Ttaskmaster

These are called Summer Riders and are often complete pricks... Thank them for whacking up your insurance rates and wish them a swift sale on their bike when they crash/tire of it (hopefully to you, for rock-bottom prices).

ALL the gear, ALL the time. Full face, leather jacket & leather trousers with the point-impact armour, armoured gloves, reinforced boots... and the all-important headover/Buff/tube-thingy (must be important, as I have loads of 'em). Weather be fucked - I'd rather survive to complain about it.

I know about nine 1100 owners. All have relocated the filter. None have had any problems since about 2005.

Sounds like your electrics are somewhat fritzed. Give them a proper good ging over.

Ride to bike show/rally. Find a set you like. Try them out for size, there and then. Expect to pay 50-150 for a decent set. Also, watch for shops selling off old, unsold stock on the cheap. I've had brand new, top brand stuff for as little as 20% of original price.

Best place for decent saddlebags* is a good bike show or a great bike rally! *Saddlebags = soft sling-overs. Panniers = hard fixed cases. IMO only, of course ;-)

I'm sure I said 'sturdy cord' or something Actually, I just tried to Search for it myself (now it's a sensible hour in the day) and it seems posts past a certain date actually get deleted now. That's REALLY fucking annoying, as several of us had spent hours writing precise, detailed guides on how to do various useful things on our respective bikes....

Easy as pie to fit. You just need a piece of string. Somewhere in one of my posts is a page-long article on how to do it. I'm not gonna write it now, as it's almost 3am, but do a Search and you should find it easy enough

I do like the Stryker, although I'd have to change the piddly front forks for something beefier and maybe reduce that massive rake angle, plus some other alterations... The Raider looks like Yammie's answer to Honda's (I think) attempt at that off-the-shelf Chopper shite... just far more half-assed. For example, what's the massive space above the engine for? But both look like variants of the new 1300 and 1900 Midnight Star models we have here...

Extra holes - Definitely. Saddlebag supprt rails - Definitely. Drags come in Classic and Custom versions. Biggest difference on the Classics are the long sweeping metal mudguards. Other details: the forks have chunky shrouds over them so they look beefier, the front wheel is wider, the seat is fatter and more contoured, the bars are more M shaped and the battery/compartment covers are usually the same colour as the tank. Custom version (the best) is less stylised, and slightly more minimalistic. The covers are chromed, the mudguards are shorter and made of plastic (as a result, the Custom is 20kg lighter) and a few more minor details. The Classic: The Custom: Hope that helps. I'm a 650 Drag nut, as are many here, so feel free to ask any questions!

If you do.... can I have the bike?

Most small independant mechanics can make 'em up for you, braided or whatever style, for a decent sum. Apparently it's not difficult, but not as easy as custom brake lines either......

Recess the switch into a little waterproofed box. Maplins do various sizes of 'project box' or there's a myriad different little things that would work just as well. Make sure you seal the wires in and you're done.

You also have the 650-A, ie the Classic. Customs have a thinner front

Go to Glenfinnan, 15 miles West of Fort William. It's at the Northern tip of Loch Shiel. If you can afford it, stay in the Jacobite Suite of the Glenfinnan House Hotel. Their front door is about 40 yards from the loch edge! Meet with Duncan, the chef and manager, try the local venison, have the full Scottish breakfast and sample the Glenfnnan Gold they have on tap. Also be there in the bar on Thursday night for a right rollicking time with the local Glenfinnan Ceilidh band - By the end of the evening, we were all dancing on the tables!!

Nah, it's bloody wicked! Had a brilliant honeymoon in Scotland where I was born (apparently Gerard Butler and I have the same taste in restaurants). We now have another week to go before the gift list closes at John Lewis and we get a load of cool stuff delivered! Got one wedding present early - My mechanic is also an IT whizz and he's built me a top notch gaming PC!!

And I am now married The Ttaskmistress is now officially mine and she even gave her oath, in front of God and all the family, that she would obey me!! Course, I swore to protect her, so when she gets pissed and picks fights with all the Batckpatchers it's gonna get awkward, but small price to pay for obedience, eh!!

Clicking (on my bike, anyway) usually means that the battery is just worn out. Get a new one.

Try a vintage Chatteauneuf du Pape. FAR superior to Cabernet!

You should be able to fit a reversing kit to any bike that has a Neutral gear position. It's usually an electric system and nothing to do with the original drive train, but it's essentially the same thing that Goldies have.

Laugh and ride off. Job done.

Well Venom certainly offer it for sale on their webshite... we bought a full set for Claire's bike the other day! No news on engines as there's none for sale at sensible prices. Might be able to fit an 1100 engine in, or possibly fix the fecked crank, so I may only need a new con rod.

Favourite British insult: "Cursed be the blacksmith who forged the axe which felled the tree from which was carved the headboard of the parents of the driver of the carriage in which your mother and father first met"!!

Or, to avoid the 'Gay Shit', learn to forge and make real swords like Paul Binns - Pattern-welded blades are fucking awesome, very sturdy and go for a couple thousand quite easily! Replica blades are utterly crap and the market is flooded with far too much cheap shite. Even EN45 re-enactment blades kick the shit out of them!

How do I create a permalink thing to all the long posts I keep writing about these common questions?