Ttaskmaster

From the mods specified, it might need a re-jet, a tune-up or carb adjustment.

Young executive??!! I'm an engineering technician, mate. We get overpriced sarnies off the trolley or buy overpriced sarnies in the canteen, just like the rest of the scum!! It may be the largest utility company of it's kind, but that doesn't mean it's any good here. Besides, I'm a consultant, so we get even less regard! If you're going to get a performance bike, the Rocket III is a good one to play with. Certainly better than living your life on a knife edge all the time. Sunday rides are fine, but not for us all-purpose bikers.

Is prettily insane fella, but I'm afraid it doesn't count. It's a one-off custom, not a standard production model. It also has nowhere to put me sandwiches!!!! The Production Rocket III beats the Production (pre-restriction) Hayabusa 0-20, 30, 40 and 50, but it's still slower on the 0-60mph. However, either becomes faster once you start customising, knocking off weight, adding Nitrous and other such silly things that people do.... which they do because they cannot afford that aforementioned Heavy Attack Helicopter

Okey doke... Hop along to The Look website, get in touch and tell Leader that Woody Wonderlust sent ya! Also tell him that if he does take this gig, it'd be good to have Woody on the drums

My old lot always used to go down well at rallies, from the Celtic Warriors' Birthday Bash to the Graveyard Bash. Not particularly cheap, though. They might offer a discount as it's for charity, but they are a long-established pro unit and the best in Europe. Expect around £500 odd for a gig like this. Still interested?

If you're going to start with heated gloves, you might as well get the full kit, especially on an unfaired bike as open as a Cruiser. Hence £405 odd. Gloves wear a lot faster than grips. Also, heated grips are fine, but it's the rest of the body that then gets cold. Anyway, unless you are going blatting across the Arctic, you won't really experience much in the way of proper cold, so long as you have reasonable kit. Most of the chill comes from lack of shielding, fairing and what have you, especially if you're doing M/way speeds and above as people are wont to do. I have heated grips, but I rarely use them, to be honest. The Ttaskmsitress also has them and uses them often, but she also rides in jeans and suffers cold a lot more. To each their own.

If they don't follow you now, they never will, mate!!!

Nice idea, but potentially £405 for stuff that will wear out. The alternative is a fully faired bike and reasonable clothing. The Triumph Trophy has such good fairing that riders are kept very warm simply from the rising engine heat. Many only ever wear summer jackets. If weather is that much of a problem and you cannot afford reasonable kit, get a car. Being exposed to the elements is the main thing about biking, be it blazing Summer when friction from the air actually warms you further instead of cooling, or be it freezing Winter when you finish your ride and slide into a comfy chair with a mug of hot tea.

Get a bigger bike, then!! Get the Cruiser ones. They look fine to me.

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned-cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor," she said. "S'truth," Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl! I'll go across the road and get Cobber (his mate)." They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way, we can't do it," Cobber said, "so let's try Plan B." "Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?" "I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber. "Spot on," Bruce said, "while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples." "Play with her nipples?," Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!" "No," Bruce replied, "but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive"

If it's too cold, then you ain't dressed right!!!

Pssst....... Ye can put them on almost any bike, ya know!! It's nice, but big and heavy and cumbersome at low speeds. It's for this same reason I don't want an FJR1300. I like things you can just drop into a parking space. Get some more experience, then take one for a test ride and see what you think.

Just to add my usual argumentative opinions in.... I agree with the second line, but not the first. On some bikes, you can drop down for an overtake. I used to do so on my 125 Drag. However, on my 650 Drag, I am usually seeing it's clear and revving up, moving out for the 'take, changing up just as the power maxes out and blasting forward a touch before moving in. That's mostly because I tend to ride within the power bands. The bike doesn't actually like it if I don't. Ultimately, it depends on the bike, the rider and the situation. One trick is to not just dump the clutch out, but release it slowly. If you down-shift at the wrong point, you will usually spin the rear wheel regardless. Personally, I wait until the revs reach a low burble, clutch in, down-shift and add a bit of revs at the same time, clutch out gently.

Been riding all through Winter, myself..... Don't see what the fuss is about. I'm already tired of all the rude, ignorant bastards who don't nod or wave back!!

