barkwindjammer

http://www.raygirling.co.uk/excuse.wmv

Please be aware that if your under 18 then this video is not for you http://www.worktobejudged.com/strippause/peca.html

if the wiring loom starts to smoke-just switch it off

I'd be up for that, I'd like pecan roulade please, I'll PM you with my home address

In a typical mans world. A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas, coconuts and the few fish that he managed to catch. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore on a boat.. In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?' She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank a few months ago.' 'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a rowing boat wash up with you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made this boat out of raw materials that I found on the other side of the island.. There's lots of wood, palms and vines. 'But, where did you get the tools?' 'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'I found a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock. I used that for tools. The guy is stunned. 'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walkway leading to an exquisite hut painted in yellow and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says cas ually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?' 'No thank you,' he mumbles, still dazed. 'I can't take any more coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I've managed to ferment some alcohol. How would you like a Pina Colada?' Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a lovely fountain outside and I've made a razor out of tortoise bone..' No longer surprised by anything, the man goes to shower and shave. 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'Whatever will it be next?' When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?' She stares provocatively into his eyes ... He swallows excitedly and tears start to well-up in his eyes..... ........bliddy hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports as well? !!

Yes that may be so, but your a crazy Irish ballaster

Its neat the way you've flattened all the snow right around the bike, just like the red Indians would do to the sand using brooms made out of brush and branches

B&Q sell very cheap wheelbarrows, this could be fltted to the front of the bike, with cable ties for example, then to add to the 'ferrous mass' which triggers proximity switches in the road you could add some more metal objects to the trough of the wheel-barrow, a 'bric-a-brac' shop would be a cheap place to start,a couple of trial runs would probably be required to ascertain the correct ammount of 'ballast' required ! HTH

I think the 'traffic lights not working' bit refers to the lights being 'completely unlit' and out of action all together, you try explaining to a 'gendarme' that the lights were 'stuck' for a good 5 mins and you couldnt proceed, and they're gonna do this

Yeah, lets change his name by 'proxy' All those in favour say AYE !

You jammy basket Paul, Grin factor 10 Mr Sulu

Thats exactly what I'm looking for Paul, nice 1 m8y

, too many people milling about !

I fitted new downpipes and silencers 4-2 to my bike last summer (pre ice age), the downpipes to silencer 'gaskets' were aftermarket and hence not worth a 'funkies muck', anyhoo, anyone out there know where I can get the old fashioned fire-proof 'rope' that used to be used on boilers and for packing fire doors etc, this stuff was white and I think was made of,,,,stuff

NURSE !

What the hell are you doing with a stihl saw in a sheltered housing complex??? You put that down, you'll have someones eye out with that !

Cheer us up here in good ole Blighty, and tell us what the weather is like in the desert of Nevada

"dog gone, well al be darned"

Welcome to the aSyLuM OD , take a seat, the nice nurse will be along shortly to give you your meds

Ok, kools,,, das veydanye, KEVIN,, <object width="853" height="505"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src=" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="853" height="505"></embed></object>

Kevin Orlov, in sree, two, vun, go <object width="853" height="505"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src=" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="853" height="505"></embed></object>

Wow, just had a peek at your profile Curlygirl has anyone ever told you that you bear more than a resemblance to Julia Roberts ?

check your exposure setting HTH