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mervin

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Everything posted by mervin

  1. mervin

    xmas hero story

    T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE, MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY, WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO, IN THIS HOME, DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKING BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES, OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH MEDALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOBER THOUGHT, CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR, IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED, A TRUE BRITISH SOLDIER. WAS THIS THE HERO, OF WHOM I'D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALISED THE FAMILIES, THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS, WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT. SOON ROUND THE WORLD, THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY, AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE, A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY. THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM, EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR, BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE. I COULDN'T HELP WONDER, HOW MANY LAY ALONE, ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE, IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME. THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT, A TEAR TO MY EYE, I DROPPED TO MY KNEES, AND STARTED TO CRY. THE SOLDIER AWAKENED, AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE, "SANTA DON'T CRY, THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE; I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON'T ASK FOR MORE, MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS...." THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP, I COULDN'T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP. I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL, AND WE BOTH SHIVERED, FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL. I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE, ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT, THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR, SO WILLING TO FIGHT. THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE, WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA, IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE." ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT. "MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, A ND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
  2. take it to a proffesional i wrecked a crank rebuilding a peugeout scooter engine
  3. Not sure if it the same as the RD fuse box but for £20 THIS is a good item
  4. mervin

    SCAMS BEWARE

    watch these cheeky bloody sand N*****s -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Also CHECK YOUR RECEIPTS BEFORE LEAVING THE CHECK-OUT I bought a bunch of stuff, over £150, & I glanced at my receipt as the cashier was handing me the bags. I saw a cash-back of £40. I told her I didn't request a cash back & to delete it. She said I'd have to take the £40 because she couldn't delete it. I told Her to call a supervisor. Supervisor came & said I'd have to take it. I said NO! Taking the £40 would be a cash advance against my Credit card & I wasn't paying interest on a cash advance!!!!! If they couldn't delete it then they would have to delete the whole order. So the supervisor had the cashier delete the whole order & re-scan everything! The second time I looked at the electronic pad before I signed & a cash-back of £20 popped up. At that point I told the cashier & she deleted it. The total came out right. The cashier agreed that the Electronic Pad must be defective. Obviously the cashier knew the electronic pad was defective because she NEVER offered me the £40 at the beginning. Can you imagine how many people went through before me & at the end of her shift how much money she pocketed? Just to alert everyone. My co worker went to Milford , Sainsburys last week. She had her items rung up by the cashier. The cashier hurried her along and didn't give her a receipt. She asked the cashier for a receipt and the cashier was annoyed and gave it to her. My co worker didn't look at her receipt until later that night The receipt showed that she asked for £20 cash back. SHE DID NOT ASK FOR CASH BACK! My co-worker called Sainsburys who investigated but could not see the cashier pocket the money. She then called her niece who works for the bank and her niece told her this. This is a new scam going on. The cashier will key in that you asked for cash back and then hand it to her friend who is the next person in the queue. Please, please, please check your receipts right away when using credit or debit cards! This is NOT limited to Sainsburys; they are one of the largest retailers so they have the most incidents. I am adding to this. My husband and I were in Sainsburys and paying with credit card when my husband went to sign the credit card signer he just happen to notice there was a £20 cash back added. He told the cashier that he did not ask nor want cash back and she said this machine has been messing up and she canceled it. We really didn't think anything of it until we read this email. I wonder how many "seniors" have been, or will be, "stung" by this one???? To make matters worse ...THIS SCAM CAN BE DONE ANYWHERE, AT ANY RETAIL OR WHOLESALE LOCATION!!! BEFORE LEAVING THE CHECK-OUT........CHECK YOUR RECEIPT!!!!! THIS COULD HAPPEN ANYWHERE. CHECK YOUR RECEIPT BEFORE LEAVING THE STAND. I'VE SEEN PEOPLE DO JUST THAT. NOW I'LL START! PASS THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS, KIDS, LOVED ONES.
  5. drewps on a scout outing settling his differences with brown ale (the leader of the scout pack)
  6. mervin

