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mervin

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Everything posted by mervin

  1. quote Sean Connery as Ramirez in highlander " no thank you i do not eat anything that is not from a recognized food chain "
  2. I know how ya feel was only home for 8 days in december so not much biking going on ice and holiday makers in knightsbridge tractors sliding all over the road so far this month have kept me off the road til last week, 60 miles trip to see a mate sturday culmineting in a ride home in pissing rain force 8 gale dodging bits of tree marauding wheelie bins, and avoiding the A39 and stupid cagers, got home piss soaking wet cold but happy, and did another 20 miles on tues so getting back at it, but trucking off to europe tomorra so thats it for now merv
  3. PC non racist version just posted by Chris Wheal on XRV forum Too late to post the racially neutral version I suppose? A millionaire throws a party for his workers at his sumptuous mansion. After a few drinks he guides his staff to a giant pool, inside which two enormous sharks are circling. "I value valour before everything else," the millionaire tells his workers. "And I will give anything - and I mean anything - to any one of you brave enough to swim the length of this pool." His announcement is met with complete silence and the party resumes. An hour later, after several more drinks have been consumed, everyone is amazed to hear a huge splash. They all rush to the pool to see what's happened and, to their amazement, see Dave from accounts swimming as hard and as fast as he can for the other side. Against all the odds he makes it and, as he pulls himself out of the water, the millionaire rushes over to him and says: "You are the bravest man I know and I am a man of my word. What is it I can give you? Anything, just name it." Dave looks at him and says: "You can start with the name of the ******* that tripped me up."
  4. Tell ya what come over too aircooled rd club and we have loads of us members there as well as uk, aus,canada etc you will get loads of help there merv
  5. mervin

    vatican humour

    VATICAN HUMOR >>> >>> After putting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and >>> he doesn't travel lightly), the driver notices the Pope is still >>> standing on the curb. >>> >>> 'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take >>> your seat so we can leave?' >>> >>> 'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive >>> at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive >>> today.' >>> >>> 'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my >>> job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd >>> never gone to work that morning. >>> >>> 'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile. >>> >>> Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind >>> the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision because, after >>> exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 >>> kph. (Remember, the Pope is German.) >>> >>> 'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the >>> Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. >>> >>> 'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my licence -- and my job!' moans the >>> driver. >>> >>> The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, >>> but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets >>> on the radio. >>> >>> 'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher. >>> >>> The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a >>> limo going 205 kph. >>> >>> 'So bust him,' says the Chief. >>> >>> 'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the >>> cop. >>> >>> The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!' >>> >>> 'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence. >>> >>> The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?' >>> Cop: 'Bigger.' >>> >>> Chief: 'A senator?' >>> Cop: 'Bigger.' >>> >>> Chief: 'The Prime Minister?' >>> Cop: 'Bigger.' >>> >>> 'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?' >>> >>> Cop: 'I think it's God!' >>> >>> The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's >>> God?' >>> >>> Cop: 'The Pope is His chauffeur!' Reply With Quote
  6. Not being familiar with the XS i cannot say for definite but the spindle maybe threaded into the fork leg behind the nut, try unscrewing it out first, if not put a piece of wood against the end and tap it out, I assume you have undone the clamp Merv
  7. A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know what? 'You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?' 'What dear?' she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. 'I think you're bad luck... Get the f*** away from me ---------------------------------------------------------- >A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her > > Stammerers Action group. She had tried every technique in the book > > without the slightest success. > > > > Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said "If any of you can tell me > > the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will > > have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your > > eyes > > water. > > So, who wants to go first ?" > > > > The Englishman piped up. "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham", he said. > > > > "That's no use, Trevor" said the speech therapist, "Who's next ?" > > > > The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out > > "P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley". > > > > That's no better. There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish. > > > > How about you, Paddy ? > > > > The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out " London". > > > > Brilliant, Paddy! said the speech therapist and immediately set about > > living up to her promise. > > > > After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for > > breath and Paddy said > > > > > > "-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".
  8. I was in Homebase the other day pushing my trolley around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart. I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?" I said, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
  9. mervin

    Yamaha RD250E

    400e is a long term project i have got all the rarer bits now exhausts i got from germany 4 years ago before prices went silly there. basically just need to build the engine up and screw to together now,400 D will be out again come the summer as will 250 perhaps my favourite of the RD,s not quite so powerful but revs and goes nicely Merv
  10. Alzheimer's test The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it! 1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3. This is how cat. 4. This is to cat. 5. This is keep cat. 6. This is an cat. 7. This is old cat. 8. This is fart cat. 9. This is busy cat. 10. This is for cat. 11. This is forty cat. 12. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I betcha' you cannot resist passing it on.
  11. A chain is only as strong as.............as the friendship A friend in need is a................reason to go on the thousand mile trip A journey of a thousand miles begins..........tomorrow A little of what you fancy......................Is along way away a thousand miles in fact A penny saved is a............a donation to the thing you fancy a thousand miles away All work and no play makes.............it impossible to do the thousand mile trip for the thing you fancy All good things come to he who..........makes that thousand mile trip Cold hands, warm.............exhausts after a thousand miles aoooucchh Great minds think............why the hell did i come a thousand miles just for that
  12. Scott a couple of years ago there was a shipwreck near me and there were BMW,s in the cargo washed out of containers that people were scavenging off the beach branscombe beach yesterday a loasd of wood was washed off a ship in the English channel wood washed overboard and RDLY was complaining on the rd forum there were no beemers on the ship so i sent this suggestion to him
  13. rmemeber the BMW,s we had in devon recently after the shipwreck, well this has been spotted in kent
  14. mervin

