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Something for the weekend Sir?


DirtyDT
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I decided to get a pack of 3 for the weekend so I got these

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In case it rains I thought I would try and cheer things up a little.

A piece of tarmac is standing at the bar chatting up twin zebra crossing signs. He is boasting how tough he is. “I am the toughest road in the world” he says. “Everyone is scared of me” The twin zebra crossing signs giggle. “Cyclists, car drivers and truckers are all scared” he says. “I even scare Yamaha riders” At this stage the girls are getting a bit wet.

The next minute the doors of the pub are kicked open and a slab of red tarmac walks in. The red tarmac shouts “I am the toughest thing in the world”. The loud mouth piece of tarmac cowers, looks the other way and shuts his mouth. Red tarmac strides to the bar and orders a pint. He downs it in one and walks out.

The Twin signs turn to him and say “If you’re so tough why didn’t you take on the red tarmac?”

He replies “You must be joking………………………He’s a cycle path”

A gorilla walks into a pub. “A pint of beer please landlord” says the gorilla.

The barman pulls the pint and thinks….Hmmm he’s only a gorilla……”That will be £30 please”

As the gorilla supps the pint the barman say’s “we don’t get many gorilla’s in here.

The gorilla replies ………………………………………. “At £30 a pint, I’m not surprised”

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  • Moderator

Did ya hear about the rich man that went to heaven, he managed to persuade St Peter too let him in with some of his bars of gold in his hand, he was wondering why St Peter was asking what do you want to take the in for, he got inside and everyone asked him why he was carrying paving slabs around

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