Ttaskmaster

Side panels, as in the battery and 'glove box' panels? Yep, easy enough 2nd hand and looking better than the painted ones on the Classic. Can't say enough about braided hoses - Absolutely fantastic invention!! BTW - You have the Classic or Custom?

I personally wouldn't consider hangabouts an actual part of a Club, since most of them don't even make it to Prospect. Support... maybe, but more a separate entity and usually driving vans rather than riding, in my experience. Depends on the Club, I guess. Same for yer Prospect period. 2 years is mainly a big four thing, but depends on the Club. Tends to be shorter and easier the lower down the scale you go. Could be as little as a month for some MCCs. This was just a quick layman's general intro to what we were talking about. There's a whole different world once you get into the details!

'Kin 'ell, boy!!!!!

Oh, yes, when I speak of empty saddlebags, I do mean the heavy, semi-rigid (fnar fnar) leather Cruiser ones. They kinda stay up no matter what (fnar fnar)!! Weight in actual soft panniers should be fairly well distributed wherever possible. Also look into protective strips for the edges of your bike paintwork where they contact... or kiss your paintwork goodbye.

Assuming you liked them, assuming they were properly fitted with the correct hardware, assuming they were in good condition.... yeah. But if you'd rather choose exactly what you want, that is an option.

Unless you have a Cruiser, in which case the throwover yoke secures under the pillion seat and you can put a full fuel can in one while leaving t'other empty!

In the most general terms, it's about different bike groups. Motorcyclists form several types of group. Each group has a kind of 'ranking', based on many things, one of which is their level of commitment to the biker lifestyle. Starting at the bottom: Bunch of mates. Self explanatory, really. Riding Group Members ride any kind of bike, accepts anyone they like. Regular rideouts to places of interest. May have a committee and a group identity (a name, a badge, etc). Often gets involved in local events, bike shows and the like. Rally Group As above, but rides centred more on attending bike rallies. Owners Group (and occasionally Owners Club) HOG - Harley Owners Group being a good example. Like the above, but centred around a particular brand, or even model of bike. Often nationwide or even international, with regional divisions. MCC - Motor Cycle Club Starting to get serious. The first of the groups typically thought of as the old-style biker gang. Many are male-only, although females are allowed in some and in others are female-only. Members are quite close and a lot of their lives revolve around the Club. Many require specific brands/models of bike for membership. Brotherhood (and Sisterhood) As above, but more committed. The Club often comes over and above most aspects of their lives. MC - Motorcycle Club. These are your top end lot. The Club comes first. Always. Wife, children, no matter - Members will look out for each other first. Once a member, always a member, pretty much. Male only and often restricted to particular ethnic groups, too. It's like a whole different culture, almost, with all manner of rules and ettiquettes that must be observed. The very top end of these are 1% Clubs or Outlaw Clubs. These would be your Hells Angels, Bandidos, Outlaws and so on. Most of the different groups get on well enough together. Go see the May Day run to Hastings, where 40-50,000 bikers all gather on the Hastings streets!! It's mainly the upper end that actually have territories where you get the fights. A heated debate over which group has the better insurance policies down the local pub is NOT a biker fight!! Front, Side or Backpatch Clubs From MCC and above, Clubs have their Club Patches (lesser clubs wear smaller 'badges', as Patch has a specific meaning) and where they wear them denotes the level of Club. Note also that an actual Club (capitalised for a reason) is very different from a motorcycle 'group'. Almost any level of Club might wear their Patch(es) in one of these three locations, but there are connotations behind it and the exact placement is enforced by the senior Clubs. Front Patch Lower end MCCs, mainly and riders or owners groups. Some Brotherhoods and a few more Sisterhoods. Most owners and riding groups wear front patches. HOG are one of the few who have anything on the back. Side Patch Tends to be high end MCCs and Brotherhoods, with the occasional Sisterhood although they tend to be wives of members from a supporting MC. Back Patch Occasionally an MCC, but very rare. This is almost exclusively the domain of MCs, especially the 3-part patches - Top Rocker with Club's name, lower rocker with territory they belong to and central patch bearing the Club's actual logo/banner. You will probably see the letters MC there somewhere, with mid & high level Clubs having it as a separate 4th patch, usually on the right. Outlaw Clubs often wear a diamond-shaped 1% patch as well, often on the back but could be anywhere. Many groups, but particularly MCs, wear patches on a leather vest/waistcoat or (less commonly these days) a denim jacket with the sleeves cut off. This garment is referred to as their 'Cut' or more commonly their 'Colours'. This is THE symbol for who they are and Colours are treated with extreme reverence. Mess with an MC member's cut and expect to wake up in A&E... if at all!! Most of the Paramedics I've spoken to have been instructed how to cut the Colours off a biker, if they absolutely have to, without damaging them or offending the Club. Prospects Basically, prospective members. Often recognisible by the single lower rocker that just says Prospect, or one at the top with the lower territory one. There are other ways, but those are the ones I see the most. They spend a certain amount of time on probation, as it were, before being admitted into the group as a full member. Prospect duration and duties vary greatly. As well as paying large dues/fees, the top end Clubs basically treat them as utter dogsbodies and you'll spend a whopping two years, 24-7, at the beck and call of either all members, or perhaps just one specific member (often your main sponsor). You could be doing everything from washing their bikes, to opening their beer, lifting and carrying, running errands and all manner of unpleasant things. If there's a menial job that needs doing, you get the Prospect(s) to do it!! This is one reason why Colours are so protected by members - From little MCC right up to 1% MC, every patched member has FUCKING WELL EARNED IT!!! A lot of people stay well clear of Patched Club members at rallies, but there's not so much of a need to. The key is respect as as long as you are respectful about things, they're cool as. Often nicer than the general rabble, I find! Simple stuff like don't touch them or sit on their bikes without permission, don't just approach them all thumbs-up expecting hugs, etc. If you wish to learn more, find a Club member and ask. Be polite, be respectful and simply say, you're interested in joining a Club, who should you speak to? Typically they will direct you to the Sergeant-At-Arms, Secretary or similar. Who you speak to depends on the club, but most have their title on the front of their Cut anyways!