    Finally....

    great stuff scott enjoy merv
  15. 6 year olds/proverbs Sorry if been posted before, I love these though! A grade one teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by grade one kids ("6"year-olds), because the last one is classic! Strike while the ..........................insect is close. Never underestimate the power of............ants. Don't bite the hand that....................looks dirty. Better to be safe than......................punch a grade 7 boy. If you lie down with dogs, you'll...........stink in the morning. It's always darkest before..................Daylight Saving Time. You can lead a horse to water but...........how? No news is..................................impossible. A miss is as good as a......................Mr. You can't teach an old dog new..............maths. Love all, trust.............................me. The pen is mightier than the................pigs. An idle mind is..............................the best way to relax. Where there's smoke there's.................pollution. Happy the bride who.........................gets all the presents. A penny saved is............................not much. Two's company, three's......................the Musketeers. Don't put off till tomorrow what............you put on to go to bed. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and .....................................you have to blow your nose. There are none so blind as..................Stevie Wonder. Children should be seen and not.............smacked or grounded. If at first you don't succeed...............get new batteries. You get out of something only what you......see in the picture on the box. When the blind leadeth the blind............get out of the way. And the favorite: Better late than............................pregnant!
  16. mervin

    Yamaha RD250E

    well said look at my list of bikes Merv
  17. mervin

    My biking history

    good pedigree mate merv
  18. Read the pay and display machine notice board to confirm, At this years Cheddar Rd meet we were sitting in a corner of the car park where there was a corner marked motorcycle parking it was kinda of triangular between the tin bin spaces anyhow we spilled over into a few spaces either side, along came pissportant official hat told us we could not occupy car spaces unless we paid, if we bought one ticket we could jam as many bikes as we wanted in a car space. but the free parking was only in the corners so we jammed all the bikes into the free bike park space merv
  19. found these 320 mm but they say rd200 fleabay200 shocks
  20. mervin

    present climate

    > * What's the capital of Iceland? - About £3.50 > > * How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday > > * Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning? > Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon > > > > *What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? The > pizza can still feed a family of four. > > *As a surprise, a chief exec's wife pops by his office. She finds him in > an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without > hesitation, he starts dictating: '. . . and in conclusion, gentlemen, > credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this > office with just one chair > > What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon? > The pigeon is still capable of leaving a deposit on a new Ferrari. > > *A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament is stuck in traffic. Noticing > a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: 'What's the hold-up?' > The policeman replies: 'The Prime Minister is so depressed he's stopped > his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set > himself on fire. 'He says no one believes he can get us through the credit > crunch. So we're taking up a collection for him.' The lobbyist asks: 'How > much have you got so far?' The officer replies: 'About 40 gallons, but a > lot of people are still siphoning.' > > *The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been > repossessed. > > *Latest news: The Isle of Dogs bank has collapsed. They've called in the > retrievers. > > *What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't sell anything? > A Quarter-pounder with fries, please. > > *Bradford & Bingley employees are concerned they were given no notice of > the takeover by Santander Bank. > A Government spokesman said: 'No one expected the Spanish acquisition.' > > You know it's a credit crunch when... > * The cashpoint asks if you can spare any change. > * There's a 'buy one, get one free' offer - on banks. > * The Inland Revenue is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers. > * Gordon Brown has stopped chewing his nails and started sucking his thumb. > * Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than sterling. > * Highgrove has been repossessed. > * Victoria Beckham is pictured shopping in Primark. > * Alistair Darling's eyebrows have turned white. > > Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world > economic summit. Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles: 'You know, I could > throw a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very > happy.' Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says: 'Well, I could throw five > £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy.' Gordon > says: 'Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window and > make ten people very happy.' The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of > them, and says: 'I could throw all of you out of the window and make the > whole country happy.'
  21. sounds as if it could have been a little stone in the brake caliper, now it has worn away and gone, have had this with cars before Merv
  22. durex ad look at outakes as well Durex advert
  23. RD250 is expensive to buy and will not be cheap to insure as i found out when i tried to put my daughter on mine when she was 18, SR250 yup not a bad litlte single XS250 bit more complicated but damn good bike all the same. Who remembers the yam press launch in 77 where too you may ask a bike show no marrakesh Merv
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