Moderator Goff Posted October 25, 2008 Moderator Share Posted October 25, 2008 Ok, so its 8am on a Saturday morning, and im up and about. Why? i hear you ask, seeing as its a Saturday morning and you deserve a lie in Goff dahling, cos you worked so hard this week. Well my fellow bikers, its because of the prick who lives 4 doors down on my street. He has a VERY OLD silver Peugeot car and the exhaust is fucked. So as you can imagine its very loud. Not only that but he also has an EVEN OLDER Fiesta type car thats just as fucked and just as loud. This prick insists on revving the balls of both cars EVERY FUCKIN MORNING and driving like a madman down the cul-de-sac in front of my house to turn round! I wouldn't mind but this arsehole is fat, bald, knocking 40 and lives with his mother - and to top ot all the cars arent even nice!! Any ideas on how to stop this twat from waking us up every morning would be very welcome. A very large knife coupled with slashing motions towards the tyres has already been thought over......... FUCKIN WANKER!!!!! ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beowulf Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 hi Goff go to a builders supplies and get a tin of expanding foam stick it up his pipe that will stop him. back pressure might blow the fu--er up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Goff Posted October 25, 2008 Author Moderator Share Posted October 25, 2008 hi Goff go to a builders supplies and get a tin of expanding foam stick it up his pipe that will stop him. back pressure might blow the fu--er up. You know what - i already have some of that as im having major renovations on my house so there is some lying about in the kitchen - im REALLY liking that idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dufferz Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 You know what - i already have some of that as im having major renovations on my house so there is some lying about in the kitchen - im REALLY liking that idea Ohhhh what a coincidence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wild foamy Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 drop the sump plug out of it during the night (use a bucket and dont spill any) that ought to stop the bugger... failing that i second the idea of expanding foam, no doubt you already have the required black clothing for a midnight sabotage mission... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beowulf Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 if you go on the foam idea wait till he bends down to see what s up his pipe and give him the rest of the can. that will put him out for a hell of a long time . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamax Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 im more keen on the direct approach you could just ask him nicely not rev so much so early in the morning or if that fails,grab him by the balls with a suitably large set of grips and say SOFTLY, you fat bald bastard, if im woken up again by that heap of crap going up or down this road...... this bit is very important.... you must twist on release of the for mentioned grips.... that would work on me if a lady done and said that too me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 If you cut through the air valve stem on each wheel, it will stop him. The valve has to be put in from the inside so it will cost him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRJ999 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 My but you good people have some wicked suggestions. I do sympathise with you though, young Goff. I am currently in mid-dispute with a neighbour who, up until I had the temerity to put my wheelie bins near his wall, left me alone. Now he has made it his mission in life to get the backing of the neighbourhood to send my other half and me to Coventry. Frankly, I think the bloke's a twat. He reckoned he'd take the matter further, although that was over a month ago. Now, if he's out when I leave the house, he scurries back indoors. I, too, feel the need to remove two, maybe four valve inners from his wheels (I leave early/return late from work each day). You folks have given me loads of food for thought..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Airhead Posted October 26, 2008 Moderator Share Posted October 26, 2008 My but you good people have some wicked suggestions. I do sympathise with you though, young Goff. I am currently in mid-dispute with a neighbour who, up until I had the temerity to put my wheelie bins near his wall, left me alone. Now he has made it his mission in life to get the backing of the neighbourhood to send my other half and me to Coventry. Frankly, I think the bloke's a twat. He reckoned he'd take the matter further, although that was over a month ago. Now, if he's out when I leave the house, he scurries back indoors. I, too, feel the need to remove two, maybe four valve inners from his wheels (I leave early/return late from work each day). You folks have given me loads of food for thought..... I think you missed yodas point there, valve inners can be replaced with no expense, but valves cut through can only be replaced at great expense!! Not that i'm suggesting....just...clearing up....a...point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twincam Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Paint Stripper/Brake Fluid (maybe in a water pistol or a squeezy bottle) Note: Wear Marigolds or some form of protection on your hands... Only problem is it wont stop him making noise or driving up and down, just make you feel better. **I cannot be held responsible for any action taken after this message has been read** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilninggas Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 im more keen on the direct approach you could just ask him nicely not rev so much so early in the morning or if that fails,grab him by the balls with a suitably large set of grips and say SOFTLY, you fat bald bastard, if im woken up again by that heap of crap going up or down this road...... this bit is very important.... you must twist on release of the for mentioned grips.... that would work on me if a lady done and said that too me its a catch 22, if you talk to him and he doesnt listen to wat you say and carries on with his stupidity, then when you do something outside of the law, he is gonna know it is you and may well call the police in. All you need is a little evidence and bang your in a load of shit with the law. iv had this problem before and its almost better not to speak to people, as these chavs couldnt careless about other people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ttaskmaster Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 I once had an 'acquaintance' who'd mix his driving with drink and/or drugs of varying types. I had issue with this, so a few of us got together.... After we destroyed his car, he was passed an annonymous note, stating that this was just a warning and suggesting he not drive under the influence ever again. His mother bought him a new one shortly after, but within the month, he was banned for drink-driving. His sentence was what we called the "Big Three". 3 year ban, £3,000 fine and 30 hours community service - Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! But anyway - Back to the destroyed car... If you're going to do this, you must do it well. A thermite strip from nose to tail makes a car split in half very well, I must say!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 nothing cheaper than a potato shoved up the exhaust,only takes a couple of seconds to do maybe when you take your dog out for a walk when it goes dark tonight no point talking to arseholes like him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedOrZed Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 I've sorted out problems with noisy neighbours simply by asking. Being on my way to a job and having a sledgehammer in my hand is always a total coincidence other than that, plank of wood with nails in, painted black, behind/in front the passenger side wheels or where ever he's not likely to look. Bang bang, every saturday till he shuts up? Got a welder? weld some nails together (grind off any galvanising 1st, it's poisonous) at right angles - caltraps, fun for all occasions! destructing other peep's cars with thermite / expanding foam is slightly OTT. certainly for a warning shot... On a more legal side, contact the local council etc. ASBOs can be issued for lots of things and have a low burden of proof - they are there to curb anti-social behaviour, which is what this person is doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ttaskmaster Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 destructing other peep's cars with thermite / expanding foam is slightly OTT. certainly for a warning shot... I'm assuming Lady Goff has already tried all reasonable approaches. Besides, Thermite just about registers in the mind of a drink-driving, crackhead stoner. But seriously, try " 'avin' a word wiv 'im"!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wild foamy Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 failing that show him your' basement, that should scare him straight... (that is not a euphemism!) I for one am a fan of leather though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator YamaHead Posted October 29, 2008 Moderator Share Posted October 29, 2008 'Nuff Said! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator mervin Posted October 29, 2008 Moderator Share Posted October 29, 2008 Bag of sugar in the fuel tank merv Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deek76 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 why not get some of your biker pals round for an early breakfast and then when hes still in bed with his mum you all make even more noise than he does Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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