barkwindjammer

Whats all this shouting?

Yep I'd 2nd that

ROFL,,,a spectacular FAIL

Big white Val eh, I say,,,,do you have a pic?

If you do your face up with black boot polish and shoe whitener like 'Al Jolson', then remove your lid when instructed you will become an instant celebrity in the store, dont knock it til you try it !

'thats a cracker'

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker.. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon, Love, Grandma

I presume you dont have a 'sight glass' on the side of the engine casing, then get your m8 to hold the bike upright, take the dip-stick out,-wipe it clean,-put it back in,-remove it once again and the oil should be between the Max and Min mark, any '10W 40' semi-synthetic motor oil will do, it doesnt have to be bike oil either

Sorry Goff you gonna have to sit this one out too jeez the shandy's strong in here, ok hot stuff watch me go <script type="text/javascript" src="http://clips.rofl.to/clip/embed/js/480/360/dancing-with-the-losers"></script><a href="http://clips.rofl.to/clip/dancing-with-the-losers">Dancing With the Losers - Funny Video</a>

Brian the snail loves his job at Firebox.com (jammy balustrade) <script type="text/javascript" src="http://clips.rofl.to/clip/embed/js/480/360/transformer-snail"></script><a href="http://clips.rofl.to/clip/transformer-snail">Transformer Snail - Funny Video</a>

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lord... and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.' And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car

Santa and the Fairy Angel One Christmas season a long time ago, as Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, problems started to pop up everywhere around the North Pole workshop. A flu epidemic was making many of the elves too sick to work, and the trainee elves he pressed into service could not produce toys as fast as the regular ones. When he went out to feed and exercise the reindeer, he found two were pregnant and about to give birth, and another two had jumped the fence and gone tromping around the local woodlands. After he got back from rounding them up, Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mother was coming to visit. “What next?” a stressed-out Santa said to himself. Santa went out to the garage and began to load the sleigh for a test run. Unfortunately, one of the floorboards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys all over the floor. Frustrated beyond words, Santa went into the house for a cup of hot apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had drank all the liquor and emptied the cider pot, too. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom and termites had destroyed the handle. Just then the doorbell rang. “Good god, what’s next!!” he thought. A highly irritated Santa trudged to the door, opened it, and there stood a little fairy angel with a great big Christmas tree. The fairy said, very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?” . . . . . . .

Welcome (slanje) 2wheels, 'getting it right isn't a skill', getting it wrong is !

"I dont quite understand how a group of Brit gearheads can be so witty" well put

There is lots of tack on E-bay HTH

Stay safe out there chums <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src=" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Ok Goff, rrarrrrrr, why dont you slip into something slippy honey, time for the male solo part of the dance my hunch, my hunch, my hunch, check it out <object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV0RL7vK44E&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param'>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV0RL7vK44E&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV0RL7vK44E&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

Hey groovy, thats like, far out man

sorry, I got a semi and had to go adjust my peripherals Dont want to appear 'forward' after all

Very well done you guys, take my santa hat off to all involved

Right am off to the bar, pint of shandy for me, half pint of Jack Daniels for you-shaken not stirred, then I'll change the pressing <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src=" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Thats great news Foamy, more happy times ahead for you an your little pony, hows that Jawa comin along?

Excerpts from 'letter-bocks' THEY SAY that laughter is the best medicine. My grandad has got Parkinson's disease and we've been laughing at him for months and he hasn't got any better. So much for that theory. D. Smoog, Paris SURELY it would make sense to simply nuke the Middle East. Then all the sand would turn to dunes of glass that you could ski on, providing you lined your skis with velvet. And you could find oil just by wandering around looking down. Neil Weatherall, e-mail WHILST cleaning Jamie Oliver's windows the other day, I pissed in his window box with herbs in. Have any of your other readers done spiteful things to celebrities? OTG, Herts I WONDER if I could use your letters page to warn women about a scam that is going on. If a man comes to your door and asks to look at your tits, claiming to be doing a survey, do not show him your tits. I fell for this the other day, and it was only later I discovered that there was no survey, he was only trying to see my tits. B. Harrison, e-mail HAS ANYONE lost a flat, orange cat and some flies in the car park of Llantrisant Tescos? I found them yesterday and wonder if there is a reward. Kris, Pontyclun SEVERAL weeks ago I sent Denise Van Outen some of my pubic hair and a photocopy of my penis, yet she still hasn't had the decency to reply. Isn't it about time some of these so-called 'celebrities' looked down from their ivory towers and realised that it is borderline psychotics like myself who made them what they are today? John Sowerby, Sedbergh THESE NEW 'Gentlemen's Clubs' are a complete con. I went in one the other night and it was full of women. To add insult to injury, most of them were practically naked. Robert Warren, e-mail WHAT A rip-off these so called Scottish Widows are. The one they advertise on telly is a real gorgeous, classy tart, but when I fixed myself up with one from the 'Encounters' section of the Glasgow Herald, she turned out to be a right old boiler living in a council flat in Motherwell. Jamie McSporran, Glasgow And my fave so far THESE DAYS, most shops have wheelchair access, but once inside the shop, the needs of the disabled are all but forgotten. Whilst in my newsagents the other day, I realised how difficult it must be for someone in a wheelchair to purchase a top shelf magazine. They would have to ask someone to pass it down which would cause great embarrassment. . Wouldn't it be a good idea if newsagents had a pneumatic ramp by the magazines to lift wheelchairs up to the top shelf. It could be fitted with flashing lights and a klaxon to warn other customers to keep clear of the mechanism when in operation. Steve Dawson, e-mail

I think we got our first YOC challenge FOAMY FOAMY FOAMY look who's waiting to catch you ! ,

If I may be so bold <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LAOFtrmSkQ&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param'>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LAOFtrmSkQ&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LAOFtrmSkQ&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>