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Knobhead on my street


Goff
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Ok, so its 8am on a Saturday morning, and im up and about.

Why? i hear you ask, seeing as its a Saturday morning and you deserve a lie in Goff dahling, cos you worked so hard this week.

Well my fellow bikers, its because of the prick who lives 4 doors down on my street.

He has a VERY OLD silver Peugeot car and the exhaust is fucked. So as you can imagine its very loud. Not only that but he also has an EVEN OLDER Fiesta type car thats just as fucked and just as loud.

This prick insists on revving the balls of both cars EVERY FUCKIN MORNING and driving like a madman down the cul-de-sac in front of my house to turn round!

I wouldn't mind but this arsehole is fat, bald, knocking 40 and lives with his mother - and to top ot all the cars arent even nice!!

Any ideas on how to stop this twat from waking us up every morning would be very welcome.

A very large knife coupled with slashing motions towards the tyres has already been thought over.........

FUCKIN WANKER!!!!! ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!! :banghead:

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hi Goff go to a builders supplies and get a tin of expanding foam stick it up his pipe that will stop him. back pressure might blow the fu--er up.

You know what - i already have some of that as im having major renovations on my house so there is some lying about in the kitchen - im REALLY liking that idea ;)

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You know what - i already have some of that as im having major renovations on my house so there is some lying about in the kitchen - im REALLY liking that idea ;)

Ohhhh what a coincidence ;)

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drop the sump plug out of it during the night (use a bucket and dont spill any) that ought to stop the bugger...

failing that i second the idea of expanding foam, no doubt you already have the required black clothing for a midnight sabotage mission... ;)

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if you go on the foam idea wait till he bends down to see what s up his pipe and give him the rest of the can. that will put him out for a hell of a long time .

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im more keen on the direct approach

you could just ask him nicely not rev so much so early in the morning :rolleyes:

or if that fails,grab him by the balls with a suitably large set of grips and say SOFTLY, you fat bald bastard, if im woken up again by that heap of crap going up or down this road......

this bit is very important.... you must twist on release of the for mentioned grips....

that would work on me if a lady done and said that too me :blink:

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My but you good people have some wicked suggestions.

I do sympathise with you though, young Goff. I am currently in mid-dispute with a neighbour who, up until I had the temerity to put my wheelie bins near his wall, left me alone. Now he has made it his mission in life to get the backing of the neighbourhood to send my other half and me to Coventry. Frankly, I think the bloke's a twat. He reckoned he'd take the matter further, although that was over a month ago. Now, if he's out when I leave the house, he scurries back indoors.

I, too, feel the need to remove two, maybe four valve inners from his wheels (I leave early/return late from work each day).

You folks have given me loads of food for thought.....

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My but you good people have some wicked suggestions.

I do sympathise with you though, young Goff. I am currently in mid-dispute with a neighbour who, up until I had the temerity to put my wheelie bins near his wall, left me alone. Now he has made it his mission in life to get the backing of the neighbourhood to send my other half and me to Coventry. Frankly, I think the bloke's a twat. He reckoned he'd take the matter further, although that was over a month ago. Now, if he's out when I leave the house, he scurries back indoors.

I, too, feel the need to remove two, maybe four valve inners from his wheels (I leave early/return late from work each day).

You folks have given me loads of food for thought.....

I think you missed yodas point there, valve inners can be replaced with no expense, but valves cut through can only be replaced at great expense!! Not that i'm suggesting....just...clearing up....a...point. <_<

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Paint Stripper/Brake Fluid (maybe in a water pistol or a squeezy bottle)

Note: Wear Marigolds or some form of protection on your hands...

Only problem is it wont stop him making noise or driving up and down, just make you feel better.

**I cannot be held responsible for any action taken after this message has been read** :lol:

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im more keen on the direct approach

you could just ask him nicely not rev so much so early in the morning :rolleyes:

or if that fails,grab him by the balls with a suitably large set of grips and say SOFTLY, you fat bald bastard, if im woken up again by that heap of crap going up or down this road......

this bit is very important.... you must twist on release of the for mentioned grips....

that would work on me if a lady done and said that too me :blink:

its a catch 22, if you talk to him and he doesnt listen to wat you say and carries on with his stupidity, then when you do something outside of the law, he is gonna know it is you and may well call the police in. All you need is a little evidence and bang your in a load of shit with the law.

iv had this problem before and its almost better not to speak to people, as these chavs couldnt careless about other people.

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I once had an 'acquaintance' who'd mix his driving with drink and/or drugs of varying types.

I had issue with this, so a few of us got together....

After we destroyed his car, he was passed an annonymous note, stating that this was just a warning and suggesting he not drive under the influence ever again. His mother bought him a new one shortly after, but within the month, he was banned for drink-driving.

His sentence was what we called the "Big Three".

3 year ban, £3,000 fine and 30 hours community service - Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

But anyway - Back to the destroyed car... If you're going to do this, you must do it well.

A thermite strip from nose to tail makes a car split in half very well, I must say!!!

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nothing cheaper than a potato shoved up the exhaust,only takes a couple of seconds to do maybe when you take your dog out for a walk when it goes dark tonight no point talking to arseholes like him

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I've sorted out problems with noisy neighbours simply by asking. Being on my way to a job and having a sledgehammer in my hand is always a total coincidence :D

other than that, plank of wood with nails in, painted black, behind/in front the passenger side wheels or where ever he's not likely to look. Bang bang, every saturday till he shuts up? Got a welder? weld some nails together (grind off any galvanising 1st, it's poisonous) at right angles - caltraps, fun for all occasions!

destructing other peep's cars with thermite / expanding foam is slightly OTT. certainly for a warning shot...

On a more legal side, contact the local council etc. ASBOs can be issued for lots of things and have a low burden of proof - they are there to curb anti-social behaviour, which is what this person is doing.

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destructing other peep's cars with thermite / expanding foam is slightly OTT. certainly for a warning shot...

I'm assuming Lady Goff has already tried all reasonable approaches.

Besides, Thermite just about registers in the mind of a drink-driving, crackhead stoner.

But seriously, try " 'avin' a word wiv 'im"!!

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