mervin

Teacher asks the class to name things that end with "Tor" that eats things. The first little boy says "Alligator", Miss. "Very Good, that's a big word." The second boy says "Predator", Miss. "Yes, that's another big word, well done." The third boy says "Vibrator", Miss. After nearly falling off her chair she says "That's a big word, but it doesn't eat anything." "Well my sister has one and she say's it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow."

Definetly pooable that idea, i think not, you would need to put a complete fizzy engine in methinks, then the extra weight of the 100ccc frame etc would not help though, just get a FS1 to start with, then fit a YB100 engine would be more sensible but if you are 16 illeagle. I had a Aprilia RX50 recently derestricted 50 mph easily, put one of them motors in a FS Merv

So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 Members of Parliament and 2 Members of the House of Lords. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.

I knew there was summat missing here, could not put my finger on it though, :lol: Goff good to see ya in back with us, hope the exams/nuptuials go well, will keep track of Lisa on face book :lol: merv

it is a fairly simple procedure knock out the old races and put the new baring races in, quicker and easier to fit than ball bearings, no huge difference to handling though unless yours are worn badly or the races pitted. sometimes on the RD,s the headlight brackets are slightly loose when fitting tapers, which may apply to the XS,s as well, just put an o ring under em , but all my RD,s have been fitted with em, Merv

So legitimatei have seen it with Bodmin, Penzance, Basildon, Stirling and sevral other towns named in it over the last 5 years it has been floating around the net

Well result brand new full bike set of double H pads in the post this morning

In fairness to Andy i will include his words still not sure if i will ever trust the pads again though Also we have included an additive in pads since 2005 called potassium titanate which is an alkaline powder that balances the acidity caused at the pad friction and plate interface and stops this , which we cause a corrosion debond. This is a mod we developed for Lotus to stop pads welding themselves to cast iron rotors and we adopted it years ago for all our pads both car and motorcycle. The number of reported debonds we get now is small and random and always on pads several years old.

Well after a couple of mails with pictures too Andy at EBC they are sending me new pads, as they say these were old and rusty but then on an off road type bike they are not going to be used in the dry and clean all the time, and he reckons they were probably from an old batch, as the bike is 6 years old and i cannot vouch for its life before i had it and the pads were in it when i got it but i have much older pads in the RD,s that are showing no signs of deterioration like this, but they have developed their pads with Lotus and since 2005 have been adding something to them that makes them more resistant too rust and sticking too cast iron discs so thanks Andy

Barky i have contacted the head honcho at EBC this morning and i am waiting for his reply, he has actually been on the honda XRV forum recently to defend his product and asked for them too be returned, he is lucky that it is not Devon and Cornwall constabulary evaluating the product, cos if i had been in an accident i am sure they would be very interested merv

If you are using these over priced pieces of shite on any of your bikes keep your eye on em, just took the wheel off my honda vigor and one of the pads came out with it leavng the backing plate behind, had heard of this happening too other people now i have had it happen, luckily not on the road

You cannot beat the electric leg on a thumper

http://www.bildschirmarbeiter.com/video/eine_andere_motorradfahrt/P30/

just deleting some of the shite from my phone thought i would share some of the publishable ones Locals are said to be in a state of shock after police found a stash of guns and drugs behind the Job Centre in Liverpool yesterday.. A spokesman for the City said; "The people of Liverpool had no idea they had a Job Centre". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My mates wife left him last Thursday. Apparently she said she was just popping out for a pint of milk and never came back! I said to him: "How you coping?" He said: "Not too bad, I've been using that powdered stuff!". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife has just told me that Gavin from Autoglass came round earlier and injected his special resin into her crack - i'm not normally suspicious, but she hasn't even got a car!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy is walking along the road when he's stopped by a policeman & a sniffer dog. ''This dog tells me that your on drugs'' says the policeman. Paddy replies, "I'm on drugs? your the 1 who's talking to a dog". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sex tip of the day - NEVER use a lemon flavour condom. They make you cum in a jiffy ! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Got home today and found the missus dead with her head in the washing machine still at least she died in comfort ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Young bloke pulls older woman at a club. She's 61 but looks very good for her age. On the way back to her house he's thinking mmm! I bet her daughter is hot. When out of the blue she asks if he'd like a Sportsman's Double? "Wots that?" he asks. "It's a Mother & daughter threesome!" she says. "WOW! YES PLEASE!" So as they go in her front door, she puts the hall light on & shouts " Mum are you still awake?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Let's test the way u think. Read this: thepenisinmymouth. Did u read the pen is in my mouth? Like **** u did. Pass it on cock sucker!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- A bloke was in the supermarket when he sees this tasty bird givin him the eye. Do i know you he asks ? arent you the father of one of my children she replies ? Thinking back to the only time he was unfaithful he says : are you the stripper on my stag night who ****ed me on the pool table whilst your mate shoved an enormous dildo up my ass while spanking me with a piece of wet celery ? No she replies , im your sons school teacher ! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- George Clooney is set to star in a film about the life story of Gary Glitter titled "Oh she's eleven --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Woman answers phone and pervert on the other end breathes.. "have u got a big sweaty hairy c*u*T". Woman says ," yeah he's on the f*c*ing settee, do u want him ? __________________

