KirriePete

.... more I could keep this up all night long ......

A small selection that will send you spiraling down the rabbit hole into earworm hell:

Short answer - NO. Gear oils are normally used in non unit construction engines where the gearbox is separate from the noisy bit. They are not designed to cope with the heat and combustion byproducts you get in the main engine bay as all they need to do is keep the whirring gear bits from grinding metal off each other. What you need is the standard Hellfrauds 10w/40 Semi-synth Motorcycle ENGINE OIL clicky link here - I buy mine in the 5 litre jugs as it works out at half the price (four and a half quid a litre) and it ain't gonna go off any time soon. Looks like you've got a trip back to Hellfrauds again, sorry!

Got a pair like the ones slice is showing. Low and high tones make enough noise to wake even BMW X5 owners. Had to put a relay in the circuit as the original single wiring loop didn't have enough grunt to get 'em both talking.

Having said get a multimeter, you can test the switch with a battery, a bulb and some wire, like so: battery(+)---switch---bulb---battery(-) Operate the switch, if the bulb is off it should go on, and vice versa. But get a multimeter anyway.

They're not expensive - a quick Google for multimeter throws up loads for under a tenner - don't bother with a wobbly needle analogue one, just go digital from the outset. If you're gonna be looking after your own bike(s) you will need one of these sooner or later, so you might as well bite the bullet now.

Yebbut wotcha do yer test on? Shirley the 125 would've felt puny after each lesson and you'll be glad to see the back of it .....

Thank fuck fer that! Well done, now get some miles under your wheels without the hell plates.

The examiner's going to be giving you plenty of notice for each turn, so there should be no need for rushing anything. He tells you where to go, you spot the turn then go into the routine "Mirror, mirror, blind spot, signal, position, speed, gears, final check (if needed), turn, cancel, hi-ho Silver, awayyyy!". If you're rushing it, that implies you're leaving things a bit late, so consider planning things a wee bit earlier so you've got time to fit everything in without panicking. Don't think about the examiner, just treat his voice like a particularly annoying satnav and ride according to the conditions you'll be fine.

Float bowls off, blast arsehole aerosol carb cleaner up the way, then do the same from the top down and then from the air intakes. For added hilarity, try putting neat Redex into the fuel line and fire it up on that - just make sure you've issued a fog warning first! If all that don't work then, as Ttaskmaster says, stop being a lazy sod and do it properly!

Childish? Hell, no! Anything that gets you remembering to push the button is good by me. Bit like the 2 second rule for following vehicles - "Only a fool breaks the two second rule", bit stuffy and IAM-ish - "Only a c**t hits the vehicle in front" gets 'em remembering to hang back. Lifesavers, pretty much any time you change position on the road, check first - moving out past parked vehicles, moving back in, dodging potholes, moving into filter lanes ....... etc etc

If the examiner opens his mike to tell you to cancel, you've failed, so push the flamin' button as soon as you've turned, then push it again just to be sure.

In addition to that, just make sure you do a head check (lifesaver, blind spot check) whenever there's a gap in the direction you're about to move, f'rinstance: Going onto a roundabout to turn right, check your left shoulder before moving onto the roundabout Going ahead at lights where there's a filter lane to your left, check it for the numpty who's going straight through in the wrong lane Turning left if there's a gap between you and the pavement, check it, if you haven't left a gap there's no need to check. .... and so on. Basically if there's a space for some numpty to be coming at you, check it. Also, don't beat yourself up over any mistakes you think you may have made or your riding will go downhill rapidly. Remember, the examiner is also having to keep an eye out for his own riding, so there's times he's not looking at you ..... Stay frosty, ride as smoothly and safely as you can and you should be fine.

Just keep talking Noisy - from the outset tell the trainee everything you want him/her to do: "Turning left at the lights, so start your checks, mirror, mirror, blind spot, left signal on, position to the left, slowing down, selecting gear, check the junction, if clear go, if not smooth stop in first gear" and so on...... BTW, was down at Cardington yesterday and got my DAS ticket, just dropped one mark. Yay! Keep it up Noisy, it gets easier the more you do.

