Yeah I assumed you were being lighthearted. Although I do personally find adjustable spanners of use and very occasionally the stilsons, but only because I use my tools for more than just bike maintenance... and the adjustables sometimes come in handy, especially for weird bikes like BMWs!
But instant gasket... That one is a serious eww. When I first got my FJ, it had no gaskets anywhere and the PO had applied so much that it was gumming up the engine. Since then, I've pulled it out of water jackets, valves, cams, timing chains, exhausts, fuel caps, brake calipers, between piston rings and more... I wouldn't mind so much, but I was only helping out while dropping by for a cup of tea and the only reason I made money was from guilt payments because "a quick hand with this engine" so often turns out to be "Ah shit, take the whole thing out. It needs a rebuild"!
Then again, I've helped fix a clutch that was superglued together, so it can always be worse!!