sound like there is summat going wrong there have you seized it?? run out of oil?? or bent the crank when the new clutch was fitted which in turn has shot the seal, i did bent the crank on a pug sexless vibrator once putting the engine back together, expensive job that was merv

i reckon the system is the same as the RD,s and germany never had self canceling look out a wiring diagram for germany and you should see if the unit is needed, merv

in the same vein A big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one would dispute that. Then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel and, if he could locate the bullet hole, he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks. So the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought him another skin from someone's car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk. Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one huge black eye. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it.. Where did I get this black eye?" His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed, put your hand down my panties, fiddled around a bit and then loudly yelled, "Skunk. killed with an axe."

That reminds me of the blind guy that went for a job in a wood yard. at the interview he was asked how he knew what type wood he was selling if he could not see it he said i smell it so they thougt they would test him with a few offcuts first offcut under his nose he says norwegian deal he was correct second offcut japanese oak correct 3rd offcut african walnut correct the guy thought i will have him he went out and asked his secretary if he culd borrow her knickers waved them under his nose he said that is the shithouse door off a Grimsby trawler

and she is planning her wedding merv

Yes IN THE UK you should always overtake on the right of a vehicle unless you are in traffic and the queue you are in is moving faster tthan then one too your right. or the vehicle is signalling to turn right and you can safely pass them on the inside, but just be careful because mirrors are a waste of space on most cars now because they are never used apart fromn too apply makeup etc, and in motorway traffic cars tend to just change lane without signalling or checking to see if anything else is beside them, as sonme stupid old fart found out recently when hestarted to pull out when i was halfway up the side of his car with my truck, truck wheel nuts make a good mess of car bodywork, good job i was on the ball and gave the thick old coot a blast on the horn and woke him up Merv

Spring time An elderly man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple making love in a field. Getting over his initial shock he said to himself, "Ah, young love... ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers... C'est magnifique!", and continued to watch, remembering the good old day's that he'd once enjoyed. Suddenly he gasped and said, "Mais... Sacre bleu! Ze woman she is dead!" before heading off as fast as he could to the town to tell Jean, the police chief. He arrived at the Police Station, out of breath, and shouted, "Jean...Jean...zere is zis man, zis woman ... naked in farmer Gaston's field making love." The police chief smiled and said, "Come, come, Henri you are not so old, remember ze young love, ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers? Ah,L'amour! Zis is OK." "Mais non! You do not understand, ze woman, she is dead!" Upon hearing this, Jean, leapt up from his seat, rushed out of the station, jumped on his push-bike, pedaled down to the field, confirmed Henri's story, and pedaled all the way back to call the doctor. He picked up the telephone and screamed, "Pierre, Pierre! This is Jean, I was in Gaston's field, zere is a young couple naked having sex!" To which Pierre replied, "Jean, I am a man of science. You must remember... it's spring, ze air, ze flowers, Ah, L'amour! Zis is very natural." Jean, still out of breath, grasped in reply, "NON, you do not understand, ze woman, she is dead!" Hearing this, Pierre exclaimed, "Mon dieu!" grabbed his black medicine bag, stuffed in his thermometer, stethoscope, and other tools, jumped in his car, and drove like a madman down to Gaston's field. After carefully examining the participants he drove calmly back to Henri and Jean, who were waiting at the station. When he got there, went inside, smiled patiently, and said, "Ah, mes amis, do not worry. Ze woman, she is not dead, she is British!"

Even macs are susceptible too that one mate, have a look at the vid

David beckham gets home early to find Posh naked,sweaty and flustered. Quick Dave,i'm having a heart attack she cries. As Becks picks up the fone, Brooklyn runs in crying. Daddy, John Terry's in the wardrobe naked. Becks drops the fone,throws open the wardrobe door,and sure enough,there he is . Becks screams, are you some sort of idiot? Vicky's having a heart attack and all you can do is run round naked scaring the kids.

insidious virus worm this one exists and will affect your computer if you are not careful, watch this it is easily prevented

A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast. On his way there two nuns look at him and he says, "Good morning sisters" and they reply in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." This stuns the priest who thought he had been very polite but he just goes on. He encounters a Brother a little while later along the way and he says, "Good morning Brother." The Brother replies in a sing song voice, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." The priest looks confused at all this but goes on. He gets a little farther and he comes across a fellow priest and he says, "Good morning Father." The priest replies in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Now the priest was mad. He continues his walk to the dinning hall not saying a word to anyone. The Bishop sees him and says, "Father" The young priest was not going to take any more even from the bishop. He looks at the bishop and says, "No I did not get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." The bishop looks at him stunned and says "What?" The priest realized his mistake and said "I am sorry your holiness, what is it you want." The bishop looks at him and says, "All I was going to do was ask you why you had Sister Ann's shoes on?