As above, really. Most bikes can fit luggage, but not all of them. Smaller tail packs often have straps beneath that you strap underneath the pillion seat, or similar. The pack then just clips on to the strap ends, often with QR clips. Soft luggage is saddlebag style throwovers, usually, with the lower edges strapped/clipped/tied to teh support rail. Almost all bikes than can carry, require support rails of some kind to bear the weight and stop the luggage from hitting the rear wheel. Some bikes only have aftermarket fixings and these sometimes don't attach to the bike well, require modding or just aren't designed to take that sort of weight. A few aftermarket luggage racks that sit on the tail attach to the indicator bolts and can snap them if you put too much weight on.

Curved plate, sort of like a hugger, but right in front of the wheel? How likely is it the ties could snap and the plate fall into the wheel, or summat? Not nay-saying at all, just fed up of stuff going wrong... even though I now know this ain't an all-year bike, unless you have a Prospect to scrub it for you every night! Oh, and Toutsuite, once you have the back end off, you should be able to see if it's fatigued enough to snap, or not. Giveaway is the seized lower linkage/bolt/bracket/general assembly. If you're moving clean and can disassemble to liberally grease up, you should be OK. Use yer nounce, though.

Front, side or back? MC, MCC or OC?

Seen the Kuryakin ones fitted to the 1100 and 650 Customs. Not bad on the 1100. Adds just a bit more grunt and you'll beat a stock 1100 in a ¼ mile drag race, but that's about it. I'm 5' 11" with 33" inside leg. I would NOT put one on the 650. It will interfere with your leg, it will not add more than about 2HP to your performance (assuming you have a nice new one and don't mind doing the fiddling) and will be a complete waste of your money. Better off just buying different pipes and getting the note you want that way. Straight-throughs are nice and loud - I'd recommend teh Gemini ones off eBay... just keep them WELL clean and protected, as they pick up Winter road crap and rust up very quickly without.

