Ttaskmaster

What, Lee Majors? Haven't run into him yet, but I wouldn't rule it out - It's a little unlikely as big American don't often come to the UK.

Aye, that was us, mate Marines, an Alien, a Predator..... and a very lovely woman hefting a Pulse Rifle, namely my other half!! We were also up at Collectormania (and upsetting everyone at Autographica) in teh Hilton Metropole weekend just gone.

OK, for those that don't know, I'm a huge fan of the Alien movies, Aliens in particular. A bunch of mates and I get invited to go round conventions, collectors shows and the like, dressed up as the Aliens and Colonial Marines to entertain the public.... usually by scaring the shit out of them with the Alien guys!!! In return we get fed, accomodated and the shows donate money to our chosen charity, the NSPCC. We also get to hang out and get drunk with loads of famous people, like Sir Henry Cooper, Jake La Motta, Robert Vaughan, Joan Collins, Ernest Borgnine, Craig Charles and Robert Llewellyn, to name but a few. Before anyone asks, we're not like Trekkies - We do this for a laugh, as an excuse to get together and go drinking and to raise a lot of money for charity. Over the weekend, we got to do some film work with a personal hero of ours - Trevor Steedman, who plays Private Wierzbowski in Aliens. You might also recognise him as Bomber Harris, the boxer who nuts Brad Pitt in the film Snatch. Here's a couple of pics with us; Trevor Cast Shot The Massive Trevor Steedman (Steve on the left is standing on a box!!) That's me standing behind the Aliens

Which photo shoot was that? I've always been underweight. I'm only just up to about 11 stone and at 5' 11", that's still a stone under.

They shouldn't need to pick it open. They should be able to read the inside and/or impression the keyway and just cut a new pair for a few bucks. There's a lot of cowboy lockies around, but the proper ones will cut keys faster, better and for less than the High Street places like Timpsons.

Take 'em off, clean 'em out and reassemble. The idea is to scrub out every single bit of grit and dirt from inside, so it's easiest and best to remove them, take them to a very clean place and make them clean. Carb Cleaner spary is a must. However, this is part of a full service anyway. If you get a good mechanic (offer a few beers along with the cost of the service), they will show you how everything's done.

POWER checks; Petrol Oil Water (cooling system) Electrics Rubber. Or, if yours is an air-cooled V-Twin, shiny chromed bike that doesn't go out in the rain - Petrol, Oil, Weather, Electrics, Rubber

Going too fast into a corner. First time out on my 125, riding at night and too close to the car in front. What I thought was a corner turned out to be almost a complete U-shaped bend in the road. I realised I was too close after I'd started banking over and rolled off the throttle. The 125 Dragstar weighs 144kg, has 12 HP and almost no engine braking. I discovered this when I was about 6" off the back end of the car. I panicked and grabbed the front brake, instantly lowsiding at about 35mph and almost being hit by the car behind me at the same time. Nothing more than light bruising and the saddlebags saved the 125's exhaust... Until another time when I hit diesel.

Also, as it's not new, check the exhaust for holes. These or any gaps in the fitting (anywhere along the line, including your carbs) could also allow air to be sucked back in to make the popping. If the noise gets worse, ie starts to go BANG, then your holes are getting worse.

How? Quite easily. A couple of grand for shagging some other bloke's wife, thrice a week? Two grand a month, maybe... More if I don't find her attractive - And I'm a fussy bastard. I like my women to be REAL women. None of this Hollywood Model crap - Gimme Alannah Myles or Neve Campbell and I'd do the job for free. Anyone else (with the exception of my own dear other half) and you can expect an invoice in the mail!!

If you mean a larger lady, not a problem. Hide-out do custom tailoring and from-scratch too. My other half was going to do that, but then she lost all the weight on Lighter Life and has to buy a whole new wardrobe. Seems her waist shrank but her boobs didn't........ Alternatively, nick a bloke's jacket. Apparently, it's a romantic thing to do............ so I'm told when she nicks all my clothes, anyway.

