mervin

Hi, I'm selling 2 mobiles that I don't use anymore, if anyone is interested: Almost new Nokia with camera (4.1 mega pixels) £23 Older model Nokia with camera and vibrating alert £45 scroll down for pic > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > >> > > > > > > > >

Murky sunday morning outside the local sattelite tracking (SPY) staion

Ah i thought it was going to be pics of a moggie Nice bike though Merv

Happy easter folks just spent most of the last 2 days with the shits and spewing so no biking for me did manage a brief spin on the 250 on friday though merv

should become a collectors item !!!!!!!

nice one Drewpy merv

Hi Al Sad to hear you sold the RD mate but needs must and if you have a good woman look after her best of luck look after yourself. Merv

How far are you intending too go there is some very good scenery similar too Scotts in the highlands of scotland and during june the days are long and the nights short. If you head up the west side from glasgow, loch lomond fort william, maybe go via oban,slight detour but nice place, along loch ness(Andy rose lives near the loch) to inverness then take the road A9 noth or south depending on wether yuo wanna go on or go home. merv

Good Collection of Harley Jokes (And I don't mean a collection of Harley riders) Harley-Davidson: The most efficient way to convert gasoline into noise without the adverse side effect of horsepower. Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road? - The other 5% actually made it home. Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets? - Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her head. What's the cheapest way to get another 50hp from your Harley? - Trade it in on a Kawasaki. Why don't Harley riders sit on their bikes when the sidestands are down? - They're afraid to lean over that far. What's the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner's home? - The Harley costs more and has fewer wheels. How do you know you're riding a Harley? - While coming off an exit-ramp you get passed by the parts that are falling off. Why don't Harley riders wave at sportbike riders? - Because they don't want to drop their tools. How do you know all the aftermarket parts you bought for your Harley are worth the money? - You finally break into the 15's in the quarter mile. Where can you find the world's largest collection of Harley jokes? - At Sturgis What do you call a group of Harley Owners with a collective IQ of 120? - Sturgis! How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name? - They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the horsepower rating. Why don't Harley owners smile? - Once you realized you got conned into paying $25,000 for an outdated piece of $#!+ would YOU be smiling? What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner? - The location of the dirtbags. Why do Harleys have a fringe? - So you can tell if they're moving. How do you know your Harley is handling great? - You can almost keep up with the logging trucks when you're riding in the canyons. How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog? - They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks. What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog? - The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself. Why couldn't the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob? - Some things just can't be fixed with only a hammer and a rope. What's the difference between a Harley taken to Daytona on a trailer and one that's being ridden there? - The one on the trailer is going about 30mph faster. Why do all Harley owners have trailers?? - So they can go around corners faster! You know you're a Harley rider if... ...you're unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light. ...you confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term "engineering flaws." ..."water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain, waiting for a your buddy to come in his pickup truck. harley's come with a free squirrel they follow you round and pick up the nuts _________________

Try ebay Scott most things are sold on there, if not make a couple of dummy ones from plywood looking good though Merv

Yes andNo you are not on the limit of available pistons I think yamaha only did pistons too 1.5 mm over but you can get pattern pistons too 2.5 go for quality ones Prox or Mitaka or wiseco make sure the borer knows what he is doing as well Stans Stephens or Prox engineering shouidlknow waht they are doing www.prox.co.uk for prox www.stanstephens.com for stan stephens merv

brilliant

Back in the Swinging Sixties, Michael Caine is holding a big showbiz party in his stanky new house. Everyone who's anyone is there top stars from the worlds of movies and music, fashion and art. There's a feed of pints, the best wines that money can buy, oysters, champagne, Lennon and McCartney are helping themselves at the bar, Jim Morrison and his band are sitting on the couch singing "Light My Fire", and over in the corner, George Peppard's getting very pally with Sophia Loren. All's going really well, until Jim Morrison decides he's bored out of his skull, and wants to go home for an early night curled up with a good book. "Oi, Jim," objects Michael Caine, "the party's just got started. How's about I get one of 'the ladies' to take you into the spare bedroom for a bit of the 'how's yer father?'" "Fair play," nods Jim [well that's not his exact words, but you get the gist], "As long as she does the rest of the band, too." "Not a problem, Jim," smiles Michael, as he pulls a young dolly bird in close and whispers some instructions in her ear. Half an hour later, the young lass is just wiping her chin, when in walks Ringo Starr from the Beatles. "Alright, luv?" he drones, "don't suppose you fancy extending that service to me, do you?" The young woman thinks about this for a second, then says "What the hell!" and proceeds to unzip Ringo's fly and get to work on the BJ. Ringo's having a grand time, until, mere moments before the end, the door open's and Michael Caine bursts in. He grabs the young girl by the back of the hair and Slaps her hard across the face and says: Scroll down............. You're were only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off!!!!

A woman sitting in an Adelaide restaurant suddenly began to cough. > > > >After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and > >two locals, Kenzie and Brian sitting at the next table turned to look at > >her. > >Kin ya swaller? asked Kenzie. > > The woman signalled 'No!' desperately shaking her head. > >Kin ya breathe?" asked Brian. The woman shook her head No!!! > > With that, Kenzie walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, > >yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her > >arse. > >This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction fle= w > >out of her mouth and she began to breathe again. > > Kenzie swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer. > > Brian said in admiration "Ya know Kenzie, I'd heard of that bloody Hind > >Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it"!