Oh, occasionally pose and rev up when next to a Sports bike, suggesting I'm gonna race him... but then laugh and wave hand to say, "Nah, only joking!" Was stopped at lights on A33 last night, next to five Sporties all lined up at the front across three lanes. All revving up, though not excessively. Lights turned and they blasted off, engines and exhausts screaming so loud I couldn't hear my own. I was up to about 20 when they hit their crescendo and I almost went fucking DEAF... Only time I heard anything like that screaming was when I slammed a hippo's bollocks in a car door!!

Usually: Check mirrors periodically. Stare up at lights and sigh. Click into Neutral and drum on tank (I'm a drummer, so we're always tapping on something). If I feel the need to rev the bike and let people know I'm there, I blip a couple of times, but then lean down to reach the idle adjuster/fuel tap and pretend to fiddle with that. That lets me give a long rev on the throttle as I pretend to be altering something and gets me heard. I also blip the throttle a couple of times as I 'gear down' to a stop, even though I'm only doing 5mph and front-braking with the clutch in! Works better on a Cruiser. Other things include seeing another Dragstar, pointing at his tank logo and giving a wave/air-punch and going 'YAAAAYYYYYYY'! Best moments are dancing along with the loud music being played from the car next to you - even if it's fucking shite, like that R&B bollocks, it puts everyone around you in a good mood. Dancing biker dances the same (and looks as silly) as bloke in a Mickey Mouse outfit! If in doubt and there's no music, do the YMCA. Everyone loves seeing that!

Bollocks, forgot to take pics. Kinda busy geeking over PC gaming peripherals and fettling wi' me new FJ1200. Sorry!!

Is it a screeching, scraping metal sound, or a sort of whistly, zooming sound that a spaceship or a hovercraft might make? If the first one, chances are you have clutch issues. Sounds like something is scraping inside.

Black Velvet - Alannah Myles We Have A Technical - Gary Numan Lucretia - The Sisters Of Mercy 16 Shells From A Thirty Aught Six - Tom Waits I Love Rock N Roll - Joan Jett First five songs I learned to play and the ones that got me buying every album by each of the artists named above. There are others too, both artists and songs, but these were the first five. In truth, I'd find a way to have more songs and to create my own... else I really would go insane!!!

Any chance of getting this post pinned? Possibly one of the best I ever wrote and I still Copy & Paste on occasion.

Crimony-fuck, man... He should be charged with a wealth of offenses!! I can probably help with good condition bike parts, although you'll likely have to paint them the colour of your choice. Will speak to the current owner of the dead Drag on Sunday for you. Would also offer to help sort out the scrote, but I believe lynching is now illegal in the UK?

Don't think it's metal fatigue, so much as just a point where corrosive crap accumulates very easily, VERY quickly (it's a couple inches off the wheel, right in the mud-flinging path... FFS, Yamaha!!) and very hard to keep checked & clean even if you have an angled jetwasher, without regular dismantling of the back end. Admitedly, it's not that hard, although the four side-bolts are made of cheese so you'll go through them quite often.

