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mervin

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  1. mervin

    chilli

    trawling the gusset of the internet, dont need to the inmates of the backyard on the lc forum do it for me and sometimes south west bikers forum members. merv
  2. mervin

    chilli

    > A Texas Chilli Contest - **Note: Please take time to read this slowly. > > > > If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the > > third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in > > Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chilli > > Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major > > portion of the parking lot at the city park. > > > > The notes are from an inexperienced Chilli taster named Frank, who > > was visiting from Canada. Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be > > selected as a judge at a chilli cook-off. The original person called > > in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at > > the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, > > when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native > > Texans) that the chilli wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, > > they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I > > accepted". > > > > Here are the scorecards from the advent: (Frank is Judge #3) > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Chilli # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chilli > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # > > 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild. Judge # 3 -- (Frank) > > Holy sh!t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint > > from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope > > that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Chilli # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chilli > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of > > pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavour, needs > > more peppers to be taken seriously. > > Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what > > I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who > > wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer > > when they saw the look on my face. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Chilli # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chilli > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chilli. Great kick. Needs more > > beans. Judge # 2 -- A beanless chilli, a bit salty, good use of > > peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My > > nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the > > routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me > > on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm > > getting sh!t- faced from all of the beer. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Chilli # 4 Bubba's Black Magic ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Judge # 1 -- Black bean chilli with almost no spice. Disappointing. > > Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for > > fish or other mild foods, not much of a chilli.. Judge # 3 -- I felt > > something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is > > it possible to burn out taste buds?Sally, the barmaid, was standing > > behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb [witch] is starting to look > > HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an > > aphrodisiac? > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Chilli # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chilli. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, > > adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chilli using > > shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers > > make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is > > pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted > > and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed > > offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. > > Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it > > from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really > > p!sses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. > > Screw those rednecks. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Chilli # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chilli. Good balance > > of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of > > peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. > > Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, > > sulphuric flames. I sh!t myself when I farted and I'm worried it will > > eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except > > that Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips > > anymore. I need to wipe my ars@ with a snow cone. > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Chilli # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chilli > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chilli with too much reliance on canned > > peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw > > in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. **I should take note > > that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of > > distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put > > a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. > > I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of > > rushing water. My shirt is covered with chilli which slid unnoticed > > out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like sh!t to match my > > shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. > > I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not > > getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in > > through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. > > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Chilli # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chilli > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chilli. Not > > too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- > > This final entry is a good, balance chilli. Neither mild nor > > hot.Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, > > passed out, fell over and pulled the chilli pot down on top of > > himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how > > he'd have reacted to really hot chilli
  3. mervin

    Tankslappers!

    I had a couple of tank slapper,s on the old Rd years ago, one on a dead straight road just started wobbling for some reason shitty moments but managed to pull through, and the other one well she was a different story, wobble like hell when bent over the tank being given some from behind merv
  4. Yes a shitty moment when braking although only lasting a part of a second feels like a long time especially while heading for stationary object, When i was training 3 years ago the instructor Alex bollocked me for cadence braking but it sure as hell is a good way of stopping, yuo just put the brake on til it locks mometarily then release it, You get taught it or used to when HGV training, but do not try this if you have ABS as it does it for you, Oh and thining about wet Andyrose will remeber this i reckon When the RD 400,s were introduced with a rear disc ( the first proddie bike with one i beleive) everyone said there is a delay when wet on the brake as it dries out , which was true only one turn of the disc but after the drum model it felt like a long time, but my were they good brakes when they did work merv
  5. mervin

    rd350 1982

    Welcome to you moe I assume from the fact you say you have a RD not an RZ you are in england or europe, I see Scott has reccomended the LC club also check out www.pgmyamaha.com jonny stocks loads of otherwise unobtainable bits And llok out Yambits on ebay a very highly recommended seller, merv
  6. mervin