Nah It,s not cheating all engines and frames are4 not numbered until a little jap puts em on in the factory so if he put the wrong one on your frame or engine yuo must be entitled to change it. I heard of a guy on the lc forum that got new engine casings for a 350 lc and was told by the old bill he had to have numbers stamped on em so he put his birth date on em, so if you spot a lc with a weird engine numbers thets wot it is

A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer. After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for another beer. This happens about another seven times before the bartender asks him, "Why do you keep looking in your pocket?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I'll go home."

get a set of number and letter stamps and yuo canmake matching numbers

Scott that made the main news here on telly last night merv

A virile, young Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So...you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No." Surprised, the young man reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashes about wildly and there are screams of passion. The rooting ends, and again, the young man smiles, and again he asks, "You finish?" And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and softly says, "No." Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the young man reaches for the woman yet again using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together, screaming, bucking, clawing, and ripping the bed sheets. The exhausted man falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks again, "You finish?" Barely able to speak, she whispers in his ear, "No, I Norwegian

A Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. They all have a stutter. "Th th th th three pi pi pi..........." says the Welshman. Up steps the Irishman. "Three p pints of of of of gui gui gui.." Then the Scotsman tries. "Th th th th th th th................." "Oh sod this !" says the beautiful landlady and walks away to serve someone else. She returns ten minutes later and asks if they are ready to order yet. "Th th th th three pi pi pi pi", stutters the Welshman. "Three pints of gui gui gui gui........." tries Paddy. And then Scotty starts "Th th th th th th th...........". "Look" says the beautiful landlady, "who loves a bet?" "If any one of you can tell me where you live without stuttering I'll let you make love to me!" Quietly confident that no one will win, she turns to the Welshman. "Where do you live then boyo?" "C C C C CC AAAA.......Rrrrrrr.... ." "No. You lose." says the beautiful landlady. Turning to the Scotsman, "Where do you live Scotty?" she asks, trying not to laugh. "E E E Ed Ed Edin Edin Edin Edinb." "No. You lose." says the gorgeous woman. "And Paddy, where do you live?" she purrs at the Irishman. "London" blurts out the Irishman. "Oh no!" says the landlady. A great cheer goes up in the pub and the landlady reluctantly takes him by the hand and leads him upstairs. Once in the bedroom she strips to her underwear, next she takes off her bra exposing a voluptuous bosom. Finally she slides off her panties then climbs into bed. Paddy with concentration furrowing his brow, climbs on and goes for glory, and then, right at the end he suddenly screams out.. ".......D D D Derry!!" ensitive men do exist A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect,they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall. The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mentionthis to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him ... they kiss...and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?" The guy says: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (Scroll down it's a beauty) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf." _________________ 3 signs to show you have grown up > > > SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP!! > >1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. > >2. Having sex in a bunk bed is out of the question. > >3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. > >4. 6:00am is when you get up, not when you go to bed. > >5. You hear your favourite song in a shopping centre. > >6. You listen to Terry Wogan. > >7. Your friends marry & divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup." > >8. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." > >9. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door >won't turn down the stereo. > >10. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. > >11. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. > >12. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. > >13. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. > >14. You take weekend naps from noon > >15. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. > >16. You go to the Chemist for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and >pregnancy tests. > >17. A £4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." > >18. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. > >19. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to >drink that much again!" > >20. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. > >21. You drink at home to save money before going to a pub. > >22. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead >of asking "Oh S*$# What Happened?" > >23. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt. _________________

I will forgive you this time as it is a clssic goldie Merv

yup ford have made some good quick motors in their time sem to be closing a lot of factories though Travelling down the M1 last summer i saw 3 white fords all 3 rare Sierra cosworth escort RS1600i and the rarest among them a 1967/8 mk1 escort twin cam the grandaddy of the 3 merv

Cardiff Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of Gorilla. > > Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to > handle. > > Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. > > The gorilla was on heat. > > To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla of the species available. > > While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Gareth, a big > Welsh lad from Swansea, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. > > Gareth, like most Swansea boys, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed > with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. > > So, the administrators thought they might have a solution. > > Gareth was approached with a proposition. > > Would he be willing to have intercourse with the gorilla for £500 ? > > Gareth showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over > carefully. > > The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, only under > three conditions: > > "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her". > > "Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this." > > The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked > what was his third condition. > > "Well," said Gareth........ > > "You've got to give me another week to come up with the £500." > > =========================== > > The Herberts were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a > surrogate father to start their family.> > > On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Herbert kissed his wife and > said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon". > > Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang > the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning madam. I've come to...." > > "Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Herbert cut in. > > "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is babies. > > "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." > After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" > > Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, > one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room > floor is fun too. You can really spread out!" > > Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for > my husband and me." > > Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. > But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven > angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." > > Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...." > > Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. > I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with > that, I'm sure." > > Wife (muttering)- "Don't I know it." > > The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby > pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus." > > Wife - "Oh my god!" > > Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you > consider their mother was so difficult to work with." > > Wife - "She was difficult?" > > Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to > get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, > pushing to get a good look." > > Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement). > > Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother was > constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! > Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the > squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." > > Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your... > equipment?" > > Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my > tripod so that we can get to work" > > Wife - "Tripod?" > > Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. > It's> much too big for me to hold very long!" > > At this point Mrs. Herbert fainted.... > _________________

Children's Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A:Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen). A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U. Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie. Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section" A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome. Q: What does the word "benign" mean?' A: Benign is what you will be afteryou be eight. _________________