I tried that, but they sent me down for a ten stretch in chokey...

Contact your local motorcycle parts shop. They should be able to get either a genuine replacement, and/or a suitable aftermarket one.

Carb Icing happens when the carb gets too cold. As you're riding an air-cooled bike, this can and probably will happen especially in Winter. Even if you do have carb heaters, they're probably crap. Mine are and my bike is a later model than yours. Silkolene do some fuel additive, of which you just chuck a couple of glugs in the tank when you fill up. This helps everything run better and minimises carb icing. I have a bottle at home but keep forgetting to use the bloody stuff!! It should have a switch.... Sit on the bike and lift it level, but leave the stand down. Start it up, pull in the clutch and click into 1st gear. It should now stop running, which means the sidestand switch is working. If it don't do this, swear a couple of times and then contact a reliable mechanic

In my opinion, sparkly effects on a bike look awful unless you're a girl.... In my opinion, anyway. I'll ask my mate Tony (who has long hair like a girl) where he got his done.... A very nice purpley-blue with rainbow-ish sparkles...

+2 for countersteering. I asked Guy at work here, who is one o' them racey types at Donnington, Cadwel etc. He simply said, "More countersteering"

Pick the lock, either with proper tools or improvised ones. Bring it here and I'll do it for you. Better yet - Take it to a dedicated auto locksmith (loads around). They will open it undamaged and cut you a couple of replacement keys for a few bucks.

Can't really help myself, mate. I know feck all about the bike. However - There must be a place where the fairing bolts to the frame somewhere. Can you not replace that bolt with the one that attaches the bung?

I wouldn't have thought so, no. Not without some jiggery-pokery and having it custom fitted by a creative spanner-monkey. However, you can get a 535 upgrade tank to increase your fuel capacity from the standard 8 litre embarrassment to a very respectable 13 litres!!! That should help, eh!!

Ooh, my ex-girlfriend has those light-up valve caps on her bike.... How amusing!!!

Errrr...... dunno. If no-one here knows, ask the VSOC (Virago & Star Owners Club). They do this sort of thing all the time.

Give it a full service, clean the carbs and everything else, replace anything worn. Works for mine. Bikes like it when you tart them up

Err..... You can't. Chromed covers are the domain of the Custom Dragstars, which is why ours look sooooooooo much better ;p Classics generally only come with colour-matched covers..... generally, anyway. Sometimes Yamaha either forget this and send batches out or simply the factory guys feck up and put the wrong ones on. So yeah - Standard Custom covers should be interchangable with the Classics.

Bike trader, MCN, Bike.com - Loads of places to list. Newspaper, shop window, local free ads, Gumtree.... Wait a month or two until summer really kicks in and everyone wants a bike. Should get at least a grand for that. I've seen a non-running FZR-250 go for 1200 OYEP!!

Nope - First six years, I believe. Other sources have said either three or eight. Myself, it was actually the first few months. However, all three were on the 125 at low speeds (40 and below). All three I was doing something wrong. Two of them I was doing something stupid. One was just braking on diesel. The other two were my fault - First time out on a bike after completing CBT, riding too fast into a corner and panicking, hitting front brake. Other one was me pissed off with my girlfriend (now ex) and not concentrating, not looking where I was going while U-Turning and ended up hitting the curb. I still think the 125 was essential as you need to plan ahead a lot more. However, I feel I would have benefited from a 3-day long CBT or somesuch. There's a lot to take in, especially for a first-time road user and very little time to learn everything. Government doesn't allow them. They're twats regardless. Many of them are in cars, actually!! Only those who cannot afford cars are on peds. HGV and Bus drivers already do have to re-test every few years, I believe. TBH, CBT is OK. It does what it's supposed to do. It should be more comprehensive if people are going to ride afterward, though. Similar training needs to be applied to cars as well.