Riding with your toger in the wrong place = brown helmet, possibly yellow afterwards.....

As they say in various parts of the interweb - "Seriously Japan, WTF? Please stop!"

Small hole in the 'zorst - it's supposed to be there, it's for draining condensation away. Shouldn't the plug be a cr6? I would go for a 7 if the thing was sooting up all the time, but only after checking the fuel mixture was set properly. Neutral light - some bikes just won't go into neutral, some are easy, some get a false neutral that's just north or south of real neutral so the light stays off. If you're getting an 'in-between' neutral and put the sidestand down, the safety switch will cut the engine (I think). As John says, 12.6v at idle, should climb to about 14.5v with revs. Rust removal - try using crumpled up tin foil and diet coke, the cheaper the better, Tesco's value stuff is great (for this not drinking!). The coke contains phosphoric acid and the tin foil will not scratch the chrome like wire wool would. That should give you something to get going on with for now. You're welcome.

Alpha Technik, German company making stuff for bikes, including 33/46.6bhp restrictor kits. My guess would be that your latest purchase (lovely looking bike, by the way) has, or used to have, fancy expensive washers in the air intakes to comply with the interfering Nanny State bollocks that we had before the latest load of interfering Nanny State bollocks.

Put Metzeler's on my lad's 125 way back when (he's 25 and riding the GTR1000 now), managed to deck the pegs in the wet so they must be OK. Link to ME22 on Black Circles site - other sellers are available, your mileage may vary, terms and conditions apply, see small print for details.

Found some in the back of the shed, free for all to use:

Welcome Mini-task, good choice of bike. I know the owner of the bike John (blackhat250) saw, he abuses it something rotten but it just won't die.

You're welcome Andy. Next steps: (don't forget you'll be doing the test on a big bike so you'll need to transition from the 125, but you can still practice in between lessons on your own bike - the 125, not the 500!) Module 1 - wobble round the cones (clutch control & balance), then stop where you aim for, stop quicker and, finally, dodge a SMIDSY or mini-roundabout then stop. Don't hit any cones, do check every time you're about to move, you'll be fine. Here's the official DSA video (shot on the pad at Cardington, you can see the R101 hangar in the background on a couple of shots) Module 2 - Show some basic machine checking skills then ride around the area for 35 minutes or so, doing everything properly (checks, signals, position etc.), play nice with the traffic and don't worry if you make a mistake or two, as long as they're not big, potentially dangerous foul-ups ......! Here's the first video of the Module 2 series, the rest should be alongside this one on the Youtube page (BTW, the 'examiner' in these videos is Paul Colliss, the guy that assessed me on my Cardington CBT ticket last month, top bloke!): Now pull up yer girly drawers, get some practice in and get rid of those 'L' plates!!!!

That's some serious camel toe action there. Not a complaint, merely observing.

Exercise for the freewheelers: Do a slalom in 1st gear, at tickover with the clutch all the way out, all you do is steer it. Now do exactly the same, but this time pull the clutch in when you go to change direction at a cone. One method will result in a smooth slalom with a stable bike, the other will end up in wobbles and potential drops. The only time I feather the clutch on a corner is when it's really tight, we're talking hairpin, and it's a bit slippery, anything other than that the clutch is fully engaged and the bike is ridden round on a steady/rising throttle. Here endeth the lesson.

OSMPSL, dunno 'bout the extra O - we teach that initial obs should be 'Mirror, mirror, blind spot' so you've already looked, get yer signal on and move over. Then it's the PSL bit. Freewheeling round a corner - the bike's not under power so it can wobble and fall over if you're not careful - while the engine is driving the wheels the whole plot is stable - see Colin Edwards spectacular 'almost won a MotoGP once' bin at Assen in 2006: he was in the gravel, the bike shook it's head, straightened up and ran on to nearly win the race without him, pity the tyre wall got in the way.....