Mervin, 
Classic just plain Classic ! loved it ! Keep em coming !!!!!! 
Cheers 
Starkroozer   
 
 
 
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an  
early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for  
retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between  
any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points  
would be.  
 
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top  
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked  
out with a bonus of $72,000.  
 
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be  
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked  
out with  
$96,000.  
 
The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,  
when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my  
weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might  
want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two  
officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along  
with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.  
 
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em,"  
which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip  
of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly  
exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"  
 
The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam 
 
Cheers Mervin !