mervin

Back to primary school days Mary had a little lamb she alsoo had a bear I have seen her lamb but never seen her bare

well if yuo are in the USA these maybe worth a go and restoring them or new theseuniversal ones

to quote the late great Judge dread Little boy come blow up your horn the cows in the meadow the sheeps in the corn where is the boy that looks after the sheep he is under the haystack with little bo peep

Suzi quitting motoGP

Is Afrikaans for a bra Taskie

Chaos reigns at the winter Olympics. After the death of a competitor in the luge, the Irish bobsleigh team are now refusing to compete until the course has been gritted!!

Anyone wanna set this up here? MCN fantasy legue i have already done it on the Aircooled forum so cannot really do another but i can enter my team if someone here does it Merv

Malcolm the norton is on its way home too Ireland at the moment it will not be reloaded. goood riddance is all i can say merv

Irish Virginity Test Kit Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tellif his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things from a Do It Yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint... And a shovel.' Paddy asked, 'And what do I do with these, doc?' The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint one of your ballsredand the other ball blue. If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw", you hit herwith the shovel.' __________________

and the ID 10 T virus as well i reckon

Driving into town today, i saw a 'AA' man sitting in his van, crying, wailing and bangin his head on the steering wheel. I thought to myself, He's heading for a breakdown. -------------------------------------------------- Bought a Sony Bravia 42 inch LCD TV. Yesterday only £100. Salesman says the volume control is broken. I bought it "Can't really turn it down at that price"

Has anyone used this bag of sh*t and got it too work with windows7, if you are buying a new computer avoid it like the plague, i have now installed it 4 times on my new laptop and every time it updates it stops working and you cannot open the pogram again to sort it out, now going back too free AVG and zone alarm and gonna take it back too Pc world and tell em where they can stuff it merv

THE shining

Quite simply it is against the law too use a vehicle not displaying a tax disc we all agree,whether it is in the post or not you are not displaying it, they are not doing you for not having the tax they are doing you for not displaying which you cannot deny if the disc is not on the vehicle,if it is taxed and you are waiting for it an enforcment officer with a bit of common sense and some sympathy MAY say ok it is taxed and you have not got the disc, but an anally retentive jumped up little promotion grabbing pillock will just do ya anyhow, the only way you can be safe is to stay off the road, I know of someone who was done on the 2nd of Jan last year at a roadside stop as were several other drivers in the same place same time as her , and they were all just waiting for the disc, but at the end of the day they were breaking a stupid law Merv

True Reports from British life.......!!! > > BRITISH NEWSPAPERS > > Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, > a spokesman for North West Gas said, > 'We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey > has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed > his house.' > (The Daily Telegraph) > > Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in > her underwear. > When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian > boyfriend. > (The Manchester Evening News) > > Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, > because they cannot issue a description. > It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what > it looks like. > (The Guardian) > > A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was > rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. > A coast guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'. > (The Times) > > At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and > asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but > he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just > blown his Land Rover off the cliff. > ( Aberdeen Evening Express) > > Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience > with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was > sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, > she recalled - 'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the > crocuses > came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil > Hitler.'' > ( Bournemouth Evening Echo) > > HEARD ON THE LONDON UNDERGOUND TUBE > A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to > their passengers... > > 1) 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I > know you're all dying to get home, unless, of > course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want > to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.' > > 2) 'Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from > E & A syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his arse. > I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any.' > > 3) 'Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that > last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had > a great time. > The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford > and East Ham, which means we probably > won't reach our destination.' > > 4) 'Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a > security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore > stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and > pass some time together. > Alll together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'.' > > 5) 'We are now travelling through Baker Street ... > As you can see, Baker Street is closed. > It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you > earlier, but no, they > don't think about things like that'. > > 6) 'Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these > professional beggars. > If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. > Failing that, give it to me.' > > 7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver > announced in a West Indian drawl: > 'Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, > towels are not provided.' > > 8) 'Let the passengers off the train FIRST!' (Pause ) > 'Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm > going home....' > > 9) 'Please allow the doors to close. > Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' > The two are distinct and separate instructions.' > > 10) 'Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that > the doors are about to close. > It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.' > > 11) 'We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the > door.' > > 12) 'To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the > second carriage > -- what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?' > > 13) 'Please move all baggage away from the doors.' (Pause..) > 'Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.' (Pause...) > 'This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at > the rear of the train: > Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the > door > Before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!' > > 14) 'May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed > on any part of the Underground. > However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round > the rest of the carriage.' >

do you have a dustbin, if so put the cone filters in it especially if they have metal ends, and refit a airbox or go for a y boot and uni filter, we could be looking at all manner of problems here, dirty carbs with blocked primary, jets choke not working, alli am gonna say is come on over too the aircooled forum you will be among the best guys to ask questions about RD,s (I am there)and joining the club will get you access to for sales, wanted etc and some discounts from suppliers

mike it changed recently i noticed it when i taxed my bike at the end of dec just looked it up and confirmed it is from the 5thday of the month DVLA tax info

I think you can get it nearly a month in advance now merv

yup failing to display is a new little earner that hey are using more i am told, even if they check and you have paid your tax they still nick you for not displaying it, why they cant give the traffic police/wardens a few bags of tarmac and a shovel too fill some potholes i dont know then at least we could see we are getting something for the millions of tax we give the government, we motorists are the governments cash cow, if everyone stopped buying fuel and using motor vehicles for a week the country would be in dire straits, they would have no money to give to illegals. asylum seekers. clean out duck ponds. rent porno movies, swan up and down the motorway at stupid speeds using loads of fuel in BMW,s etc Merv

i will second Cynic on that. look at my bike list. www.aircooledrdclub.org.uk is the address Merv

click here for a nice little fluffy bunny story

Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:- 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If love is blind, why issexy lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's license's of bald men? 15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? 16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. 19.Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:NAIVE (My Fav) 20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeingsection in a swimming pool? 21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

Poufs game tennis, he should take up a real sport tossing his haggis or summat like that

i think it is the same as the RD,s so get e 3 pin (mechanical not solid state /elelctronic) flasher unit from a bike shop, they are much cheaper than the real thing (if you can find one) but the self cancel will not work and you may find a slight delay in the flashers starting from cold almost like the unit needs to warm up i fitted an electronic one to my last rd resto it was fine til i started the engine then the flashers went into warp factor asshole mode, I:E they flashed so fast htey were nearly on all the time just dimmed slightly instead of flashing on and off merv