Nope. Most Cruisers have no centre stand. They may come with fittings for one, but I've only ever seen one Cruiser that actually had one fitted. TBH, it's always going to be a pain lugging 230+kgs onto a center stand. Done properly, you should be using your bodyweight to press down and the fulcrum action of the stand to lever it up, rather than dragging it.

In addition, some States require extra bits to be added for the Low Emissions laws and stuff like that. Doesn't make much difference, but I'm in a completist mood today.

Should have shouted out on Friday, Foamy. I was out blasting up the A4074.

If I could afford one, I'd get one. It beats the Hayabusa up to 50MPH and has enough torque to scare most people. If you want a Cruiser on steroids, this is the one. Totally impractical for anything apart from touring on big roads and showing off, but that was pretty much where Triumph came from with this. I understand someone said, "Let's build a stupidly big bike". So they did.

Hey Goff.... I'm intelligent and I'm an asshole too......... (Disturbingly realistic Quasimodo mode on) "Beat me, mithtreth.... beat me!!!!!!!! But Mithtreth.... you thaid she would be mine???!!!!!!" (Quasi mode off)

Qualifications = Possibly. Might depend on the company. Ask 'em. Working The Smoke = Having a job in London

You're a Stoner, aren't you? I bet you have the munchies right now, but you can't be arsed to go down the shops!! I prefer more practical gadgets... Like my new MP4 Watch!!!

Goff's initial reply 'may' have been open to misinterpretation. This is the internet after all and the written word is somewhat unwieldy when trying to express emotions, especially so with an international audience where subtleties of cultural variance become magnified. In short, read everything everyone says as if they're your best mate and are speaking with a smile. In the first instance Goff was being humourous, but she was right - NO-ONE can change every road sign in the country within two days. The rest was reflecting the mounting dischord between a newbie who thinks he knows something about a subject touting himself as an expert in a forum populated by long-experienced people who know everything about the subject. It's tantamount to.......err, what example shall I create? ........ Oh I know - reading about performing a Strapadichtomy on Wikipedia and then marching into the Doctor's Lounge in a hostpital, stating that you can teach their medical students. It escalated from there, really. Oh, and yes - A Strapadichtomy is a genuine medical procedure......... Most commonly performed on lesbians

Yarrrrgh, fuckin' ranty-bollocks and shit!!!!!!! Listen to me because I can swear and that makes me tough and better than all you edumacated like people like........... "Buddy, I'm a boy, make a big noise playin' in the street, gonna take on the world someday, I got mud on me face. A big disgrace. Kickin' my can all over the place, singin' YOUUUUU WIIIIIIIIL, YOUUUUU WIIIIIIIIL, BAN ME!!" He's right though - Goff is a nasty, nasty, dirty, evil person..... Which is why we all call her Mistress Goff and have the hots for her!!!!

For Courier work, get a copy of The Riders' Digest (free from most good accessory shops). TRD was started by MC Couriers, for MC Couriers, hence a lot of such companies advertising. Talk to the companies that advertise in their pages. They will tell you the requirements, expectations, pros & cons, what you get bike and salary-wise, advise on insurance and all that. Many are there to advertise for drivers and riders anyway!! Or....... If you just want to be a hero, do something on the side as an excuse to ride and don't mind volunteer work, become a Blood Runner. After standard working hours, the NHS courier service does not operate - They rely on taxis and expensive private firms to ferry medication, blood and organs around in an emergency. These guys are volunteers, but they do an invaluable job and save lives almost daily. With some of them, you also get to ride a Hi-Viz bike with flashy blue lights!!! S.E.R.V Website Freewheelers website Each organisation covers different areas, so check both. SERV's webby has some heavy traffic at this particular momment (12:28), so check again when it's faster. You'll probably need an Advanced Riding qualification and 2-3 years riding experience first, as you'll be routinely riding faster than the "Speeding Twat" type bikers, but will have to do so safely with a loud siren deafening you and flashing blue lights hampering your vision.

Pretty snazzy, there!! Default text size could do with being bigger and the thumbnails would be good if they were slightly larger, too. M&P and Busters have this same small format, probably as they are continually updating large amounts of high-turnover stock. But it's not amazingly user-friendly since most of us will have our default text size (View, Text Size etc) set to 'Smaller'. Other than that, looks rather shiny. I rather like some of the stuff too, so I may drop by if I ever get some cash!!