 'Oh God! I'm coming!' If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noise Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Girlfriend rodeo When doing your missus from behind, lean over and grab her tits then wisper softly in here ear. "these feel just like your mums" And see how long you can hold on for..............my personal best is 1min 27 secs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
up.yours Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 you dirty little bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dt502001 Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 How to cut everything in half in 2 seconds ................... .. get divorsed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How to swear in 7 letter format....... 4 is way to simple we all know them ..divorce-- ---------------------------------------- How to work 80 hours a week and end up retired broke.... simplifed ......No drinking or gambeling required. Have kids. __________-------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dt502001 Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Girlfriend rodeo When doing your missus from behind, lean over and grab her tits then wisper softly in here ear. "these feel just like your mums" And see how long you can hold on for..............my personal best is 1min 27 secs I like ..... these feel just like your sisters but hers are bigger and firmer..... but i cant beat 1.27 noise your a stud. best I change my grip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted September 11, 2012 Moderator Share Posted September 11, 2012 No one is totally useless they can be used as a bad example Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sacha Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 An update for all the guys who ask why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free... Nowadays more women are against marriage because they realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. (oldie but goodie) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wild foamy Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 What's green and invisible?... ... This cabbage -> XD - foameh x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted November 16, 2012 Moderator Share Posted November 16, 2012 A mummy coated in chocolate & nuts has been found in Egypt-archaeologists think it might be Pharaoh Rochay. Ill get me coat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NEV Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 A mummy coated in chocolate & nuts has been found in Egypt-archaeologists think it might be Pharaoh Rochay. Ill get me coat A bit off Topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 Wheels Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 Ahaaaa Young love !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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