Firstly, my bike is 14 years old and WELL past any warranty. Chances are at 30-35,000 miles, most other people's bikes will be at least 10 years old (assuming an average 4,000 miles of riding per year). Also, it's more just one of those design faults - Like the sight glass location, delicate reg/rec bracket (snaps off at the single frame bolt a lot), or the 1100 Drag's dodgy starter clutch and oil filter location. Something like this simply reaching the end of it's life. Remember too that most of these 'failed' bikes (especially mine) have been ridden seriously - All year round, for the most part and considerable long distance. I averaged about 8,300 miles a year on mine, I think. The manual says you're supposed to check the rear shock every 10, 20, 30 and 40,000 miles. It doesn't go past 40k and upon death, my Drag was pushing past 49K!! This latest one lasted 39.4K (see, I do take some care of my poor workhorses!). Based on even my mileage (I managed almost 10k in one year), that's less than an annual inspection. By contrast, annual MOTs *do* check the suspension, which is how I found out about this latest one even though it had already gone. Both Drags have had a top-down über-service, including grease up of everything, about every six months. Usually one right before Winter and one when it's warmer and I can do stuff myself without my hands seizing up. That, to my maths, makes it something that took at most 3 months to go from fine to fucked. Based on it's last service, this one actually took about 11 weeks!! Secondly, there is NO easy way to spot degredation with a standard examination. The ONLY way to spot this is to take the seats (and possibly the back mudguard assembly) off and visually inspect the lower bracket both sides of the curtain. If it's already gone, then again it won't feel any different. You may be able to spot it if you peer very closely up in the corner of the mudguard, past the wheel, with a bright torch, from several different angles. That, or bounce heavily on the seat (all your bodyweight) and see if it suddenly drops dead a few inches with a loud clunk and stays down. In both cases, it's awkward because the rubber curtain sits right over the linkage/eye/hole-bit and partially the shock body where it snaps. I personally believe the curtain helps trap a lot of the crap that causes the corrosion in the first place. Likely a custom-built cover would help. It needs to sleeve the entire lower bracket and the foot of the shock body (leaving the preload adjuster free), but still allow movement. I reckon a thick rubber wrap-around sock would be fine - Something that wraps over and under, overlaps and secures on the side with a buckle or press-studs maybe. I could draw it out if someone else wanted to make one. You'd still need the curtain to prevent crap from damaging the rest of the bike, though.

Some carry puncture repair kits, others have their tyres filled with self-sealing compounds. Depends on your bike and how easily you can apply either of these. The good ones have one of the above and break-down cover. The reasonable ones and those with awkward bikes have just the breakdown. The disaster-courters have zilch...

Likely more mileage, but the time I gave assumed year-round all-weather riding (like Meeeeeeeee!). Either way, all those who reported the same fault were about the same mileage (30-35k) and even those who didn't abuse their bike like me, the religious cleaners who got a top down service every six months or so, encountered the same issue.

After seeing what a bike cop did on a 700 Dullville, I REALLY wanted one and to learn how to do what he did... Then I rode the thing. Nice enough and loads of features to keep a gimmick-freak like me entertained, but a bit cramped on the controls and I couldn't see anything but my really wide shoulders, no matter what I did to the mirrors. Also a surprisingly dull ride, given what I'd seen it do. No surprises, nothing unexpected, just... sort of... went along. I felt really let down and was glad to hop back on the Drag when I left the shop!

Full details on what happens. Dirt, grit, road crap and water enter the linkage, bypass the outer O-rings driving the grease/lube out and then start gathering in a central groove that is probably supposed to have a third O-ring, but I've never seen one. Even my brand new Hagon one was the same. From here, the crap corrodes the insides. The bearing siezes to the bolt and to the inside of the linkage, as well as seizing the linkage to the swingarm bracket and the bolt itself. Corrosion also gets in through the little cut-out in the rubber curtain and onto the point where the linkage body forms the base of the shock. As the whole rear bracket assembly siezes up, the linkage body bends up and down with the swingarm's natural movement, eventually snapping. This is especially hard to keep clean in your normal routine, or even with a long-reach jetwash, as the wheel, mudguard and frame/sub-frame make it piggin' awkward. The only way I can see to do this is regular removal of the back end and checking. Most bikes seem to suggest lubing linkages every 12,000 miles. I'd recommend checking this maybe 3-monthly, with once a month during Winter/road-crap heavy riding. One small note - At out-of-the-box settings, the Hagon makes the Drag sit an inch or two higher. I happen to love this and having ridden two very differently set Drags with one, there is a slight but noticable improvement in handling. It just feels 'nicer', ya know?

Define not-too-expensive. A decent entry-level workshop scissor jack for Croozahz will cost you about £50-80. I was looking at the second one, myself: http://www.busters-accessories.co.uk/productInfo.aspx?catRef=TRE4101&kw=jack http://www.busters-accessories.co.uk/productInfo.aspx?catRef=TRE4103&kw=jack However, most guys seem to do fine with a large £20 car jack, long as you put it in the right place on the frame and use a thick pad between the two.