Three women who were friends in school have returned to their hometown to attend their 25th reunion and have lunch together. Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.
The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.
The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes,"and looks about with considerable pride.
The third woman says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions -- but 13 canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's erect penis."
After a long silence, the first woman looks shame-faced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. We're not really going to the French Riviera -- we're going to skegness for two weeks."
The second woman says, "Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes -- he bought me an astra."
"Well," the third woman says, "I also have a confession to make. Canary number 13 has to stand on one leg."
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So I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out.
She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, "A folding bottle."
She said, "Okay. What do you call it?"
"A Fottle."
"What else do you have?"
"A folding carton."
"What do you call it?"
"A Farton."
She snickered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.