    RD 200

    I will give him a tenner for it seriously if it is as good as you say up too a grand possibly. but wrong time of the year to sell bikes now, and really would need to see just how good a resto it is and if it is original colours decals etc, Merv
  7. Yes but it was sink the Bismarck i reckon or at the very least Tactical nuclear penguin
  8. Loads of good advice here, I find riding my old 2 strokes more fun than riding modern bikes, at a steady plod you see the country side more, riding in groups is down to knowing each others limits and not pushing your luck i reckon, if they get away from ya then relax they will catch up with a tractor on a bend or summat eventually, just go at your own pace enjoy the 125 for what it is, and when you get your XJ6 enjoy that but it will blody cumbersome and awkward to start with i promise ya
  9. On the Rd forum you mean Paul
  10. I was in the pub the other night, telling the old joke about what to do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath..... throw your washing in! when a guy behind me tapped me on the shoulder, and said that he didn't find that funny, because his cousin was an epileptic and had indeed died in the bath. "Drowned?" I asked "No, choked on a sock!" --------------------------------------------------------- Two couples on holiday in Newquay. The husbands, Paul and Dave decide to try and get thier ladie's to too wife swap. Amazingly they agree but Paul knows his wife is on her time of the month so he has got one up on his mate Dave. They agree that at breakfast they'll tap on the table how many times thay shagged the others missus. Next morning Paul grins and taps on the table twice, looks across at Dave who smiles, then taps once on the jam and three times on the Nutella.... ======================================================================================================================= Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, see's the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says " this is for the flowers" Don't be silly" says Paddy " you must have a vase somewhere"........ --------------------------------------------------------- Marriage is like a deck of cards, In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you'llwish you had a f*cking club and a spade.! --------------------------------------------------------- Just said to the missus," when I die, I'm going to leave everything to you." She said " You already do you lazy bastard -------------------------------------------------------- Gary always wanted a pair of Authentic Harley Davidson Motorcycle Boots , so , seeing some on sale , He bought them and wore them home . Walking proudly , He sauntered into the kitchen and said to His wife , '' Notice something different about me ? ''.. Maria looked him over and said '' Nope '' Frustrated , Gary stormed off into the bathroom , undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for his new Harley Davidson Motorcycle Boots . Again he asked Maria , a little louder this time '' Notice anything different about ME NOW ? '' Maria looked up and exclaimed '' Gary what's different ? it's hanging down today , it was hanging down yesterday , it was hanging down the day before , it will still be hanging down there tomorrow ! '' Furious , Gary yelled , '' AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARIA ? '' .. '' Nope '' she replied... '' IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE ITS LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS !!! '' Without changing her expression , Maria replied , '' You should have bought a new helmet then Gary -------------------------------------------------------- One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first." The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female." For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that. It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well." The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle. For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female." The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay." --------------------------------------------------------- wots the difference between "no!, no!, not my arse!" and "mmm, mmm,mmm, mmm, mm"? gaffa tape!!! ------------------------------------------------------- A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it. Officer: The motorcycle is stolen? Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag? Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags. Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!? Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's motorcycle is this? Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it? Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag. Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them. Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs. Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags. Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too
  11. How far in the air is the front wheel then??? What size rear tyre does it have?? and is the stand pivot worn etc, or do you have the wrong stand by any chance, my Z 650 kwak only just lifts the back wheel off the ground it has a box section swingarm fitted.
  12. Banned from ASDA, didn't like shopping there anyway Yesterday I was at my local ASDA buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had - an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from ASDA. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...... it will be their laugh for the day
  13. Mozzy you old bugger thought you were dead , well living in glastonbury is nearly as good i would imagine,
  14. well done mate things do work out eh
  15. mervin

    The happy couple

    Barky i do not remember seeing a garter shot but when all the little buggers come off facebook and it starts working faster than a 50cc scooter running on diesel i will have another look for ya
  16. Goff and Mark got married on saturday what a spooktastic wedding, one pic ihave nicked from the facebook album of a 135 pics
  17. A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them. The Cow: I give 50 liters of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!! The Ant: I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!! Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something...
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