    george w

    George Bush has a heart attack and dies. Obviously, he goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I'm not sure what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here, so I'm going to have to let some-one else go. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves." George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it were Richard Nixon and a large pool of hot water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could stay in hot water all day." The devil led him to the next room. In It was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time. "No!" I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day" commented George. The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said, "Ok, Monica, you're free to go!" -------------------------------------------------------
  7. No i drive a truck during the wek mate
  8. maybe scott will have to see what state it is in and how much he wants Merv
  9. Anyone got a manual on Cd for the tenere d reg 87 model i think I know someonewho has one in bits and thinking nice project the camcahin broke on it he has hadf thje head repaired he says but needs reassembling Merv
  10. World Cup squads The following squads have just been announced for the 2006 World Cup BRAZILIAN SQUAD FOR WORLD CUP 2006 Pinnochio Libero Vimto Memento Borneo Tango Cheerio Subbuteo Scenario Fellatio Portfolio SUBS: Placebo Porno Polio Banjo Brasso Stereo (L) Stereo ® Hydrochlorofluoro Aristotle Computersezno YUGOSLAVIAN SQUAD FOR WORLD CUP 2006 Itch Annoyingitch Hardtoreachitch Scratchanitch Hic Sic Spic Pric Digaditch Fallinaditch Horseraditch SUBS: Mowapitch Letsgetrich Shagabitch RUSSIAN SQUAD FOR WORLD CUP 2006 Whodyanicabolicov Ticlycov Chesticov Nasticov Slalomsky Downhillsky Risky Swedishshev Mastershev f*c*ov Uf*c*ov SUBS: Rubitov Gechakitov Sodov Pastryshev Najinsky Ivorripabollockov Taykitov ROMANIAN SQUAD FOR WORLD CUP 2006 Chatanoogaciouciou Atishiou Blessiou Thankyiou Busqueue Snookercu Pennyciou Twoapennyciou Fourapennyciou I'llgetciou Youandwhosarmi SUBS: U NonU ManU Stuffyiou Lee Kwan Yu DANISH SQUAD FOR WORLD CUP 2006 Toomanigoalssen Tryandstopussen Crapdefenssen Haveagossen Firstsson Seccondsson Thirdsson Legshurtssen Notroubleseeingussen Wherestheballssen Getthebeerssen SUBS: Howmanygoalsisthatssen Finallygaveupcountinssen Hurryupandblowthewhistlessen Yourelatedtoalexfergusonssen ITALIAN SQUAD FOR WORLD CUP 2006 Baloni Potbelli Beerbelli Giveitsumwelli Wotsontelli Yrarseissmelli Onetoomani Legslikejelli Havabenni Wobblijelli Spendapenni SUBS: Cantthinkofani!!! Buggermi MEXICAN SQUAD FOR WORLD CUP 2006 San Francisco Costa Brava Hopelez Juan Andonly Manuel Gearbox Don Criformi-Argentina Skrewdigalz Luis Canon Sombrero Chihuahua Jose SUBS: Jesus Maria Don Key Burrito Speedy Gonzalez Tequila Caramba DUTCH SQUAD FOR WORLD CUP 2006 Kenning van Hire Van Diemansland Van der Valk Van Gard Van Erealdizeez Ad van Tagus Hertz van Rental Transit van Dors Van Coova Van Sprokendown Aye van Hoe SUBS: Van Iller Van Ishincreme Van Morrison Two players who are not included are Russian hard-man Sendimov, who will be serving a three-month suspension, and the hard-working Mexican midfielder, Manuel Labor. There is no place in the Dutch squad for lesbian tranny, Dick van Dyke. The young Dutch star Per Vert has been excluded from the squad, after he was discovered in the back streets of Amsterdam with his finger in a dyke.
  11. Well Scott I will not argue with your choice for a stroker there Personally I would like a Kenny Roberts Works 700 from the 70,s Martin Bells RD700 looks good too
  12. All the o ring chains i have bought reently have had a clip link and a rivet link, I always have used the clip link but only on smaller bikes (RD400) i assume you can rivet the other links to make an endless chain Paul smeeton is doing 20% discount on chains and sprockets at the moment if you want a price guide, http://www.bitzforbikes.co.uk/ merv
  13. Happy birthday mate Not old enough, that never stopped me. merv
  14. How about a divvy Andy,s got one now i beleive Merv
  15. Thats the way to do it merv
  16. try the lc forum http://www.yamaha-rd.com/forum/ merv
  17. well if nothing else a google search turned up a copy of the parts book http://www.db001c1020.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/XV920J/xv750K.pdf merv
  18. Nice I like the colur scheme as well, Speedblocks, merv
  19. Happy birfday Al Mine is in may as well merv
  20. Do you happen to have the part number? Maybe a pic of the old one with dimensions or you could try Jim Patch 01963 364411 I have seen repros for the early DS7 etc for sale somwhere Merv
  21. mervin

    unfaaithful

    The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom > making love to a beautiful, young lady! > > "You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this > to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving this > house, I want divorce!" > > The husband replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen > to what happened. You can't say I'm dishonest." > > "Hmm, I don't know, well, it'll be the last thing I will hear from you. But > make it fast, you unfaithful pig, you!" > > The husband begins to tell his story . . . > > "While driving home this young lady asked for a ride. I saw her so > defenceless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she > was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She mentioned that at she > had not eaten for 3 days. With great compassion I brought her home and > warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night that you wouldn't > eat because you're afraid you'll gain weight; the poor thing practically > devoured them." > > "Since she was very dirty I asked if she wanted to take a shower. While she > was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw > her clothes away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans > that you have had for a few years, that you can no longer wear because they > are too tight on you, I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our > anniversary and you don't wear because I don't have good taste." > > "I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you will > not wear just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots that you > bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw > your co-worker wearing the same pair." > > The husband continues his story . . . . . > > "The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door. When > we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out of her eyes, > she asks me: > > "Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?" _________________
  22. pictures there now jim
  23. Scott ice to see a happy smiling face, bet he will get hours of fun from that bike My 17 year old pased his driving test at teh first attempt on friday, He is gone off on his own for the weekend to his gliding lessons,saves me having to wait for him to phone and say come and get me merv
  24. Yes they are getting to be bastards about number plates etc easy money again meanwhile break ins etc are not even being investigated Merv
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